hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

with that evil genius you will have enough money for that house soon enough. (also bored and avoiding tidying the kitchen)

Yes indeed.

'pork chicken, steak chicken, tuna chicken? No chicken in any of them. Ha!'

Calamares? No, not actually flowers. Squid. You have eaten it 100 times. It's really, really not flowers. What do they teach you at school?

Anything you would like to confess, while you're here?

DD's, I know you don't want to go to bed. I know, I understand. It's still light outside. But Mummy is just going to do boring jobs while you are asleep so you aren't missing anything.

No I'm not, I'm going to watch old episodes of the West Wing and eat chocolate. Now I know you wouldn't be worried about the former, but you'd be very cross about the latter.

Also, that toy car that beeped and mysteriously broke. It wasn't a mystery. I dropped it in the washing up when trying to do too many things at once and failed to fess up.

Xpost pag.

My kind of cooking!

Hehe, I'll just be sat quietly over here taking notes!

How can you pass squid off as flowers?

Oh, and that pasta sauce you love that's just tomato. It's not, it has your most hated vegetables - courgette and pepper. Plus carrot and onion. I just blend it a lot.

at squid being flowers

DS is only 21mo but I also hide veg in food and will continue to do so for a long time if he's anything like my DH!

Meanwhile...

The singing moose is not broken. I took the batteries out after you found it when you were meant to be napping and I had to listen to it over the monitor for half an hour.

Hmm. That juice in your cup? Thats water, that is. Water-flavoured juice .

How many years can I get away with that one?

It was a sad day when DS1 realised that the "song van" sold ice creams. We had never told him it didn't; he named it.

::le sigh::

Dds2 o have been blending veg, mushrooms and onions into your spag Bol and lasagne for as long as I can remember

Oh yes ds3s juice is also just water

While we are at it,Yorkshire Juice ? Well it' s actually Yorkshire Water.

I can't really remember how it started but DD being a total numpty makes it easier.

I love it that you haven't worked out where the Diet Coke is hidden, even though when I say I will get you a can I go out the front door and there is only one place out the front it could be hidden and not be boiling hot. I know you haven't worked it out, because if you had you'd have drunk every can you thieving bugger.

I was lying when I said I was pleased when you learned to tell the time. Actually I was gutted. I couldn't tell you it was "Very late, WAY past your bedtime" and pack you off to bed early any more.

We are not being specially nice to you letting you always have the orange jam tarts. No one else likes them.

I didn't really phone Father Christmas....

You asked me why all those broken pieces of plastic tat that you so lovingly refer to as your toys... The ones you let me give to the 'poor children'... Why I put them all in a black bin bag to give to them!

Ps. I'm not cruel; none of the toys were fit to give to anybody but the bin!

I know someone who 'treats' their DC to lovely lovely 'tap juice' :D