House rules I forgot to make.

[CadleCrap]

Don't comb the soap.

We don't lick dog's bum holes

Do not immac the cat

Don't decide to decorate your bedroom by spreading Vaseline everywhere, carpet, walls, yourself, etc, when mummy is out and daddy is expecting a quiet night in. (Came in to DP going quietly bonkers, trying to clean it up. We ended up having to repaint the bedroom, and iron the stuff out the carpet by using newspaper. Thanks, DS.)

No playing with power tools in bed

Oh, and I forgot this one.

Don't use a marker pen to decorate the bathroom an hour before potential buyers come to view. (I did manage to clean it, only just in time.)

The words that mummy and daddy sometimes use to describe other drivers are not to be repeated outside the car (this from DP).

Don't attempt to give yourself a hair cut.
Mum doesn't need to wipe your bum anymore, you're 5. And don't ever ask mummy to do this for you in front of our visitors!

Hi,

Thank you for the many reports about this thread. We've decided to move this to a new home.

you are not Bobby Sands

Oh cjbk1 I've spluttered tea at the inappropriate hilarity of your comment.

Yay, classics

Love this

Do not ride the dog
Do not give the your dinner because she is hungry she will get fed
Do not wee in the dogs water and then try and force her to drink it

Poo goes in the toilet/potty not on your bedroom floor walls bed nor is it for your cars to be driven in

Do not put your toys in the air vent or in the washing machine or dvd/vhs you will break it and won't be able to watch thomas

Oh and do not sit on kitchen side eating sugar even though its delicious.

Don't lick the pavement.

also, listen to this. It's BRILLIANT

that freaked me out gin! [argh]

Don't feed the guinea pig with his own poo, just because he chooses to eat it doesn't mean you have to pick it up and give it to him.

When taken to the market (normal town centre Saturday market) do not find the one children's toy stall that has a solitary inflatable "doll" and ask if you can buy it when your Mum has given you $2 and let you go to the stall for the first time on your own and force the embarrassed stall holder to call your Mum over to stop you buying it.

Just because we talked about how babies are made in the biological sense, you do not need to ask Grandma how it felt when Grandpa's willy was inside her

Read the whole thread and ^ this is my absolute favourite! :o

Pants go UNDER trousers.

No eating Mummy's chocolate.

springy I think it's hilarious... 'There's no such thing as a metal frisbee'

I know you said you wanted a pink bedroom, but hand prints of mummy's lipstick are not a good look.

I am talking to you dear departed dog. Never ever, however much it smells of horse, do a wee on another child's coat....

Even though we've probably all seen a zillion times this thread reminded me of it.

My tampon is not a lollipop in a nice orange paper wrapper.

(I'm looking at you DN)

Don't moon the guests (DD)

Do not grab the handles of your great grandmother's wheelchair then shake her.

Do not put grass in your ear.

The tube by the side of Mummy and Daddy's bed is not toothpaste!

do not eat slugs, worms and your own poo

do not pee on your brother's head

do not pee in a toy bucket and give it to your brother to drink

do not drink a bucket of pee