Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

[HumperdinkFangboner]

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

'Pon opening her bedroom door,
Humpy found a huge bird perched on her drawer
But despite being fed
He croaked on the shed
And poor raven will sing Nevermore.

Poor blighter.

So, farewell then, Jack Dawe.
Hero of ingress!
Lord of the shed!
Numpty of egress,
So now you are dead.

Lovely poem keep.

The rest of you piss-takers I am ignoring

lovely poems! Jack will be touched.

Now, really, what the frig do I do with him?!

Could we all have a minutes silence today at 2.30pm to pray for this much loved and missed bird.Can you pluck him and keep the feathers for a memento !

A jackdaw committed suicide in my back garden a few weeks ago by flying into a window at the speed of light. It's body was almost perfect, really beautiful, glossy and beady-eyed. Just a trickle of shiney blood from the skull. What to do with the body is quite straightforward: it isn't metal; it isn't paper/plastic. That's two bins ruled out. The choice is betweeen compost and general waste.

Or there was a recipe a few posts back.

[yummy]

There once was a jackdaw from Blighty
Who wanted to wear a silk Nighty.
He wouldn't leave the bedroom 'til he found one that fit
What a mess he did make with feathers and shit
But alas, when he was chased out he died of a frighty!

I feel this thread has come full circle.

'There's a black bird in my bedroom. What do I do?`'
Lots of pisstaking helpful advice.
'The bird is gone!'
Huzzah!
'There's a dead bird in my garden. What do I do?'
Lots of pisstaking mourning.

I've a feeling my previous advice about banging a saucepan will be even more useless now

This thread has to go into Classics.

RIP Tweety Pie

Dont forget the collective meeting here at 2.30 to say farewell to our newly departed feathered friend.I will hold the wake at my house but you will have to travel to Bournemouth if you want to join in

mummylin, Your compassion know's no bounds

Here is a useful Mumsnetters pattern that posters may like to use-

1. Take one black refuse sack and using sharp scissors to avoid a ragged edge, cut out a rectangle 15inches by 6 inches.

1. Lay out the rectangle horizontally and make a fold upwards from the bottom to the middle and secure with sellotape making sure there are no creases or bubbles.

1. Now take the top half of the rectangle and fold downwards to the middle and again secure with tape.

1. Place a small strip of double sided tape on one end of the strip and taking care not to catch your hair or clothing secure the band around your upper arms. If it falls down you have made it too loose. If your fingers turn blue you have made it too tight.

5.Wear your remembrance arm band with pride.

(Tip- make sure your refuse bag is empty before you start cutting it up)

Did you see him fall Humperdink? How long has he been down? You could try to resuccitate him. I could talk you through it if you like?

If that fails I personally would bury it in next doors garden.

^arm not arms unless you're adapting the pattern to make a bondage harness

@ keep

Condolences on your loss OP.

Shoebox time methinks.

Keep

Well he was looking suspiciously dead at about 7am when I went to make sure he'd left the shed roof! He was infront of the door so I think he just plopped down. Poor little bugger.

I can't put him in wheely bin can I? Could send him to you for burial mummylin? I think he'd like that.

Oh how sad

Bye bye Black Bird.

'e's not dead, 'e's pinin'.

He was obviously heartbroken. You threw him out of your bedroom. You were his one true love.

Bird killer.

For the fjords, Psammead?

ROAR! @ Psammead!

Psammead