WWYD? I am NOT a stalker. I am just waiting for my train!

[OooohHorlicks]

So for three days a week I take a train to work. I stand on the platform and wait for the train and don’t really register anything or anyone. I vaguely stand behind a couple that also wait for the train because they stand in the place where the door stops, and it is just in my nature to form a queue.

Anyway this week I was gazing into space and noticed that the woman in front of me kept gesturing towards me. So I tuned in. “I just hate it”, she says to the man. “She always stands behind us.” "Arse, she’s got a point", I think. And I can see how it must be totally disconcerting, but I never really saw it as standing behind them, just as standing where the doors stop, and they usually get to the platform first.

So the following day I resolved to stand to the side of them rather than behind and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she had marched further down the platform with the man. Fair enough, I think. Problem solved – you don’t like it, then move. Wait for the train. I turn my head to see it as it pulls in and she is looking at me laughing, and then giving the man a triumphant laugh.

Now I am slightly torn. On the one hand I am thinking she needs to get a life / grip / perspective, is obviously very petty, and for three or four minutes in a morning I am quite happy to ignore the ridiculous behaviour and stand where I please. On the other hand I can actually see why it would be disconcerting to have a random standing behind you every day and I feel slightly aggrieved at being held out to be a stalker when I am barely able to function and just unthinkingly doing what I always do.

So what do I do? It’s a small station and a short train, only 4 carriages. I could wait further along to get on one of the other carriages but they are either ones with a toilet on (grim) or high risk in terms of getting / not getting a seat. But I can’t really be doing with this every morning. I just want a quiet life. Hopefully they will just continue to wait further down the platform but if they get there before me I suspect they will make a point of waiting in their usual space.

So what would you do? Apart from tell me to worry about something worth worrying about?

Does no one think it's weird that they've all even noticed each other in the first place? Shouldn't they all be completely glued to their phones like everyone on my (southern) platform?

Tshirt idea

You should get some binoculars and a notepad, stand at the other end of the platform, glance through the binoculars and then when she looks, make notes :o

Stand really close to her, touch her arm and say in a loud whisper 'Excuse me? I can't help noticing there's something odd about your aura... have you considered having the priest round to do an exorcism?'

get(borrow) a go pro camera fix it in a bag and film them, then up load it to you tube so we can all see them being weird.

Or write a description of them, make lots of official warning sign a bit like this with mentions of goats, confidence tricksters and a missing diamond, please phone 001(202) 278-2000

Get a friend to get on the train a few stops up, and put them up, when you get on the train (same carriage as them) keep looking up at the signs, and then over at them.

Best thread ever!

I particularly like the idea of making every single t-shirt suggestion on this thread, carrying them around with me and changing into one to suit my mood or response.

I can see suspected stalking being the least of my worries then.

Isn't that the thing about commuting? The same people getting the same transport the same time each day? She sounds petty. And pathetic. I would ignore. AND stand behind her.

Get one of those disposable cameras.

Take photos with it in your pocket. All she'll hear is 'click' and the coggy windey 'wirrrrr, wirrr, wirrr' noise as you load up for the next photo. Obviously stopping when she turns round to see who's taking her photo.

This'll require dexterous fingers and very deep pocket with possible handbag for extra coverage.

....I was going to say make sure it's not one of those one's that actually has a flash but thinking about it, it might be extra fun to let her catch you 'click' the button when she's turned around and let her see the flash in your pocket - that'll shift her.

Stand next to her and say good morning in a cheery voice, every day, then proceed to talk about the weather. If you are in the SE/London make eye contact while you do this. Or even funnier, direct your hello at her DP, with a smile. Make sure you wear red lipstick. It would be interesting to see what happens. She does sounds utterly absurd. Or just stand closely next to them every day and watch them move further down the platform each day, and think of it as a game.

OMG she is a loon. Keep standing in the same spot. I love the ideas here, chalk a box with an x and stand in it with your biscuits and disguises, it could be an epic post and become a classic on MN.

Am loving the fake phone call ideas, you have to do one of those!!

TheZeeTeam that is actually the funniest thing I've ever read on the internet ever. I am actually crying with laughter and my DH is shaking his head.

Stand behind them wearing a chicken suit

I worked at a station. she is being stupid. people have specific places that they stand every morning. I could walk onto platform amd I'd know where to expect regular customers.

sometimes on my days off if i had to catch the train I'd stand in the horrible people's places just to annoy them!! their faces were like this...

Bonkers, I remember the day I cracked exactly where to stand so that the train doors opened right in front of me, in order that I could get out of those same doors in the exact spot at the other end where the footbridge started. Perfectamondo! Don't let the Scary Lady take that away from you

Don't let the Scary Lady take that away from you

Hilarious!

I am in awe at how many of you have such well thought through freakout pieces!!

But really. As if commuting on filthy, sweaty trains in the rain wasn't miserable enough. It's not even as if I want to be there. No-one does! Oh the injustice.

Next time stand right infront of them. Like an inch infront and totally invade their personal space.

Give it 10 seconds, turn around, smile sweetly and say "I heard you say how you hate me standing behind you, is this better?"

VivaLeBeaver Fri 31-Jan-14 20:33:01
Next time stand right infront of them. Like an inch infront and totally invade their personal space.
Give it 10 seconds, turn around, smile sweetly and say "I heard you say how you hate me standing behind you, is this better?"

Buy a skin coloured ear peice with a wound up cable and put it in your ear. Then talk mysteriously into your collar like you are in the secret Service . Use the phonetic alaphabet but use the wrong words " Mama Peter 7 to Hello Irene 5 come in Roger Dodger ".
Wear a pin on your lapel of large garish costume jewelry and they will think its a spy camera.
This will either confirm you are a certified loon , or they might think your are Janice Bond , licenced to thrill.
Or go dressed as afull on clown, everybody loves a clown, with a squirty flower and huge shoes.

Oh I would walk past them next time and say to the guy, "Psst, you still up for it tonight?" and walk on.

I like this thread very much. Please do all of these things over the course of the next couple of months and see if you can break her.

Oh pleeze just get yourself two decent vampire teeth. Then, next time they snigger at you, just discretely chew your lip.

Stand where she can see you and when she looks in your direction slowly lick your lips and wink at her.