Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

[HumperdinkFangboner]

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

[Suncottage]

This is like a Bergman film. A trapped bird.................have you checked to see if Death is standing on the rocks by the stormy sea? Is a shutter banging in the wind.

Cue close up of blackbird's eye.................

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

I dont suppose you have two shopping baskets handy do you? They always work a treat when we get pigeons wandering into the shop!

[threestars]

Get a toy light sabre/sword. Point it next to the bird so that the bird can hop onto it. Move it slowly to the window and allow bird to escape.

This happened to me last week. I went hysterical and jumped up and down uselessly. Luckily my friend was there and very calm and sorted it without shrieking.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

OP is this you?

[MmeLindt]

We had a swallow in the house recently. Husband was hopeless.

I thought that Psammead was suggesting you go into the duvet and make like a ghost to scare it out.

[ajandjjmum]

Oi you lot - over to my thread to help me get a spider out of the car - far more life threatening!!!

Good luck OP.

[Psammead]

Oh yes, do the ghost thing!!

aj sell the car.

[ChinnityRhino]

I must say I would not be calm if its a jackdaw or a crow
I take back the pansy comment

I thought we were talking about cute birds not harbingers(sp?) of doom

[ChinnityRhino]

link aj?

but I'm with psammead, sell it, no other option

[Psammead]

Op if it's some kind of half-insane raven thing, you need to fashion a helmet from your biggest tupperware box. Make sure arms and legs are covered, and then practise a battle cry.

Then just charge it with the hoover and towel.

[ChinnityRhino]

lol poor op, we aren't helping at all

aj I cant find your thread

[Psammead]

I think she's doing it right now , Odin help her.

[AlmaSinger]

It's like a Terrordactyl? Probably a rook! Hve you got it out yet?

[HumperdinkFangboner]

Oh god oh god.

He's still in there, he went mad when I went in and started flapping wildly. I joined in with the flapping, then screamed and ran out.

I don't know what make he is, but he's really big!

Will the council help?

[ChinnityRhino]

lol you poor thing

I would come and help if I was closer

the council may help yes, but what about neighbours or friedns first, y'know to save embarressment

[MmeLindt]

You big girls blouse.

How big is he?

Do you have a falconry nearby?

[threestars]

LIGHT SABRE, LIGHT SABRE!!! And put on some toy mask/eye shield thing in case it pecks your eyes out.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

See now we are all probably imagining something that looks like this But in reality it probably closely resembles this

[Psammead]

Thick gardening gloves, thick sleeves, tupperware helmet. Grab it and throw it like a fucker.

Out the window, obv.

[AlmaSinger]

Oh no! Did the hoover attachment not help? Did you try throwing a towel over him?

Just perpare yourself mentally, take a really deep breath before you go in, and remember you are the superior being - if you go in to a room you can always remember how to get out again!

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Humperdink have you not got a local nature rescue place that can come and get it?

[Psammead]

ABF

[ChinnityRhino]

dp says borrow a cat

[HumperdinkFangboner]

yes come save me Trin.

Neighbours cars aren't there so must be at work. Friends working too, except heavily pregnant with twins friend who would probably tell to me do one. My Dad said he'll come round at 6 if its still there.

[ChinnityRhino]

you could try to make friends with it whilst you wait for your dad