Care to join me in my "Great TV shows they should make, but won't" thread? I'll start.

[lashingsofbingeinghere]

"Escape to Cakes in the Attic".

[TalcAndTurnips]

Trumpton - The stop-frame animation town lives up to its name, as Dr Mopp has to attend the scene or a near-fatal immolation. Fireman Grub has lit one of his farts - flames have shot across the fire station lounge area and set the nylon curtains ablaze. Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert and Dibble rush Grub to Trumpton General in an agonisingly low-speed emergency dash through the sleepy cardboard streets. Proceedings are brought to a halt, as Mrs Lovelace crosses the road outside the town hall with her three Pekinese pooches. Cert U.

[NapDamnYou]

Dongs of Praise celebrity stud muffins get their cocks out

[NamingOfParts]

I'm a nonentity, can I stay here? - while the celebs fight it out in the jungle ordinary people compete to stay in the celebs' houses.

Bargain Hunt in the dark - first task is for contestants to identify their expert by touch alone - how do you tell one tubby, tweedy antiques expert from another?

[NapDamnYou]

Downton Out the cast of Downton Abbey sleep rough in hedges and eat out of bins.

[NapDamnYou]

Blue Peter celebrities reveal their home sex movies

[NapDamnYou]

One Man and His Bog slebs talk us through their lavatorial decor,reading habits and rituals

[neski36]

The Crystal Haze, contestants on crystal meth compete.

[TalcAndTurnips]

Bra Wars - Rival gangs of huge-breasted amazonian women fight it out on the streets of a housing estate - using only their foundation garments as slingshots, plus a selection of gourd and cantaloupe ammunition. Narrated by Sir Ian McKellen. ^(Available in HD and 3D - subtitled)


Judge Doody - Criminal proceedings and petty spats are presided over by a giant turd wearing a horse-hair wig and propped up in a large wing chair. In over 300 editions of this popular daytime show, a judgement is yet to be made by the oversized stool - due to it having no powers of speech or rational thought. (Repeated at 2230, after Two and a Half Shits)

[mouldyironingboard]

scratch of the day a group of elderly people wearing baggy underwear sit on a sofa while scratching themselves, grumbling, drinking tea and eating biscuits.

[JammySplodger]

A Place In The Sun - annoying estate agents get sent to the sun. Forever.

[MardyBra]

Life in Spars Gene Hunt gets a job in stacking shelves in a convenience store.

In the follow-up series Rashes to Rashes, he moves on to work in a pharmacy.

[MardyBra]

You've been flamed Survivors of AIBU talk candidly about their experiences.

Episode 1243 A newbie explains her first encounter with worra and scottishmummy.

[TessOfTheBaublevilles]

Inspector Coarse - a foul-mouthed detective solves murders in the historical university city of Cambridge.

Baywatch UK - it's Baywatch as you've never seen it before. Based in Whitby Bay.

[GetAllTheThings]

Wife Swap Presented by Boris Johnson.
Boris shows he's not above getting involved himself.

masterchef with Hannabal Lecter.
The contestants are whittled down, and washed down with a nice Cianti.

Blue Peter Andre
Peter shows us how he makes kids 'ozzie style'.

the Magic Roundabout
Dougal's LSD stash is discovered to have contaminated the water supply since episode 1 and it's revealed to be a show about grey accountants from Surbiton.

[NamingOfParts]

You've been flamed made me laugh out loud!

[NicholasTeakozy]

Dixon Of Dock Green Green Grass Of Home. A mild mannered old fashioned copper nicks Boycie for crimes against Shropshire. And comedy.

[WeatherWitch]

Homeland Under the Hammer - an increasingly frantic Claire Danes attempts to buy and renovate property at auction before some ginger bloke in a suicide vest blows it up.

[TessOfTheBaublevilles]

Everybody Hates Liz - sitcom about the life of a bitter and catty newspaper columnist called Liz Bones . Every week, watch as Liz spouts her bile and upsets many, all while thinking she is a serious journalist.

[TotalBummer]

TessOfTheBaublevilles amazing

[meddie]

Mock the Weak..
A series where Ian Duncan smith and a bunch of his mates, line up people claiming benefits and throw pate fois gras, caviar and shower them with champagne. Last man standing gets to keep his DLA.

[FellowshipOfFestiveFellows]

Put 'Em in the Stocks a hilarious cross between the Jeremy Kyle show and old Medieval England, whereby the days victims guests get their chance to have a dna/lie detector test. Except before the results are read out, they are place in stocks, and instead of booing, the audience are invited to throw rotten cabbages and tomatoes at them (upcycling unwanted food, very green and thus bringing down the carbon foot print of the show). When it turns out someone lied, the audience is then allowed to watch as the guest is tarred and feathered. Could be presented by David Cameron

[Leithlurker]

ONE MAN AND HIS LOG: Severely constipated people tell tales of horrific experiences from their own past of triumph over tragedy.

Follow up series for a more niche market audience.

ONE BORN EVERY MONTH: Women recount how they overcome consitpation during pregnancy and post childbirth. WARNING this programme contains bad language and scenes of violent explosions from the start

[Leithlurker]

SPRINGWATCH: Live from sofa's and beds across the land, live outside broadcasts featuring the best of british springs and what happens to them during the programme.

[RebeccaMumsnet]

@MardyBra

I'd like to nominate this thread for classics.

[LadyMaryCrawley]

The Big Bang Theory

Brian Cox, Patrick Moore and Brian May live across the hall from, oh, I don't know, Fearne bloody Cotton, and spend the evening trying to explain the whole of physics to her. Brian Cox looks all toothy and awed and says things like "The universe! It's fucking amazing!" while Brian May and Patrick Moore jam in the back and all Fearne is things like "Ooh, random!" at the most inappropriate moments.