House rules I forgot to make.

[CadleCrap]

Don't comb the soap.

Do not eat the dried raisins on the window ledge ,they're not raisins.

I tried to turn on automatic captions for that David Shrigley video because I couldn't hear all of it over the background percussion, it was hilarious! And oh so wrong...

Yay for Classics! MNHQ

Springy that's hilarious!

"And above all, don't eat scorpions"

Brilliant!

Do not, under any circumstances, wipe your bogies on Auntie Sunny's sleeve. It is not appreciated.

Do not slide down the piano.

Poo is not a suitable medium for creating artwork on your bedroom walls & door, nor on your brother's bedroom walls and door for that matter.

A list of names for your genitalia does not constitute appropriate subject matter for your own mini musical.

Sanitary towels do not form part of your dressing up box.

Clothes come off before you go in the bath.And on a similar theme, my mop bucket is not a bath.

Don't clean your teeth with the nail file.

Once the loo paper has gone in the loo, we don't take it out again.

Don't dress the cat as a princess complete with tutu and tiara. He might be a placid cat with you, not so much with us when we're trying to rescue him from said items.

Bath products are products to wash your body and hair with. Not part of your chemistry set

Don't post items from the freezer through the cat flap.

Don't get a knife cut up a poo because you wanted to see what it was like

Don't talk back when we tell you that you are pushing the boundaries we do not mean the one between England and Scotland and neither the one between England or Wales and yes you are quite correct that this would be very difficult to do when you are only 11 DD.

Not quite a house rule but don't kiss any signs when out, or any pictures of chocolate, or trees, or railings. Or anything

OY shakey. That wasn't springy THAT WAS ME

don't stand on the biscuit tin!

repeated ad nauseam to DS (18 months) who's trying to reach selves further up

*shelves, not selves!

i wouldn't mind him using the tin for spiritual purposes

This thread is funny but I can't decide whether it's reassuring that I'm not the only one who's spent the day saying no to some completely random things or distressing because I have most of this to come. (DD's 2).

Favourites of the day: Don't stand on your scuttle bug to reach something. Every other time you do it, it goes horribly wrong (unless I get there quick enough).
Do not cry when mummy gives you something you have just asked for. It mummy feel like she is going insane.
Do not laugh at daddy while he wees. Even if it is the first time you've seen him do it (although mummy's secretly pleased because she's not had a wee in private for 2 years).

oh, and I was quietly taking the credit, hoping I'd got away with it.

Nice to get a mention

Don't tell strangers "mummy has a big fat spotty botty"

Don't repeatedly ask when standing outside the bathroom door "are you doing a poo mummy"? When the carpet fitters are at the bottom of the stairs!

Don't eat dried up frogs, slow worms or slugs please.

Don't eat raisins that fall out your nappy

Don't pull my tampon string!!

Don't tell great gran she is next to die

No, you have not 'made ice cream' by placing a tissue into a bowl, adding two chopped up plums and some milk even if you did do a very neat job chopping the plums for a 4yo using a plastic knife

NO cleaning the bathroom with my toothbrush- yes I know you were trying to be helpful but still! (God knows how many times this had been done before I caught her in the act!!!)

No swords on the table.

Sydney philharmonic's take on this

Sorry Ginhag have these

Do not hide a cup of milk in the cupboard, to be discovered 3 days later when it has transformed into outage cheese