WWYD? I am NOT a stalker. I am just waiting for my train!

[OooohHorlicks]

So for three days a week I take a train to work. I stand on the platform and wait for the train and don’t really register anything or anyone. I vaguely stand behind a couple that also wait for the train because they stand in the place where the door stops, and it is just in my nature to form a queue.

Anyway this week I was gazing into space and noticed that the woman in front of me kept gesturing towards me. So I tuned in. “I just hate it”, she says to the man. “She always stands behind us.” "Arse, she’s got a point", I think. And I can see how it must be totally disconcerting, but I never really saw it as standing behind them, just as standing where the doors stop, and they usually get to the platform first.

So the following day I resolved to stand to the side of them rather than behind and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she had marched further down the platform with the man. Fair enough, I think. Problem solved – you don’t like it, then move. Wait for the train. I turn my head to see it as it pulls in and she is looking at me laughing, and then giving the man a triumphant laugh.

Now I am slightly torn. On the one hand I am thinking she needs to get a life / grip / perspective, is obviously very petty, and for three or four minutes in a morning I am quite happy to ignore the ridiculous behaviour and stand where I please. On the other hand I can actually see why it would be disconcerting to have a random standing behind you every day and I feel slightly aggrieved at being held out to be a stalker when I am barely able to function and just unthinkingly doing what I always do.

So what do I do? It’s a small station and a short train, only 4 carriages. I could wait further along to get on one of the other carriages but they are either ones with a toilet on (grim) or high risk in terms of getting / not getting a seat. But I can’t really be doing with this every morning. I just want a quiet life. Hopefully they will just continue to wait further down the platform but if they get there before me I suspect they will make a point of waiting in their usual space.

So what would you do? Apart from tell me to worry about something worth worrying about?

Whatever you do, you absolutely HAVE TO stand behind them next time. Don't let them win!

Cut eyes out from a box like this?

Stalking for dummies:) that is genius:)

Stand where you like. If its a small village and presumably you are mostly on nodding acquaintance with people its very odd. And you stand where the train door goes.

Maybe she thinks you fancy her partner. Tip him the wink next time:)

She sounds barking mad to me. You either ignore everyone and pretend you are totally alone, play on your phone thereby avoiding all eye contact or chat. I never noticed anyone when I commuted, unless they were very good looking:)

Ignore and play on your phone, you know, with a live update, maybe twitter also:) you could go viral..

Although how close do you stand? Can she feel your breath?:)

How about getting a photo of them (using any of the ways mentioned here) then printing it on a big piece of cardboard - to make a cardboard stand of them. Then sneak into the station an hour before the train and put it in their spot.

Then the next day, put a cardboard stand of you behind them.

Or.... What do you look like? I'm sure we could find half a dozen MNers who look like you, to dress identically to you and stand on the platform all over it. We could even have a couple planted on the train in advance...

Haha this thread is brilliant! So many good ideas, paranoid lady won't know what hit her!

Alpaca I like it. Pleasantly surreal.

Ok, I love this thread (sorry op!)

I think you should play along with it, next time she makes eye contact: hold 2 fingers in a "v" to your parted lips and do a wild tongue flicker.

Or secretly follow her home, and stand silently at her window, gently head butting the glass.

Get something really subtle with her face on. Like one of these...

Sorry OP, am cracking up laughing at the suggestions here. Give her no heed, pretend to be busy on your phone or something, and stand where you want to!

Loving your work MN.

OP, you have to out weird the hair swishy gobshite, we're all depending on you.

Ahh this is like the thread where it was a quiet country lane and one woman kept refusing to reverse to the passing place. Love it.

If she challenges you simply don't engage. Then she'll look like a fantasist

It's valentine's day soon. You definitely need to give him or her a card. Signed in blood.

I LOVE MUMSNET!

This thread is not helping me in my quest to get DD2 to sleep - but then it probably is a little difficult to get to sleep if the lap you are lying on is shaking with laughter

I thought standing in the exact same spot while studiously ignoring everyone else is what you are meant to do when commuting. DH and I used to commute together when I was pg with DD1 - we studiously ignored everyone (including each other most of the time - I am only capable of reading or knitting before 9am, not speech) and they ignored us. Until the day I took a day off work and 5 different people (strangers to us, which is tricky enough in our small town) stopped him to ask if I'd had the baby yet.... but then it's small town Ireland, if you can't talk about a funeral you might as well see if there's a new baby you can talk about

This has made me laugh Op. Thanks
I do love the disguise idea

I would...
Get there early and stand in her spot.

If she says anything further, turn round with your best puzzled/patronising expression and say 'you do know this is where the doors open, right?'
Then do a double take and wince (the bared teeth hissed intake of breath kind) and hand her a tissue, saying 'You've got a, um...'

Quality thread

OP, did you ever watch Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow? They used to play a game where they each had to lay giant stickers of their own faces on unsuspecting passers bys' backs, without the person noticing. I think this situation would be an ideal time to try such a fun game out for yourself. Flicky Hair sounds like she could do with a laugh

Ah man, that bogey idea is GENIUS Giraffes. Please, please, please do that...

Or signal to her general lower half, as if her skirt's tucked in her pants....

This thread, right here, is why I am so obsessed with Mumsnet.

Please do the stalking for dummies book. That is genius.
This thread is really making my laugh

Unashamedly bookmarking.

(She's at best, naive. At worst, an attention seeking drama llama loon)

Keep standing where you normally stand. If you move down the platform it will look like you are moving to where they now stand. If you stay where you always have been it is obvious you are there for the door, not for them.

Personally, I'd make a point of standing where they stand from now on. Tell your DH it doesn't count as stalking until you stand in front of their house.

She probably gets the train with her husband to work every day just so she can ridicule any woman she feels insecure about

Blatanty marking my place

You could try wearing something eye-catching and when she keeps looking say 'Why are you always staring at me? Are you some kind of weirdo stalker?' All said very loudly so the whole platform can hear, then move down the platform saying (loudly) how odd she is.

She'll be mortified and if she says anything say 'I''ve heard you both talking about me and I'm not interested ok! I'm married!!!! '
She will never bother you again!!!!!