School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

[PacificDogwood]

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome

Come on, then, AMillion, contribute

'independent' - will not do as bloody well told
'spirited' - pain in the tonsils

There must be more, surely??

DS is considered a role model by other children= DS leads others into mayhem!
One if my standard lines is "X is always eager to contribute to class discussions"= X has to be reminded that other children want o get a word in at some point this morning.

Exuberant ... Won't calm down!

Dd is always 'keen to participate in group discussions' and is 'an enthusiastic member of the class' and 'enjoys contributing her ideas'.

In other words, she likes the sound of her own voice and never bloody shuts up.

Lively - unable to sit in chair and do any work
Child z has produced some satisfactory this year - I can't find any else positive to say about your child. They are lazy and badly behaved but I have to start with a positive.
Polite and quite - has little personality

Fingers crossed nobody recognises these.

See, that's the kind of stuff I was after

"confident" - a bit prococcious

Good grief, how many 'c's in 'precocious'?

Ooh watching with interest. Dd gets her report next week.

X is keen to take on responsibility around the school = X bosses younger children in the playground while being a 'play leader' or X leaps up all the time to volunteer to get the register/ collect photocopying/ open the door in order to avoid working.

I may get banned from the teachers equivalent of the Magic Circle for revealing these

Dynamic = noisy little fecker

That was a crossed post with Queen .

These are a few I use (secondary teacher)
Frequent contributor to class discussions - never shuts up
Lively member of class - has never stayed in seat for an entire lesson
a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends - no matter who I sit them next to they will chat
Confident - convinced their opinion is more important than anyone else's

After an activity holiday I got 'Enjoyed the chance to use her leadership skills to great advantage'.

Translation-bossy little madam!

a very popular pupil with a wide circle of friends

I like that one

As a parent (I am not a teacher), I'd really rather not have to do the decoding and would be more than prepared to hear my darling offspring chatted/did not sit still/needed help with concentrating at the task at hand etc.

The only remotely critical comment I have ever read about any of mine (all in primary school still) was along the lines of 'needs to work on his handwriting' - yes, it still is near illegible

I got 'WestmorlandSausage is an enigma.' on a report from my sixth form head of year.

On the one hand its pretty direct... if I was an alternative type student. I wasn't, I was a pretty ordinary, average student who had some extra curricular activities that occasionally meant I didn't get homework in on time. WTAF was she getting at? Any suggestions? Was I actually the the weird kid they couldn't figure out?

When written about a NT child: X prefers to work with adult support= I need to sit next to X to get them to put pencil to paper.

Sorry!

I have two under three's, but i remember getting

"Million is very enthusiastic" - translated to "she never bloody sits still!

I wish our teachers would write in code. DS1 looks awful on paper

Shatner, that's interesting: so teachers don't have to word everything positively??

It would bloody kill me to not be able to say 'Your PFB needs to learn some manners' - yes, I am no loss to the teaching profession!

Is able, with encouragement, to contribute some good ideas to class discussion: tuned in to what we were talking about once in six months and finally answered one question when really, really pushed.

He's been called lazy on more than one report. It's a fair cop, if a little dispiriting...

Today I was sorting out some old school stuff and found some sort of class-building activity of DD2's class from two years ago - a little handmade booklet where each person in the class, including the two main teachers, had to write something nice about each child. I hadn't seen it before, and it's mortifying.

Teacher 1: I like the way you have an honest and clear way of expressing yourself = you're a bit of a mouthy nightmare
...and how you are friendly and supportive with a sense of fun = you and your mates back each other up when you're making mischief

Teacher 2: I like your sharp-sightedness = you notice it straight away when we screw up
...and your ability to deal with subjects sensitively that most people avoid = there's a very good reason most people avoid them, could you not learn from that?
...and your humorous perspective on things = no, that particular subject is never going to be funny!

.

Most definitely not in code, I once got
"cakes seems to spend much of her time watching what I am doing with mine"
(I was bright and bored!)