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Original poster

Almighty gaffes you have made

322 replies

LuisSuarezTeeth · 24/07/2013 09:54

I work with the elderly and people with various disabilities. This week I have surpassed myself and made things so much worse by apologising profusely.

To the gentleman without legs: Would you like to go for a walk?

To the partially sighted lady: Yes I see

To the gentleman who has dementia: Do you remember..?

I feel just terrible, wretched and awful. I am normally so tactful, but have had a rotten week. They were all so nice about it and the gentleman with no legs kept cracking his own jokes.

But really, I am so embarrassed.

Please tell me I am not the only one Blush

OP posts:
BeckyBrandon · 31/07/2013 19:39

Asked a shop assistant where the durex was in homebase the other week.

I meant the dulux...

FruOla · 31/07/2013 20:24

Becky, I've posted this loads of times over the years, but my lovely and eccentric mother constantly got confused between the words Durex, Dulux and Duralex (a version of Pyrex). Apparently she had some very .... erm .... interesting conversations in her local shops Grin

Alohomora · 31/07/2013 20:56

Oh dear, this has brought back memories. When I was around 7 I was learning the keyboard and at the yearly concert, instead of playing, a girl from my group and I were playing the tambourine and singing.

There was a bit where the rhythm changed, the other girl muddled it up completely!!! Little perfectionist me was really cross, but I just carried on tambourining and singing.

Afterwards, I came off the stage and ran to where my parents were sitting, all excited and expecting praise, to be met with stern looks and a glare.

Apparently I'd flipped the girl the bird* right there on stage in view of everyone, in a 'wth are you doing?!' way - I hadn't even realized!

*actually, it was a slightly less rude gesture we do in Germany, but still pretty awful for a sweet little girl.... Blush

chipmonkey · 01/08/2013 00:53

Becky, I'm an optometrist and we have often had people ask for bisexual glasses, rather than bifocal!

EatYourCrusts · 01/08/2013 05:37

Great thread!

Secretswitch · 01/08/2013 06:17

My bff's mum as German and was still learning English when we were in high school. She needed Christmas decorations and asked me to drive as she never learnt. We arrived at the store and she began her search. She approached a store employee, one of then cool dudes from our school. In a very loud voice she asked him to show her his big blue balls. My friend and I were horrified and certain our social ostracism would begin the next day at school.

Tee2072 · 01/08/2013 07:13

I must have awesome memory suppression because I can't think of a single story and, believe me, I embarrass myself all the time.

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway · 01/08/2013 08:24

At a dog show, perusing a dog toy stand with my 3 DS's, I was asking my boys to all look for suitable toys for our English Mastiff ( huge dog), they picked up different toys saying " what about this Mum?" All holding unsuitable fluffy, soft toys to which I piped up," it must be really big and really hard, the bigger it is and the harder it is, the longer it will last ". The man running the stand gave me a wink and said "I've got just the thing luv". I died many deaths.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 01/08/2013 08:58

Grin Grin OverTheFields

chipmonkey · 01/08/2013 10:30

Grin OverTheFields

NoSplashNoGash · 01/08/2013 17:48

I hadn't seen a good friend for ages but she'd told me over the phone she'd become quite depressed about developing alopecia.

Met up with her for tea and her hair looked fine, so I said "Honestly, there is NOTHING wrong with your hair, are you sure you've got alopecia?! You look fine."

Friend answers: "Erm... I'm completely bald. This is a wig?"

I DIED inside!

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 01/08/2013 17:51

NoSpalsh - obviously a very realistic and well worn wig

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 01/08/2013 17:52

so a compliment really
aargh I didn't mean well worn, that sounds awful. What I meant was you were genuinely saying "your wig looks lovely and very natural" and in such a way that she knew you weren't just being polite

Coconutty · 01/08/2013 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

froggiebabies · 01/08/2013 18:06

This thread should come with a warning. Grin

My dds think here is something seriously wrong with me. The 'flaps' story is one of the funniest things I ever read. No way to explain THAT to a 7 year old.

NoSplashNoGash · 01/08/2013 18:19

Frances... Haha! To be honest she was so shocked and happy that I thought it was real. But I still wanted the ground to swallow me up!

itsallshitandmoreshit · 01/08/2013 18:35

I do this all the time, I could share lots of funny ones but I actually made a serious faux pas recently.

I was at an interview for a senior level management health care type job that I really wanted. The interview was going very well when they suddenly asked me a question that made my mind go blank. It involved me working co-operatively with another team of people but I couldn't remember the name of the person I had been working with, a complete brain-freeze. Rather that admit that I had forgotten I said someone else's name who works in similar field. The main interviewer looked baffled and said "oh she's my best friend, I had no idea you had worked so closely with her". I had only been introduced to this person once [shame] I have absolutely no idea why I said such a blatant lie. I don't know what I was thinking!!!

I didn't get the job. I still shudder when I think about it.

Secretswitch · 01/08/2013 19:01

sorry no, I'm not wearing underwear! hahahahahahahhaha..

GhostsInSnow · 01/08/2013 19:12

As we are talking mothers...
Brand new Health Centre, shiny signs on all the doors.

Mum "I've been to the lobotomist today in that new clinic"
Me "Did they take a blood sample?"
Mum "Yes!"
Me "Thank God for that."

Also, on being told she needed to have radiotherapy on her Thyroid. They sent a map of the hospital, again a reasonably new building.

Mum "its ever so posh, they even do animals!"
(points to the PET Scan department)

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway · 01/08/2013 20:47

Driving DS's home from school ,stupid, stupid man pulled out on me almost causing crash, he was being abusive so I gave him the wanker hand signal. DS1 ( 16 at the time) puts his head in his hands and says " mum, what the hell was that?" I said "the sign for wanker" he kindly pointed out I was doing it upside down and looked like I was putting vinegar on chips. Made myself look a right tit, infront of my kids too. Oh how they laughed.

QOD · 01/08/2013 21:25

Mean and measly I just cried laughing

Passmethecrisps · 01/08/2013 21:27

Came on here very confused.

Read the thread title as 'almighty giraffes'

I couldn't imagine how many people could share stories.

I am sure I have many but will now go back and read others

LindyHemming · 01/08/2013 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 01/08/2013 22:51

I once asked the nice man in B&Q if the tin of paint I was pointing too would be enough for a room.... 'depends on how big your room is love Confused was his response... obviously Blush

HoikyPoiky · 01/08/2013 23:28

Today,

I offered the guys at a local charity who were helping me load something into my car a drink. which would have been fine if the charity was NOT staffed by recovering alcoholics. Blush

I am sure they wouldn't have minded but still. I was ConfusedBlush when I thought of it afterwards.