to kill all the spiders?

[bessarabiantiger]

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

This is the last page of the thread. Bess please set up another, I have so enjoyed it.

[honoured by naming]

willhemena well then you can help me with this new thread I apparently have to start. We shall call it:

A: The Debrett's guide to wildlife (I feel we should expand from arachnids) around
The World

B: Bess Tiger & her imaginary menagerie

C: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT THING?!?

I vote "c"it grabs attention

Please do vote for a favourite. Also, this was my first MN post, I have no idea where to put another, is there a...wildlife forum? I'll work it all out, I shall send word to you all via homing badger.

Now, my (nearly) final act as...erm...Hostess? of this beautiful stream of nonsense, is to ask if anyone knows how to find Thumbwitch?

I feel it would be fitting for the last post (bugle joke) to be her Huntsman picture. I have no idea how to make this happen, the options from a phone are, at best, prehistoric.

I don't know about a wildlife topic. But you can link the new thread here. Just copy from the tinterweb box at top, paste here and put at the beginning and at end. So
Kind of like thing copied from tinterweb box at top of page and it will create a magic clicky link.

(My link doesn't work as I've not put a proper link in)

I vote A because it made me chuckle and spider season is coming to an end, so we need to expand.

That said, I saw millions of them on my travels today. In fact a giant beast was just hanging out at head height right in the middle of the pavement. Just rude.

Try shouting loudly....

OI! THUMBWITCH!

That should do the trick unless one of the spiders got her

I went to the zoo today but didn't see any spiders, the closest thing were spider monkeys. I'm slightly concerned that they don't want me to miss out so have sent all the spiders to my house instead and I don't have a copy of Debrett's.

I was wondering where Thumbwich was too... What if the Evil Cricket of Doom came back to finish what it started?

I vote for option c) too, that way it doesn't necessarily have to relate to the animal kingdom. The possibilities are in fact endless. Plus it has profanity and humour, much like this fabulous thread.

Stick it in chat Bess so I can find it easily - I'm worried about losing you all!

I like option C.

Hsve we lost Thumb? I knew the damned Oz wildlife would get her eventually.

Only 13 posts left on this thread!

Hellooooo!! No, the wildlife hasn't got me yet but I lost the thread while we went away to Canberra and surrounds for a few days and the internet was CRAP.

So you want to see my Huntsman, do you? Are you sure? It's a bit grubby cos it came in through the air-con unit, so it looks worse than it should, having bits of grey fluff hanging off it.

And have I mentioned assassin bugs yet? Maybe I should show you that too - they're pretty common, and we thought nothing of them until a friend here's son got stabbed by one! Nasty sting, apparently. I'll see if I can find that shot too...

Holyfuckshit thumbs!

Haven't told any of you about praying mantis. Harmless you think....but they are psyco. They hang out in the bathroom. When you open the door they turn their little triangle head like an insect chuckie. It goes 360 degrees. It follows your every move. Just when you've got your pants around your ankles and are helpless, they fly at your face...all legs and wings.....psyco fuckers. I hate them.

I vote for option C. "WHATTHEACTUALFUCKISTHAT?" ...All one word, is a common expression in our house. Especially if it has horns, serveral heads or more bright colours than an 80's disco. Even worse if Mr. Tomato replies "don't know, never seen one before in my life". He always feels the need to add "don't touch it" . You don't fucking say!

Sorry for all the swearing, it's Sunday.

YES to the psycho fucking praying mantis - we have them here too, minus the flying at you thing - but there was one a few cm long out the back that I tried to take a photo of, and it kept turning it's head to stare at me! Freaked me out - they are spooky fuckers all right.

I've found the solution to giving a shiny shit about spiders.

Couldn't care less now...

Bum, that was meant to include an almost empty bottle of wine. Oh well...
Cheers!

Hahaha - I did wonder what you were on about, Wilhamena!

Where's that Bess - if she doesn't start a new thread soon, she won't be able to link it here!

Halfway through typing that sentence, it felt like something fell on me from above, down my back. Last time that happened, it was a fucking white tail spider (see my post near the start for previous references to these things) - so I jumped a mile and looked to see where it was - but there was nothing there (bonus? Or has the fecker hidden somewhere?)
While standing up, I realised I could hear a weird double clicking noise coming from near the kitchen - went over there and there was this weird black beetle thing, crawling, and then suddenly jumping about 8" into the air, falling back onto the floor and bouncing (the double click) - and repeat. I've covered it in cardboard and trodden on it, don't know if it's squashed or not, it's very small! Apparently it's a small click beetle - oh joy!

I think you'd better start it THUMBWITCH
I'm far too drunk.

How about
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RUNNING ACROSS THE CARPET?

It's in other talk. Can't link from phone.

tomato I misread your post, shitthumbs is now my new favourite swear...

thumb thank you very much, that's wrapped it up nicely :)

I don't even want to know how you get shit thumbs will try and find new Fred and link for everyone.

new Fred here

Night kids x