School report 'code' - which ones have you spotted/do you know about?

[PacificDogwood]

Here is my favourite one from when DS2 was 6 (P2 in Scotland):

"DS2 has a very well developed sense of fairness."

Really? I thought, does he? I've never noticed.

Until I realised it translated in to "DS2 feels hard done by very, very easily". That I had noticed

Any other examples? Contributions from teachers also welcome

[Homebird8]

"Homeboy (11) is well-read with a wide world view and unless I am teaching him to be more organised there is no point him being in school" = this is the most frustrating child I have ever met who knows more than me, has learned it in his own time and of his own volition and I will punish him by making him tidy his desk and shouting at him to bring him into line.

[Homebird8]

Sorry, lighthearted thread and I've exploded. Thanks for ignoring my rant.

Is got in one of my own school reports "Homebird attends". Can't tell if they were relieved or incredulous.

[ladygracie]

I couldn't read my classes individual reports after i'd written them so am worried I repeated myself. There may be a parent wondering why I felt the need to tell them 3 times that they work hard or join in discussions well.
Just to say though - if I say they join in discussions well, it is because they do. It doesn't mean they never shut up at all. It is definitely possible to read too much into reports!

[cloutiedumpling]

I'm off to re-read the DSs' reports. With fresh eyes.

[User100]

I teach in secondary and have to right UCAS references;
"Very popular and outgoing" = always bloody talks
"X is an able but is yet to reach his/her potential" = bright but needs to do some f*ing work
"Fiercely independent" = tries to teach herself and can't
"Attends most lessons/hands in most homework on time" = doesn't a significant amount of the time

[Goldmandra]

DD is very puzzled as to how she made a good effort in PHSE, since she's excused to do exta English.

We had similar.

"Minigold needs to take a more active role in class discussions".

That means that you have no idea who she is because she's never been timetabled to attend one of your lessons you plank!

I was soooo tempted to go and see him at parents' evening but DD wouldn't let me.

[User100]

"...has made good progress on his organisational skills this year" = by the end of the year he mostly brought the right books to class

[Oblomov]

can't wait to get the ds's reports. will be reading with newly opened eyes!!

[lecherrs]

I'm a teacher so immediately spotted the code in my DDs report. Unfortunately I fear that having "xx is an enthusiastic and bright pupil who is incredibly excited..." In paragraph one followed by "XX is an excitable and happy member of the class" does not bode well. = does not shut up

Paragraph 2, "xx is an excellent team player but must remember to let everyone have their input" alongside "XX's next steps are to let others lead occasionally" and "xx is developing the skills to problem solve in her friendships" = bossy little madam.

Paragraph 3 "XX thrived as XXXX in our KS1 nativity and I hope more acting opportunities present themselves to her" = drama queen.

So my DD is a bossy little prima Donna who always like to have her own way. But she is also "a pleasure to teach" so she's a likeable bossy little Prima Donna

[trinity0097]

Best piece I ever got given as a new teacher was to be honest and give specific examples in reports, so I have written (and it cured the problems)...

• x prefers to start the lesson with the bin lid on his head, this is rather distracting for those around him.
  

• x makes little Britain noises whenever I turn to write something on the board.
  

The last one was fab, some year 8 kids decided that they wanted to start doing it a week before the reports were going out. I threatened to write it on their reports if they didn't stop, they didn't think I would. Reports went out next day I had 6 apology letters!

[AwkwardSquad]

I had a great one towards the end of high school: 'Awkward would be a leading light of French class. If she showed up.' My mum was dead impressed.

[CauldronOfFrogsLegs]

Love this thread. Can't wait for this years reports. It has ben a ...Ricky...year for ds1!

[Notquiteallthereyet]

I remember my first parent teacher meeting 3 month into DD first year of primary schooling (she had just turned six):

I came in, the (brilliant) teacher looked at me and very slowly said:

"Firstname, ..... Firstname Lastname .... a very special character..."

-and I knew I was doomed.

[PacificDogwood]

Homebird, I hear where you are coming from, truly, I do. I hope your DS still 'gets' something out of school? Socially, maybe?

ladygracie, I am actually relieved to hear that not everything is code . I am not terribly good at picking up nuances (I need to be told that a spade is a spade) which is why the remark mentioned in my OP puzzled me for a while

These are all brilliant - I can almost see all your lovely children in my mind's eye .

[OwlCapone]

A lot of the codes are only really noticeable if you know your child well. For the first 5 years of primary, DS1s basically said he was loud, opinionated and doesn't shut up. I knew my son so spotted it immediately!

[OwlCapone]

The secondary school reports seem rather more straightforward "DS2 should bear in mind that clowns prosper only in the circus"

[Prettykitty111]

I once had in a school report pretty is very charismatic and finds it easy to influence others.
My best friend the same year got prettys friend is easily influenced and should work on making herself heard.
Code we know pretty is the ringleader for all the shit thats happened this year we just can't prove it. Oh and we'll be separating them next year!

Sme of these are brilliant

[Homebird8]

Thank you so much PacificDogwood. You have no idea how much that meant.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Dd is usually a "very determined child".

[SonorousBip]

My DS had "cheerful" used several times when in primary. DH and I always suspected it meant "lovely, polite and a weeny bit dim but we like him".

To be fair I did ask one teacher at parents' evening - when she used it again - what she really meant by it and straight off she said "oh, reliably good natured: some of the class are a bit.. erm.. dramatic and he never is".

I still think our interpretation is the correct one

[PsammeadPaintedTheLion]

Dd1 has only had one report as such except it was a parent's evening and not written.

They utterly assassinated her. It was all negative. Then at the end her teacher piped up 'mind you, she has excellent posture'.

[thepurplepenguin]

Minipp can also be very helpful around the classroom when he wants to be

[SaucyJack]

DD1 reluctantly participates in PE was my fav. No code breaking skills needed there.