To ask you to tell me a story where your DC have humiliated you...

[HuskyBlueEyes]

Its 12am, i'm not tired and curious as to what lovely things your DC have done/said which is resulted in severe cringing on your behalf...

4 yr DS announced to the till lady today that she was a "pretend lady because ladies don't have face hair..."

He asked me the other day why I didn't have facial hair like dad and I said women don't get it. This till lady did have a rather noticeable amount of upper lip hair and I packed the items with rather flushed cheeks after a quiet apology. She wasn't very amused, and luckily DS picked up on her facial expression and avoided anymore talking... The shame.

In a lift with DD aged about 3. Large lady enters. Suddenly in an extremely loud voice DD announces. mummy that lady has a massive arse.... Not even bum but arse. I could have died.

Forgot to add Ds3 - who chose the 1 hour where he was visiting the nusery he would be attending to utter
'for fucks sake'
He'd never swore before, other than words we said at home in earshot of Dc, which were very mild and certainly never any with fuck.
I have a feeling my much younger sisters played a part in this :)

I was mortified but the 2 teachers had to turn away while they pissed themselves laughing. :)

DS was a late talker and we were a bit despairing. His first multiword setence was in the alcohol section in Sainbos. He yelled out really loudly 'Look Mummy.... fosters ! '

More recently he told his nursery teachers, the lady at the Co-op, our friend's mother and [wrings neck] his father 'mummy crashed the car'. (It was only a little bump and I was hoping to keep it quiet. )

I took my ds out to a very posh garden center last christmas he was one. He had been an absolute angel until we found the christmas section i think the trees and ornaments and silly dancing bears were just too much to bear.

I bumped into some friends who i hadnt seen since college i said hello they both had babies with them i said hello to the babies my friend then said is that your son pointing behind me.

My son who i assumed couldnt get into mischief as he was in his buggy managed to as we all turned around kick a christmas tree over which was about 8 foot tall and full of letters to father christmas into a man who happened to be walking by and knocked him on the floor. My ds then said 'wow' and clapped himself while laughing at the man.

I just said to my friends yes this is my baby before quickly excusing myself to pick up the man, the tree and the millions of letters from father christmas to children that were all over the floor. Luckily the man thought it was funny i was mortified...but it does make me chuckle now

When I was little my father and I were on the bus to town. For some reason and in a very loud voice I suddenly asked him: "DAAAAD, WHAT'S ABORTION?"

My DS1 aged 3 decided to have a flash at the vicar at our local play group, right in front of the altar. This is a week before he weed on a mat, also in front of the altar, as everyone was getting ready for story time. I tried to mop it up and claim it was juice. No such luck. He piped up
"Mummy it's not juice, it's wee, I've had an accident"

It's a wonder we weren't struck down by lightning...

My dh was caught out by dd, then aged 2.5. When he's stressed quite often rushing to get to work in the am he mutters 'for god's sake' not quite under his breath. He was just about to lose his temper one morning and dd looked at him, and said with glee 'is it god's sake daddy?' he's been more cheery in the morning ever since then! Dd still loves saying 'god's sake' with relish.

This thread is sooo funny! It's got to go in classics. I've pissed myself laughing at this so many times today...:)

We wnt to the coffee morning at our local methodist church last Saturday. DH has met the minister before, I haven't and was politely chatting to him.....until DS (4) sneezes and runs up to me, wiping a long line of green snot down the length of my knee length red coat - literally more than 30 cm long. I didn't know that his nose could hold so much shot. The minister was polite and tried not to notice as I furiously scrubbed at my coat saying "how goodness sake DS, NO! You know you don't do that, you ask for a tissue". I could have throttled him.

The toddler who demonstrated to an entire waiting room full of people how mummy used a sample pot in the bathroom.

They were very amused. Me? Not so much.

In a car being driven by my brother in law my dd1, aged 7 at the time, proceeded to tell BIL that mummy was naughty nikki and didnt wear knickers!

BIL thought it was hilarious. Mummy however didn't: especially as it wasnt true!!!

DS1 used to get his pronouns mixed up and announced loudly in a nice dress shop "Mummy, you've done a poo!". Also, he stank the place out.

One from me when I was little - aged about 7, I stood behind my DM in the kitchen who didn't realise I was there. She tore off some cling film, and accidentally hit me with the box as she did so - black eye and a little cut from the serrated bit!

Of course I told all my teachers and peers at school that 'Mummy hit me in the eye...'

Jess

I had come of a slightly ill-tempered phone call with my DH, DS1 was playing quietly in the corner and I heard him mutter to himself "Mummy Daddy Oh for God's sake"

Dd2 once opened a toilet door, which opened on to a full cafe, whilst i was sat having a pee. All I could do was wave, and never return again.

When she was about 4 she texted a photo of her foof, which she took with my phone to a lady I barely knew who just happened to be the first person my contact list.

Just makes you cringe doesn't it? Sometimes they observe more about us than we do!

DS2 (age 4) got stroppy when asked to leave a pub garden and shouted "I'm trying to put my FUCKING shoes on".

I blame the builders nextdoor

Still laughing...:)

"Look at the fat man!" clear as a bell, from three year old DD as we sat on the seafront and a larger lady walked past.

The local barbers charges adult fees once the kids are over 12 - it's nearly double and they don't take cards ... I forgot DS1 had turned 13 the previous week, hadn't got enough cash, tried to pass him off as still 12 and was resoundingly outed by DS2 who pointed out loudly and insistantly that DS1 was actually 13 ...

" And how could you have forgotten, Mum, 'cos you complained a lot about his party ... "

Aaaargh. Cringe. Never went back.

we were in one of those small town clothes shops that sells everything

I had sent ds1 in to try on some school trousers, dd was impatient to get home, (she is the diva of the piece btw) , ds2 in his buggy, I am harassed.

Old ladies are milling about looking at pastel twin sets
Other mothers are looking at school stuff
And the hero of the scene is a very tall black guy who saunters up to the counter to get sizes explained, he was buying stuff for his wife.

it is a very small town NE Scotland, so this guy is not your usual floral blouse buyer.

DS1 is still trying on the school trousers, and DD suddenly clocks this guy and yells "Sam, Sam.....hurry up..... Ainsley Harriot is here come and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Cue hysterical laughter from everyone and me lamely explaining about Ainsley Harriot and Ready Steady Cook.

Aged about 4 and walking hand in hand down the street with my mum, an Old English Sheepdog passed us and I yelled "Look! It's a Durex Dog".

I've told this story before, but out for a nice meal with several other families in Pizza Express. I needed to go to the loo, and left DS with the others. He managed to escape and stood at the top of the stairs bellowing down at me "Are you going for a wee or a poo, mummy? A wee or a poo, mummy? MUMMY, A WEE OR A POO?" There was a group of about 10 people trying to make their way up the stair as I tried to get down, with this running commentary echoing round the restaurant.

This is a sibling story, my parents went on to have 2 more children when my brother and I were teenagers/tweenagers.

I'm 18, with a new boyfriend, Darren, I though he was really cool and gorgeous, he had long hair and a Beetle.

He knocks on the door, we are going out. My 2 little brothers (5 and 3)run to the door, Darren's hair is catching the setting sun. My little brother pipes up What's your name?

"Darren"

My brother crinkles his nose, confused by this strange man with long hair.

'Have you got a willy or a womb?"

I give an evil glare, which provokes hysteria and both boys go round screeching "willy or womb, willy or womb, willy or womb" hahaha Dareen goes a deep purple colour

I nearly died

My sister loudly announced on a quiet bus 'I have a wedgie!' when she was about two