To Kick These People Out #2

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1963190-To-kick-these-people-out?msgid=44535428 Original
thread]]

Summary anyone? :)

Chris, can I come too?

I can offered DS's amazing negotiating skills (where he asks the same question again and again and again and again punctuated by blasts on the sodding yellow recorder they gave away free on the front of the flaming Thomas the Tank Engine magazine) I usually take about an hour to break and I'm hardened. I reckon he'll have them out in about 15 mins
I could also possibly bring two pipe bands and I know someone with a shitload of wallabies who might be interested

i want to come - can bring a 6yo, a selection of animals and a stack of abandoned furniture that i was going to get the council to collect but i'm sure it'll be welcome in your field.

it'll be a bit like the reclaim the streets party days of my youth only reclaim the field instead.

Actually if the two pipes bands are coming we could probably rope in a third as well

How about terrier racing? The dogs love it and the dogs entered to chaos caused ratio is massive, I can't imagine UW hanging about with that going on.

"Shitload of wallabies" you say? I'm listening...

Terrier racing is hilarious, we can arrange that. And why have 2 pipe bands when you can have three? But please forgive my ignorance, if three pipe bands turn up, doesn't that just make one bigger pipe band? Or is that forbidden?

Numpty it can go on the bonfire :)

I could bring my mums Leonberger. We could pretend he's a little pony. He could give rides to small children.

ah yes the bonfire! fab.

Bonfires? Then you need ds pyromaniac in the making

and possibly me (well he got the genes form somewhere)

Three pipe bands and drummers? That would be massed pipes and drums. This is starting to sound more like a Tattoo or a Games than a Festival. Do you have some cabers to hand, and a hill for the race?

I don't want to come because I hate crowds!

it has just occurred to me i could bring several of my more challenging year 11s along to confuse the woman by swearing at her and then when asked not to swear screaming, 'was i fucking swearing though?? was i? am i fucking swearing????'. they are very persistent and will argue day is night with her for hours if she so desires.

Numpty, they sound a delight

Tiredoutgran, just pop in for a civilised cuppa the day before the rabble mumsnetters arrive :)

Abz, no real hills I'm afraid. There's a little mound. Will that do?

Pyromaniacs all welcome.

Leonberger eh? That reminds me of ds1 when he was small. A lady was walking by with 2 Great Danes and he pointed and said "horse". He wouldn't believe me that they were dogs.

Aaaargh! Chris no, the thing is there would be 3 bass drummers and each of the bass drums have the band's name on it so it would obviously be 3 bands. Deary, deary,me [shakes head]

Just out of interest how big is your field? Can we all get on together or do you need help drawing up a rota?

oh I'm terribly sorry!

I suppose it depends on how well the shelter converts into a stage really. We'll have to play it by ear a bit.

I've gone back and read the whole thread and I think we might be heading for the first MN wide asbo

Chris, in real life how are you getting on with getting them out? Are they being more reasonable?

If you are having terriers would you like me to bring our ferrets, one does a fab impersonation of a rug, another thinks he is a polar bear and the third will Hoover up anything edible or try it if it is not edible on the off chance it might be. The three of them, once they get revved up are totally bonkers.
We could have ferret racing and see if she can do 'ferret down her wellies and see how long she lasts'

Oh yes, I love ferrets, that would be great. Chris, can we?

I can offer you a band of very opinionated spoken word poets? Give them a bit of warning and I'm sure they can come up with some apposite pieces to speak... very loudly...

Wilding, you could draft in Numptie's 11 year olds into the squad.

yes please - it might do them the world of good and encourage at least a more varied vocabulary or even an aesthetic turn to their rages.

Ice bean, dh would love you forever if you brought ferrets. He loves them so much.

Wilding, that's just my cup of tea :)

Wedge, this Saturday is the day the shed needs clearing. So we shall see.

Dh has emailed responding to the points she has raised. It's a good un and covers the fact that this can't be a shock to them as their info on FB reveals they've been looking for a new place since 2011 and brought in the second horse when they knew the land had sold and they couldn't stay.

We shall see. Dh is dealing with it all and keeping me away from it. But in all honesty he's got enough on his plate just worrying about me, and I think it's getting him down.

Go fuck yourself,
And that horse,
Or you'll find yourself
Facing fields of the Norse,
The drumming troups,
The piping band,
So pack it up
Get orf my land.
We've got a plan
It's now abrewing;
Ale and gin
And field a-ploughing.
You may think
You can take the rainbows
But here comes the gun
And the dd's longbows.
So pack it up
And walk away
Live to scrounge
Another day.
We've got metal and jazz
You've got the date,
If needs be
We'll sing you out the gate.
Recorders aplenty
A violin too,
Amateur drummers
Complete the crew
Afternoon tea,
Ale by the barrel
Dcs running naked
and old fashioned apparel.
We've got reasonable Quakers
And tantrumming kids
Stackable goats
Bearded dragons (no squids).
The turdis is sorted,
The generator's humming,
We've got fifteen squillion
Mumsnetters a-coming.
And if that doesn't scare you
When all's said and done
Then I'll pull out the trump card;
One stare from the nun.

Ferrets!:o. Can we get some of the scouts and guides to construct them a basket tree, lots of swingy baskets for them to look cute sleeping in/fighting over? Please? Pleasepleaseplease!

That is awesome!

Kitten, even if i say no, dh would overrule me :) he loves them a lot.

bees