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Original poster

To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

258 replies

RentANDBills · 26/10/2016 14:20

In very pathetic excited about the new whisk I got today and decided to make some pancakes.

In my enthusiasm I forgot the basic laws of physics and plunged said whisk into a full jug of milk and eggs, plastering myself and the kitchen in mix. Seriously, the place was covered.
Contemplating my choices, I cleared it all up.
This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that I then immediately did the exact same thing again. I'm now dripping with eggs, milk and shame wondering why people pay me to look after their children when I clearly need full time supervision myself Blush

please tell me your stupidest stories, I suspect I'm the worlds biggest plonker right now

OP posts:
ohtheholidays · 26/10/2016 17:19

My poor Mum managed to superglue her finger to her false teeth and then managed to stick it all to her mouth,I of course helped straight away Grin Grin Grin to be fair I did tell her she shouldn't use the superglue for her false teeth to start with and she was laughing as much as I was it took me over half an hour to help her because in between trying to help her,laughing uncontrollaby I had to keep running to the loo so I didn't pee myself.

We told my Dad when he came home from work he said to my Mum are you sure I should be leaving you in charge of our DD(me) anymore whilst his face did a mixture of Grin Shock Confused Grin I was about 7 at the time and she never lived it down bless her and it wasn't the last time she managed it neither Grin

queenc81 · 26/10/2016 17:26

Last Christmas, my local supermarket piled high in an (amazing shape of a Xmas tree) loads of boxes of gorgeous tree decorations.

My husband pulled me past 3 times, he knew I wanted to touch it, I did end up touching it, about 1000 decorations ended up rolling around the store, tree ruined. I just picked up a box, walked back to DH who was mortified and we paid and left Grin

No I've never been back, and no I've not learn my lesson. I'm not allowed out alone at Christmas time with the fancy decorations stores have.

BoinkAlongQuietly · 26/10/2016 17:28

I also once had DS in the car seat in the back seat to drive him to nursery and the car wouldn't start. I phoned the local mini cab to come pick us up so I could take DS to nursery before sorting out the car.

DS was getting irritable so I went and sat in the back seat with him to settle him while waiting for the cab. I accidentally shut the sleeve of my jumper in the door when I got in the back seat. I realised that the child locks were on and the windows were electric so my only option was to take my jumper off and climb over the front seat to get out.

Of course I was hurriedly doing this and had just opened the front car door wearing only my bra when the mini cab pulled up Blush so I just had to open the back door and get my jumper and put it on while acting like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I thought I would be finished before he got thereBlush

Hushabyelullaby · 26/10/2016 17:30

When I was 16 I was ironing a shirt and couldn't be bothered to get the ironing board. Instead of using a folded up towel or something under my black top, I just went ahead and ironed it placed straight on to my light blue carpet. Yes, the heat bonded it to the carpet and I had to peel it off. I was most disgruntled at the blue threads of carpet ruining my shirt, rather than the patches of welded black fabric stuck to the floor.

I rang my mobile because I couldn't find it, and was less than impressed to find it was engaged and 'someone' was using it. It was me calling my mobile, from my mobile!

I'm positive there are many more, they are the first 2 that sprang to mind though.

Redwhiteorrose · 26/10/2016 17:35

When DD1 was a baby, sleep deprivation led me to put her bottle in the cupboard and a jar of coffee in the microwave. It didn't end well!

MollyRedskirts · 26/10/2016 17:46

So, so many to choose from...

I picked my newborn DS up by his head instead of by his chest. (Yes, he's fine.) He was in a sitting position and I was completely out of it on post surgery morphine.

Broke a toe by jumping off a stage. Broke the same toe, two years later, by jumping off the same stage to demonstrate to someone how I'd done it the first time.

Almost caused a car accident by showing my aunty the scar on my breast from my lumpectomy. We were in a car at the time and some random man saw us, did a double take and almost crashed off the road. He corrected it, but it was a close thing.

Sonders · 26/10/2016 17:59

When I was about 13 I hid my mobile phone in my TV's built-in VHS player (pre-DVDs) in case the house was burgled. Not only was that totally illogical, but I didn't turn the phone off and when I came back the TV was totally knackered.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 26/10/2016 17:59

I managed to sew myself to a dress I was making as a college project. Needed to go to A&E to get the needle removed from my finger.
Can I tell you about one of dh's mishaps?
He's always been one for trying to do too much at once. Like trying to carry too many breakable things in one go. I've had words about this before when he's not bothered asking for help and has ended up breaking something.
On this occasion he was trying to balance a load of stuff together badly and move it out the way while he was trying to cook.
He had spilled grease on the floor.
He did what I can only describe as some sort of mutant version of the Lindy Hop when he realised he had no hand free to steady himself. He fell over and dropped everything.
I didn't know whether to laugh or scream.

Bumbleclat · 26/10/2016 18:06

The children in my class were doing a sponsored pancake flip run by the PTA.

Children kept coming in during registration and handing frying pans to my teaching assistants and they were being told to bring them up to the school hall.

Just before assembly, I said to my TA "oh dear, little Emma (aged 4) has brought a toy plastic frying pan in, I'm worried it will melt" my TA burst into fits of giggles and said, "Obviously they won't be tossing real pancakes with hot fat and batter in, they're just going to be sponsored for every flip!"

I couldn't believe I hadn't even thought about the notion of reception aged children flipping boiling pans of hot fat or even questioned it.

I hadn't been in the job for long and wanted my teaching assistants to think I was in some way competent! Blush

slenderisthenight · 26/10/2016 18:45

Went to great lengths to take a pessary orally while pregnant.

2kids2dogsnosense · 26/10/2016 18:54

slender

Oh. My. WORD!

OrionsAccessory · 26/10/2016 19:20

My first one was when I was 3! I was at playgroup and had just been given a small cup of orange juice. I wondered to myself if I could swallow the juice with my mouth open. So I tried. And got orange juice all down my front. I see my dd2 do stuff like this all the time now, poor girl!

When I was 15ish I was teaching my brother (who would have been about 8) how to cook scrambled eggs. After I'd taken the pot off the hob I said "now, I've turned the hob off but it will still be very hot so don't touch it" then I put my hand on the ring so he knew exactly where he shouldn't put his hand. I was right, it was still very very hot Blush

When dh and I moved into our first house we had a lovely set of pans as a housewarming gift but we hadn't bought and oven dish type things yet. One night I was making a pasta bake thing and put it in the oven in one of the ovenproof pans. When it was cooked I opened the oven and grabbed the pan handle with my bare hand. I hate cooking.

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 26/10/2016 19:22

I tried to make burgers so chucked some mince and onions etc in the blender. Turned it off then plunged my hand in to grab a handful of the mixture. Grabbed hold of the blade and sliced my fingers Blush

IreallyKNOWiamright · 26/10/2016 19:27

This evening I burnt my wrist throwing onion into the pan. I knew there was oil in the pan but it must have heated up really quickly. I feel like an idiot and now have a scar Sad

rumbelina · 26/10/2016 20:00

Thought it would be a good idea to ride my bike wearing my roller skates. It wasn't. They caught in the wheels and I grazed a whole side of my body on gravel. Idiot.

NuttyMcAlletun · 26/10/2016 20:02

I forgot to put my sport underwear in my sport bag, and only realised when I got changed 2 minute before starting. I thought it would be ok to train with a normal bra and a thong. It was not.

I punched myself in the face.

Things I put in my baby's bottle: coffee, coca cola, sugar, tea bag, milk - when you are supposed to add only water to the powder. Thank god I always realised before giving it to them, but I am an idiot. (not the same bottle, not the same day, not the same baby!)

CeeCeeEnnEss · 26/10/2016 20:14

At school, we were in pairs working with bunsen burners. Ours wouldn't light, so my friend was peering into it with the gas on. Without thinking, I shoved a lit match into the line of gas and it lit. Luckily it was the yellow flame so only singed her hair; I sometimes get sweats thinking about what if it had been the blue flame!!

KERALA1 · 26/10/2016 20:14

Threw my handbag in a lake. Emphasising a point to my friend, 8 months pregnant at the time. Then climbed over a fence and into lake to retrieve. All dried out fine except phone. Dh was Shock when I got home

HighwayDragon1 · 26/10/2016 20:25

I'd parked too close to the hedge on our drive, dd climbed over the seat, I followed her to strap her in, shut the door behind me. Child locks on. So me and dd are sat in the back of the car with me laughing my head off. I shimmied over the front seat into my drivers seat then realised that the back windows are wind down and I couldnhave just opened the window to open the back door. D'oh.

ApocalypseNowt · 26/10/2016 20:32

I kicked a nettle with my bare foot to see if it was a nettle.

It was.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/10/2016 20:32

When I was at uni, I had never seen an electric hob before. I didn't know if it was hot or not as it didn't change colour, so I put my hand on it. Yes, it was on. My housemates pissed themselves.

About a year later, a flat that me and DP had had the same hob. I didn't know if it was on. I put my hand on it. Yes, it was on. You think I would have bloody learnt the first time.

A couple of months ago I was using my new curling wand, the handle and wand are both black and cone shaped. I decided I didn't need to look at what I was picking up and picked up the wand end. Fucking hell that hurt! I was really annoyed that I couldn't do my hair properly after tbh.

DH once almost set fire to me. I had my dressing gown on and back when we both smoked, we obviously had lighters. He was pissing around and flicked the lighter at me and my dressing gown went whoosh. Thankfully it didn't quite catch after initially whooshing but my god I shouted at him! What a tit. It stank of burning as well.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/10/2016 20:33

Oh, and OP I love yours. It's exactly the sort of thing I would do, in fact I have done something similar but I can't remember what it was now.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/10/2016 20:35

Believing my sewing machine cable to have a fault, I pulled it out of the socket on the machine itself and started to fiddle ... somehow forgetting the "plug end" was still in the switched-on socket in the wall

I've still got the scar where the shock burned me, but suppose I should be grateful to be here at all Blush

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/10/2016 20:39

Smoke coming from my pan on the oven in food tech class
It only contained water
Thought "maybe the water is burning" and turned it down
Teacher came to investigate- I'd left my recipe sheet on the hob under the pan!

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/10/2016 20:42

Wanted to microwave some kale
Pack said "4 minutes" so I put a couple of leaves in, not realising that the 4minutes is for the whole huge bag of kale
An actual fire with flames started in my microwave, I could see them through the door
I was so scared that I turned it off at the switch but didn't dare open the microwave door lest I be engulfed in a raging inferno
I sat on the front doorstep until DH came home Blush