Fictional characters who could have done with a good talking to

[MmeLindor]

Reading this this blog today and thinking that I would have included Donna Moss.

Donna could have done with realising that she was more than just a secretary, or admin assistant. By the end of Season 7, she'd escaped Josh's office and snagged herself a fab job, but wish it hadn't taken so long! Typical scene - in the CJ interview, where she says 'oh, but what do I know', I wanted to give her a good shake.

Who would you include?

Chris in Miss Saigon: don't you think it would have been an idea to check whether the love of your life was still alive before marrying someone else and fucking up her life as well?

Loving this thread, have reported to ask for it to be added to classics.

Dido: ditto, but really, did youneedto kill yourself over it?

Jeanne, get yourself Kate Elliott's Cold Magic trilogy; she has a much more satisfying re-telling of Dido and Aeneas and you might love it.

Fred, Velma, Daphne, and Shaggy. It's the guy in the mask. Every. Time. Stop falling for it.
Scooby your sense of smell is supposed to be several billion times better than the humans. How can you now know?

Ooo! I'm not Jeanne but will look out for the Cold magic books.

Hi everyone - we've had a lot of nominations to move this thread over to Classics, and we can understand why

We'll pop it over there now.

Thanks everyone!

Icimoi - that reminds me of another one.

Romeo - check for a pulse and signs of life before topping yourself. She is drugged but not dead and will wake up and find you dead.

Forrest Gump - Look for the menu. You can actually choose the flavour of chocolate you want. HTH.

I don't know about give a talking to, but I wanted to kick Jimmy Porter's head in.

The dad in The Tiger Who Came To Tea looked like a cool dude though. Wish he'd been my dad.

Richard Hannay - you know that mysterious evil svengali figure with the exotic background who is the baddie's guru when it comes to all things criminal and mastermind-ish? It's your mate Sandy in disguise. Infiltrating the enemy camp in a way that's impossible for even the greatest evil genius of the British Empire to spot. Yet again. He only does it in every single book.

Lord of the Flies
If you boys don't stop fighting, share the conch nicely and stop being mean to Piggy, you are all going to find yourselves on the naughty step! Your mothers would be ashamed of you behaving like that.

I can't believe no one has mentioned Frozen. Grandpa Troll with his 'Fear will be your enemy' shit. Couldn't he have been MORE specific then Elsa wouldn't have been locked in a room for 15 years and gone (understandably) a bit loopy, Ana wouldn't have been isolated and the whole thing could have been avoided.

Why not just say "why don't you teach her to use her powers for good,and definitely don't lock her in her room with gloves on"

Whoop! Classics.

I'm on holiday so will catch up later. We could do with offline saving function for overseas reading!

ancientbuchanan

Lily Dale. Oh get over it

A million times this ^

So agree about Dr Lydgate, AskBasil. Yeah, you married a really annoying woman. Maybe you could have tried getting to know her a bit first, maybe listening to what she said, rather than just going gaga because she happened to be blonde? It's not her fault you married her and FYI you're just as irritating to her.

Elsa's parents in Frozen = worst parents ever. Locking up your eldest child, the heir to the throne, is not a sustainable (let alone kind) solution to this problem.

Frozen video:

Watch this.

Wives and Daughters, the brilliant Elizabeth Gaskell ; But why make the dopey doctor remarry that pretty but narc. ex governess for god's sake.?
Think about your poor daughter. Oh and her poor daughter.

Great Expectations a pp already mentioned Miss Havisham but what about peculiar Pip who has social climbing pretensions, what's wrong with Biddy ?(I think that's her name) she's normal and lovely not like cold mad, Estella.

Grizel Cochrane - If you don't want to teach music, then don't. You're an adult woman, you can do what you like. Your stepmother is not a very nice woman, but it's time to stop taking your resentment out on everyone else.

Gwynneth Lloyd, aka Matey - Get a life.

Glad someone mentioned Lily Dale. I am just reading the Last chronicle of Barsetshire". Grab John Eames before someone else does!

Ilsa Lund in Casablanca. Just make up your mind love.

Tabitha Campbell-Black. Arrogant, entitled little madam. You may well have had a difficult childhood, but as an adult you do yourself no favours. No favours at all.

Lovely, HRH.

Romeo and Juliet you are 14 for God Sake! Take up a sport or if you must, spread it around.

All of Ian McEwans' early characters need to be tagged rather than spoken to eg. the one who was in love with a shop mannequin.

Molly Bloom - he is very long-winded, find someone else.

Alice (in Wonderland) - stay away from the LSD.

Hester Pynne - I know there's no contraception, but, have you heard of the duck? (duck in and duck out again) or the billings method? they are very sanctimonious hereabouts.

Chiyo Sakamoto (memoirs of a Geisha) - he's a glorified John.

Little Match girl - "come in to the fire".

Knights of the Round Table - have you considered the YMCA?

Sir Gawain and the Green knight have a fairly risque act on Saturday nights.