If you fart in the bath

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

Are you washing in poo particles?

[Bouttimeforwine]

But how can you hold it in? Sometimes I can, other times I have no warning, other times I try but it is impossible.

I really think some people are designed differently to others.

Years ago, as a student in halls, I remember someone being disgusted with us all, as she never ever farted. Years later I heard a small one pop out. The astonishment on her face was priceless.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

Am I the only one not on farting acquaintance with my partner?

Perhaps you're a sleep farter?

[Memphisbelly]

My mum had one bit of advice for me when I met dh, never hold a fart in in front of him, I held farts in for 25 years for your dad to leave and now I regret not farting on his head

[TheFairyCaravan]

Memphis

I've been married to DH for 20 years, we both know we fart so neither of us are going to hold it in while we shuffle off to do it elsewhere!

[WhistlingPot]

Loving those MrsBolden.

"Whoops I trod on a frog" is a frequent utterance in our house. I will now be tabling the additional use of "duck" to differentiate between croaks and quacks.

Ta muchly

[Memphisbelly]

Thefairycaravan I am pretty sure my dad actually believes women don't fart! He has never seen him second wife without full make up (she wakes an hour before him to apply it) so I doubt she is the farting kind

[Frogisatwat]

A lot of people say how do you hold it in. .. would you let rip in a job interview ?
however I did a lot more than fart in the delivery suite in front of three people

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

A job interview lasts half an hour. I spend days at a time with my DH

[Bogeyface]

I remember when I had DD1 I had terrible constipation and wind. At my 20 week scan I really needed to fart, it was awful and you could actually see the gas bubble up and down on my scan! Even Ex could see it and he admitted that he struggle to work out what was what on the scan!

I wanted to say to the scanner "you know I need to fart, you can see it, just hurry up!" :o

[Tipsykisses]

I know i will regret setting this secret free but I'm giggling so much I think it's only fair I should share .

Dp and I had a very rare date night with dc sleeping at grandparents , much wine & curry was consumed and we ran up to bed as soon as we got home .
Dp was in the most unfortunate position as I felt the curry gasses bubbling in my tummy and I tried so hard to hold it in but as the moment became to much out it came straight into his face!!!!
His face popped up all wrinkled and disgusted I couldn't help but laugh and he caught another blast !!!!
OMG he's never let me live it down !!!
I still laugh my head off and remind of all the times in 20 odd years he's farted on me thinking it's hilarious ... Apparently it's not the same ?????

[DontVexMeYeah]

Tipsy that's hilarious

I've found I have got a lot better at trumping after having DCs, they're not quite as quiet as before.

DD has always been a bit of a windy baby. She's now 18m and cracks up laughing every time she pops one out.

[essentialbabyland]

I have a little poo tale to tell about farts in the bath...! My two daughters (who were three and eighteen months at the time) were being bathed together by their father. (Daddy's playtime!). Suddenly, according to my eldest daughter, her younger sister farted in the bath, but unfortunately a large brown rather solid poo appeared and started to floated on top of the water. Of course, screams could be heard at the bottom of our road. Their daddy immediately picked up the youngest and took her out of the bathroom and left my eldest frantically trying to push the offending poo away... She says that it seemed a life time before she was able to get out of the bath as the poo was absolutely fixed on floating straight at her.

She is now in her thirties and she still as not forgotten that. She was disgusted with her Daddy for leaving her in the bath especially as it was her sister's poo.

Needless to say, we all think it's hilarious...

[HemlockStarglimmer]

MrsBoldon

"What's that Sweep?"

Now I'm crying with laughter. Now I wish I wasn't a decade older than my husband as he won't get it!

[Trueshoefreak]

OMG I'm dying with laughter. The comments have made my afternoon

[NutellaLawson]

Re the question about the smell stronger in the shower: they aren't stronger. It's the warm humid air makes the smell receptors in your nose more sensitive.
It's the sabre train you get that unique 'after the rain' smell after a summer shower. That's how the streets always smell but your nose isn't sensitive enough unless it's warm and humid air.

[Brams]

I used to have a flight attendant friend who stayed at our house between flights and flew with him on one occasion. There they all were, he and his colleagues, gliding up and down the cabin, smiling and immaculate. Once in the car home afterwards all the windows had to be open as every single one of them farted like bullfrogs. Apparently the pressure at 36,000ft means you can keep 'em in, but once back at ground level they gotta go.

If I was home when he came in it was like gunfire all down the hall and if I was expecting him but gone to work I'd leave the burglar alarm off as the farts inevitably brought poo too and he needed to move FAST!

Brilliant thread, now know all sorts of stuff I'd never heard of or seen.

[Brams]

BTW my cats never seem to fart. Their poo smells unspeakable and the smell travels fast and far but they never seem to produce farts. Any ideas?

[HavanaSlife]

Ds3 3 years does the worst farts, he then has to say poo trump stinks after every time. That will be fun when he starts nursery in september.

[lugwump]

gamerchick I don't know how it is in your household but in ours we sleep in bed and defaecate in the toilet.

Our farts are entirely gaseous.

[Oakmaiden]

I recall farting on one particular occasion in front of my then 3 year old son. He looked up, all bemused, and said "Was that a motorbike Mummy?"

Or there was the occasion I accidentally passed wind at school (I was a TA) and walked away, leaving a group of children all blaming one another...

[VikingLady]

Our cats fart, but very rarely. When they do though - it's horrific! I have had to leave the room and still couldn't sit in there several hours later! I think the farts are so infrequent because they are waiting for a really toxic one.

[Brams]

I agree VikingLady, am quite convinced that mine save terrible poo stench up deliberately to cause maximum embarrassment in front of visitors etc. Junior cat rushes into sitting room in morning and yells at me which means I have to go and get rid of poo, fortunately trays are in downstairs loo but I have to take huge pearl diver standard breath before going in there with the scoop.

Same as small children really, there is an element of pride there. Little sods.

[AGnu]

DS (2.5) did a huge fart the other day. He gawped at me in utter amazement before breathing "What was that NOISE?" I very calmly asked if it was his bottom, he agreed it was & carried on playing. DH said he was glad he wasn't in the room because he'd have died laughing. I did have to leave the room shortly after... Goodness only knows what DS thought the weird muffled snorts coming from the next room were!

[ElectricalBanana]

I think it was on mumsnet a long time ago a thread where a new mum was panicking because she had farted near her babies face and was in a stew imagining her baby was breathing in poo particles.

I always remember that thread... I wonder how the baby is now..

[Bouttimeforwine]

you've made the round up...