to kill all the spiders?

[bessarabiantiger]

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

Amazing thread!

Can I share a pic of the monstrosity that wandered up to our tent last month and actually raised its front legs to attack the stick we poked it with? The pic is from Google as I was too busy running away to get my camera to capture the actual one we saw.

Behold, the lady bird spider!

PS. We live in Greece, don't come here if you're afraid of bugs....

I want to stick boogly eyes on that immediately.

How does it ever get anywhere? It's like Cartman from South Park.

SOMEBODY KNIT THAT SPIDER A WOOLY HAT.

I half expected to see a house spider in a gold bikini hanging out next to it .

Boogly eyes you say ....

Oh, and now a woolly hat as well ....

Ohmygodifuckingloveyou.

Now that I could make friends with

That is hilariously creepy

Ah fuck it, I'm on a roll now!

I'm having that framed.

I'm having rather a lot of trouble not laughing right now.

medic...

I think I've had too much rum! House spider in gold bikini huh? Sorry, didn't have a gold one! I've failed you all ...

I didn't paint the hitherto unidentified critter into the skirting board, it arrived there from planet nope and got stuck. Not a silverfish, a little bigger and browner than that. Answers on a postcard please!

That looks SO gangster Agapimou, I am never going to Greece again

Slugs of any size or colour, wig or no wig, are just NOPE.

Oh good grief My car, you invited them round to play in your dressing up box?!

Trust me, no spider on this earth would EVER be invited in .

Repeat after me:

There is no such thing as too much rum.

There is when it's the 1ltr bottle you're supposed to be saving for Christmas

There's no point crying over drunk rum.

Fact.

Now go back to putting underpants on spiders.

That house spider in a gold bikini is a work of genius.

Christmas rum is the best kind of rum to drink in September

I have been following this thread, and I have a problem that is related.

DDog is 16 years old and he thinks that every time I laugh out loud on this thread ('bout spiders) he can trundle off to our decking and bring in a spider for me to photograph. I have told him - my camera battery isn't charged!

He sniffs 'em wiv his nose and brings them in via his nostrils and then sneezes them out on his 'ickle mat. That is unreasonable isn't it? He is far too old for me get him 'dopted and I wouldn't PTS and if I LTB he wouldn't be able to open up his tins of dog food. (So I don't drip-feed, he is able to steal eat out of his big Iams bag so I don't think he would starve for at least 4 weeks)

Now, listen to this my mumsnetters, last night when I ignored DDog about the spiders he befriended, he brought slugs in! I kid you not! Slugs are not animals that need rescuing! Will someone please tell my DDog that it is acceptable for me kick them off the decking and he does NOT have to put them in his bed, under the sofa or any uvver place!

Fank U

Dear SadwidowDog - LAY OFF THE WILDLIFE, M'KAY? Your ma doesn't like it! Sticks. That's what you need to bring in, sticks. Sans wildlife. NOT stick insects, just sticks. Pleaseandthankyou.

I have the opposite problem with DSs (although not so much DS2, he's a right little screamer when he sees a bug in the house) - in the UK I would have made sure they weren't afraid and helped them touch them etc.; but here of course with the luurrrvely range of killer beasts we have, I have to stop them from attempting cordial relations with anything that has 6 or more legs. Or less than 2, of course. Except worms - they're allowed to touch worms. NOT snails (our snails have rat lungworm disease and it can eat holes in your brainz) or slugs for the same reason.

And for your further delectation and shock - we found one of these in a planter tray one year (this is not the one, this is a stock photo) - it's a house centipede and was about 2" long in the body, so overall about 4" long.

Thumb I think you should move home immediately. This is the stuff of nightmares.

Come to England and you can spend endless hours debating whether or not that spider on the wall is a false widow (it's not).

Slugs and snails over here are just slugs and snails. Not weird zombie slugs and snails that want to eat your brains.

There is no such thing as a 'house' centipede. Only 'outside' centipedes. Unless you named him after Gregory House MD, in which case that's fine but you should really refer to him as Gregory if he's living in your planter.

Lemon - I would, you know. But DH wouldn't, so I'm kinda stuck here. It's... interesting.

Oi, don't you realise your wildlife is dangerous? You need to get back to blighty asap.