Care to join me in my "Great TV shows they should make, but won't" thread? I'll start.

[lashingsofbingeinghere]

"Escape to Cakes in the Attic".

The Cheese Wire

McNulty and Stringer Bell tuck into a ripe camembert.

The West Bling President Bartlet models his new gold tooth.

I've never watched the Sopranos, but could Gareth Malone possibly get them singing some four part harmony schmaltz.

MPs vs Wolves - democracy in action as the public vote out unpopular government policies. U-turns see MPs given only a White Paper of their choice to defend themselves with.

24 The Hour in A&E

Jack Bauer fends off a 1950s news team attempting a terrorist attack on a hoispital.

Name That Huhne - members of the public pick the MP's most likely to get involved in shady activity during the next week.

Space 1999

A group of scientists don't go to the moon.

University challenge

Hundreds of thousands of student attempt to complete a degree course whilst accruing huge debts

Time Team Down Under

Tony and the crew are placed at the centre of the earth and try to work their way out using only an archaeologist's tool kit recording their findings en route.

Songs of Raves

An ecstasy fuelled dance off presented by Aled Jones.

The Muppets

Live coverage from parliament.

@ The Muppets

Dislocation,dislocation,dislocation - Kirstie and Phil find you the best hospital in your area- shortest waiting times, lowest levels of c.diff, MRSA, least number of medical blunders etc. The more money you have the more choice obvs.

X Tractor presented by Ben Fogle: A compition where two teams of clubs compete in a number of farm related games. Such as "Dig the Dung" Scrapping the bottom of the cess pit" Muck raking and spreading". And the highlight of the show, guessing the make and model of Tractors by listening to recordings of them.

POT KETTLE BLACK. Two teams of politicians try and out do each other by telling the biggest lies.

I would definitely be an X Tractor fan

Emmerdale Nights - Late-night, adult-themed spin-off of the favourite agricultural soap.
This week: Amos Brierley goes twos-up with Mr Wilks on Annie Sugden under a tarpaulin in the top field. A few sheep, chewing, look on with mild disinterest. The Woolpack is closed by Trading Standards officers, when it is discovered that the Bishop's Nipple Ale actually contains Rohypnol in significant quantities - which could be behind the recent spate of abductions of middle-aged men.

Takeshi's Arsehole - Bizzare Japanese game show. Contestants face a variety of scatalogical challenges, including: 10 Gallon Coffee Enema 100m Dash; How Many Brussel Sprouts?; Amateur Haemorrhoidectomy With Plastic Cutlery and the legendary Pineapple Challenge. Viewer discretion is advised.

Han About The House - Hilarious 70s sitcom featuring Intergalactic Space Pilot Han Solo, who has moved in with two buck-toothed peroxide blondes in push-up bras and white plastic platform boots.
Episode 7: Landlords George and Mildred Roper spy on Han, as they suspect he may be part of a Rebel plot to overthrow the Empire. They attempt to have him evicted from the flat for keeping a pet - but Han tries to explain that Chewy is actually his lover. Chrissy and Jo find an amusing new use for a light sabre.

Midsomer Turders - In the sleepy village of Midsomer, the search is on for the identity of a mysterious shitter.

Six Feet Udder - Drama about the world's largest cow.

Bargain Hund - Alsatians compete against Weimaraners to buy antiques cheaply.

Return To River Cottaging - Homosexual bargemen give a whole new meaning to cruising. Series II.

Hoodies Emergency Room

A gang of steet yoot are given the opportunity to learn how to be medical professionals....watch as Chardonnay performs drastic brain surgery with a flick knife and Col' gets to deliver a breech baby using only his teeth and a firework.

The credit goes to Reeves and Mortimer,but I can't help thinking of 'International Pan Fighting' and 'Poldark on Mopeds'.

I'm on Jeremy Kyle, get me out of here: with added audience votes- should she leave him/ have the sex change/ sell her children? You decide!

The Rex Factor Members of the Royal Family compete to be Britain's next monarch.

Newsfight, Grand Resigns. Brilliant! Nearly woke DD up from her milky bliss with my cackling.