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Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

399 replies

HumperdinkFangboner · 12/05/2011 07:12

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

OP posts:
keep · 13/05/2011 14:00

:O

keep · 13/05/2011 14:01

:o

foggyfig · 13/05/2011 14:14

Thanks ladies for a snort with laughter threads. All I could think of was this movie

www.imdb.com/title/tt0056869/

KatieMiddleton · 13/05/2011 14:22

May I suggest you perform at the wake? OP do you have a yellow dress you could twirl in by the bins graveside?

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:23

yes i will inter him .he can go in with the dead fish we had last week !

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:24
mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:28

Awaits hordes of other mourners.Are the police involved in this demise? its all very fishy to me !

Suncottage · 13/05/2011 14:32

Takes Humps arm and walks out to a bell tolling

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:34

Links arms with the other two mourners,wipes away a silent dear and trys to control laughtermy sobbing.Goodbye Jack,i enjoyed meeting you albeit briefly.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/05/2011 14:35
Wordwork · 13/05/2011 14:36

Bursts into funeral like Thingy from Eastenders: "It wasn't Jack Dawe wot died! It was MY jackdaw!! I swapped 'im. 'Ere you can 'ave Jack back now."

keep · 13/05/2011 14:38

There are best singers on the Earth
Out of birds? great family.
There are top fashion-designers and tailors
Found in the kingdom of the bird.
Most of birds are born in good pilots;
Some of them are super navigators,
While they fly across vast lands and boundless oceans.
It is the bird that encourages the human being
To conquer the sky, the space and the universe.
So, it is our duty to take care of and protect birds.
My dear fellows, don?t you agree with me?
If yes, I beg you all to do something good for birds.

Amen

I must say it was in very poor taste to have all those sequin thongs on youur washing line whilst we paid our respects in your garden.

Oooh sandwiches and a glass of sherry. Lovely.

Suncottage · 13/05/2011 14:40

Takes end of rope as tears pour down cheeks.

Bye my little feathered friend.

RIP

Suncottage · 13/05/2011 14:41

Pours wine.

Can we get pissed now and have a fight over who loved him more?

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:42

steals red rose left by OldLadyKnowsNothing to put in my nice vase !

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 13/05/2011 14:45

Sorry sorry -- sshhh - I'm late

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 14:47

HumperdinkFangboner is not in the running for the person who loved him most ,i think he was pushed starved.So obviously its me.I adawed him >

Suncottage · 13/05/2011 14:49

Mummylin

I whittled him a trap shelter.

[Narrows eyes]

CalamityKate · 13/05/2011 14:49

OK so I've skipped through to the end. Did it die, then? :(

I don't mind such things. My DP is terrified though.

I was round my friend's a couple of years ago, and there was a mouse in her kitchen. She leapt onto the worktop (seriously), while yelling "DO SOMETHING!" so I got a tea towel and herded it gently into a corner. Kneeling down, I covered it with the towel. But when I tried to locate it to pick it up, it was nowhere to be seen. It must have escaped from under the towel, but there was nowhere for it to go. It was baffling.

Until I stood up.

It became clear that without me noticing, it had escaped from under the towel and gone straight between my kneeling legs, whereby it had spotted a nice dark, safe-looking hole (the leg of my bootcut jeans) and scampered in.

When I stood up, I noticed a small lump, working its way up my leg on the inside of my jeans.

I went outside, undid them and it popped out, over the waistband and off it went Grin

keep · 13/05/2011 14:53

Caw Caw. All eyes look up at a lone Jackdaw circling in the skies above. Caw. Caw. The long echo of her birdsong.

Sweeping magestically down over the shed she glides down to perch on the branch of the old apple tree. Her beady eyes moist with tears she moves towards her nest.

Three hungry mouths reach up to her, wide open with hunger. They do mot know that Daddy won't be back tonight, the cold earth now his bed forever more. Mother Bird feeds her precious babies and using her beak deftly arranges a sequin thong in the nest to keep them warm.

She flies off and lands on the shed, a knowing look at the large crowd gathered around the small mound of earth.

There is no sound, then a soft flutter of wings and a shrill CAW CAW cuts through the air as Mother Bird dive bombs the crowd, "You murdering Bastards!"

The crowd breaks cover, running in all directions. Some stumble blindly, trampling the Begonia's, whilst others run towards the house and bang on the french doors begging to be let in.

Zoooom Mother Bird dives and dives again, the crowd at the mercy of her sharp beak. "Has anyone got a toupee?" a lone voice is heard cowering from behind the shed......

Police sirens in the background getting louder as they approach.

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 13/05/2011 14:55

Marking to read later. It'll be good for a cheep laugh (geddit?!)

CalamityKate · 13/05/2011 14:55

I like to think it became something of an anecdote in the mouse family.

"Tell us about that time you went up that lady's trouser leg Grandad!"

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 15:01

But Suncottage i was going to make him a whole new special bird house,much more than just a shelter and i was going to provide his nursing care until he could then fly back to the wild.Sadly i did not get the chance to do these good deeds for him,but i know that he will be looking fondly down on me now from the dustbin birdie heaven.>

Quenelle · 13/05/2011 15:01

Oh Keep! Sad

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 15:03

keep are the sirens indication that a crime has been committed ?