Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Almighty gaffes you have made

322 replies

LuisSuarezTeeth · 24/07/2013 09:54

I work with the elderly and people with various disabilities. This week I have surpassed myself and made things so much worse by apologising profusely.

To the gentleman without legs: Would you like to go for a walk?

To the partially sighted lady: Yes I see

To the gentleman who has dementia: Do you remember..?

I feel just terrible, wretched and awful. I am normally so tactful, but have had a rotten week. They were all so nice about it and the gentleman with no legs kept cracking his own jokes.

But really, I am so embarrassed.

Please tell me I am not the only one Blush

OP posts:
EBearhug · 01/08/2013 23:30

We were recently very puzzled by an email at work which was insisting we must include a BJ if we want the request to be approved.

I think there are some terms which should never be abbreviated. That includes "business justification".

chicaguapa · 01/08/2013 23:42

I recently jokingly remonstrated a man in the lift at work for not walking up to the 3rd floor. It turned out he was fasting for Ramadan and was saving his energy. Then the lift doors opened and it was all dark so I made an oooo sound and he explained that it was an empty floor and he was going to pray. Blush I was just trying to be friendly.

QOD · 02/08/2013 08:19

I've told this before but I was in a jewellers looking for a small gold band to go on my little finger.
I lurked and looked and looked and lurked and finally a young salesman came up and asked if he could help and what was I looking for

"A little fingering". I said

We stared at each other for some time, he eventually showed me a tray of rings and then I mumbled I'd think about it and left.

Crannog · 02/08/2013 09:01

WHY IS THIS NOT IN CLASSICS?

How can this be done? Do I have to report the thread? Or will I just keep bumping it till someone in the know moves it?

FruOla · 02/08/2013 09:29

Crannog, report the thread and ask MNHQ if they'll move it into Classics!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 02/08/2013 09:44

'"A little fingering". I said

We stared at each other for some time' [crying] [can't breathe]

Crannog · 02/08/2013 12:23

Reported!

MNHQ
RebeccaMumsnet · 02/08/2013 17:00

ROAR at this thread.

We've moved it to classics now Grin

LindyHemming · 02/08/2013 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FruOla · 02/08/2013 17:16

See, Crannog? A nod in the right direction and you've not only got RebeccaMNHQ laughing her head off, but she's also moved the thread to Classics.

Easy, peasy - once you know how Grin

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 02/08/2013 18:03

YAY Classics!

Original poster
LuisSuarezTeeth · 02/08/2013 18:46

OH MY DAYS! My first thread in classics! Do I get a certificate? Grin

OP posts:
ZingWidge · 02/08/2013 19:07

no

but here's a medal for you!
/
Smile

Crannog · 02/08/2013 19:32

Oh well done me! And you of course Luis for starting the thread but mostly me Grin

Original poster
LuisSuarezTeeth · 02/08/2013 20:29

Crannog can you make do with a Wine ?

OP posts:
bumblebeaver · 02/08/2013 20:35

I'm going to go back and read through this thread but I wanted to add one a friend of mine did. He was at a party and introduced his long-term girlfriend family friends as: this is x, my current girlfriend. Er...

Bumblebee78 · 02/08/2013 20:45

These are so funny, i have one from a colleague who was on the phone to a customer and meant to say was that was that his name was on the 'tip of my tongue'what she actually said was, 'oh you've just come in my mouth!' Hee hee! This is she same lady who shouted to a colleague that someone was on the phone for him, our colleague flipped her the middle finger (yes nice place i work), she then says to to the bloke on the phone that our colleague has just fingered her in the office!

CatelynStark · 02/08/2013 21:24

I've told this little story on here before but it still makes me break out in a cold sweat.

I had taken my two youngest children to a concert - I think it was Katy Perry or similar - and we were braving the crowds outside on our way to the car park.

It was heaving with people and I grabbed one hand of each daughter so we didn't get separated. Alongside us, strode a very tall, very regal tranny who was smoking a cigarette, holding it down at thigh height.

Aware that I didn't want my youngest getting burned by aforementioned cigarette, I warned my girl to 'Mind the fag!' Shock

Kill me now!

Mynewmoniker · 02/08/2013 21:53

When my male boss was seen signing out early for something to say I churped up "You part timers...can't hack it"

Boss: I'm afraid I have to go home as I've broken my trouser zip
Me: Are you braggin' or complainin'?

Why?! why?! why?! Blush

kweggie · 02/08/2013 21:56

I left my one year old daughter with her dad while I took my 12 year old daughter to get measured for her first bra in M&S. The lady was very sensitive when I explained she was a bit shy and ushered my blushing daughter into a cubicle. After she had measured her, she came out to tell me the size so that we could look for some different styles. Just as she was taking the bras back to my daughter, I stopped her and said '' Do you think you have time to measure me too, please? Only I've just stopped breastfeeding my daughter and I'm sure I've changed size..''
The assistant looked from my 12 year old to me, all politely glazed horror and my DD1 nearly died of embarrassment...

Bumblebee78 · 02/08/2013 22:01

I'm still laughing at Wanking jacket!

smallandimperfectlyformed · 02/08/2013 22:02

Today I met a man who asked me if I had gone to our local primary school - I confirmed I had and he then said my younger brother's name so I replied with "no, that's my brother, I haven't had a sex change" (why the f did I say that?) and he then said "no, that's my name". I apologised and said very embarrassed that I didn't remember going to school with someone with that name. In the end it turned out that he had been in the same class as my older sister and his younger sister had been in my class - wonder if he'll tell her about meeting me, a strange woman denying a sex change!!

Bumblebee78 · 02/08/2013 22:06

Just remembered one of mine. I was trying to be polite at my boyfriends ( now DH) family party. It was christmas and had been snowing.

I asked his granny,' did you get much over christmas?' Meaning snow, much to my now brother n laws amusement, to which his granny replied straight faced ' no, not much, just a couple of inches'

Guffaw!

VitoCorleone · 02/08/2013 22:08

I have tears streaming down my face at "are you Ally Gator" Grin

nbee84 · 02/08/2013 22:52

'Mind the fag!' Grin

This morning I walked past a parked car ,outside a small shop, with a baby (6-9 months ish) crying in the back - the window was down an inch or two. I thought I'd chat to the baby to try and cheer her up until someone came back. I'd bent down and was cooing away when I realised a lady in a full black burqa was sitting in the back next to the baby Blush The baby did stop crying!