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Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

399 replies

HumperdinkFangboner · 12/05/2011 07:12

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

OP posts:
Buda · 12/05/2011 20:48

Just goes to prove a girl always needs her dad.

Vallhala · 12/05/2011 21:10

"he's sat on my shed looking through the french doors."

Ohhhh.... poor little thing... he wants to come back in, the sea air's getting too chilly for him....

GetOrfMoiCase · 12/05/2011 23:56

I absolutely love this thread. I read it this morning on my phone and shook with laughter. I am so sorry Humperdink but this was so so funny.

psammead made me roar with her bloody pisstaking suggestions 'just pop a duvet over it' and 'go in banging a saucepan'

And val you made me laugh out loud 'go outside and throw food up at the window' - I know it was perfectly serious but had visions of the OP frisbeeing slices of bread and handfuls of seed in the air, to the consternation of passers by.

And keep - who are you, are you a namechanger. You are ver' ver' funny

Grin
MmeLindt · 13/05/2011 07:11

Hurrah for Dads.

iscream · 13/05/2011 07:37

Dad saves the day! Bravo Dad!

CaveMum · 13/05/2011 07:37

Funniest thread of the year so far!

Well done OP's dad!

zipzap · 13/05/2011 09:28

Hope you took a photo of the 'after' bedroom and monster bird on shed so your dh could see the horror he missed...

HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 09:59

he's dead in the garden Sad

OP posts:
keep · 13/05/2011 10:03

That's sad but half expected.

I hope as he is flapping about in Birdie Heaven that back on earth he was a legend.

RIP Bird.

keep · 13/05/2011 10:03

That he knows he is a legend ^

Psammead · 13/05/2011 10:07

Oh dear. He was probably on his last legs anyway, judging from his odd behaviour.

You could get him stuffed and mounted and keep him on your dresser.

RIP, Jack! Sad

hogsback · 13/05/2011 10:14

How sad. Probably dehydration if he had been stuck indoors with nothing to drink all day :( I love jackdaws, such clever birds.

Buda · 13/05/2011 10:14

Oh dear. Obviously realised that you were not interested in him and you were his one true love so he pined for you. How very sad.

RIP Jack.

HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 10:17

s'not my fault!

He was by the shed door so he must have just fallen off.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 13/05/2011 10:17

You killed him Sad Mean Humperdink. You should have left the bedroom door open so he could have access to bathroom - and filled the sink with water for him.

Hindsight is a great thing isn't it. Grin

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 13/05/2011 10:18

A bird fell off a shed! Mean Humperdink's mean Daddy damaged poor Jack with aggressive towel manoeuvre...........

HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 10:19

I gave him a saucer of water AND I threw food into the bedroom window! I woke up this morning with bird seed embedded in my face!

I will not be blamed!

What do you do with dead birds? Apart from mounting them?

OP posts:
keep · 13/05/2011 10:19

Out of respect I have held a minute's silence.

The Death of the Bird - AD Hope

For every bird there is this last migration;
Once more the cooling year kindles her heart;
With a warm passage to the summer station
Love pricks the course in lights across the chart.

Year after year a speck on the map divided
By a whole hemisphere, summons her to come;
Season after season, sure and safely guided,
Going away she is also coming home;

And being home, memory becomes a passion
With which she feeds her brood and straws her nest;
Aware of ghosts that haunt the heart's possession
And exiled love mourning within the breast.

The sands are green with a mirage of valleys;
The palm-tree casts a shadow not its own;
Down the long architrave of temple or palace
Blows a cool air from moorland scarps of stone.

And day by day the whisper of love grows stronger,
The delicate voice, more urgent with despair,
Custom and fear constraining her no longer,
Drives her at last on the waste leagues of air.

A vanishing speck in those inane dominions,
Single and frail, uncertain of her place.
Alone in the bright host of her companions,
Lost in the blue unfriendliness of space.

She feels it close now, the appointed season:
The invisible thread is broken as she flies;
Suddenly, without warning, without reason,
The guiding spark of instinct winks and dies.

Try as she will the trackless world delivers
No way, the wilderness of light no sign,
The immense and complex map of hills and rivers
Mocks her small wisdom with its vast design.

And darkness rises from the eastern valleys,
And the winds buffet her with their hungry breath,
And the great earth, with neither grief not malice,
Receives the tiny burden of her death.

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 13/05/2011 10:21

Keep - you are awesome.

Mount it Shock Oh, you mean have it stuffed..........

MmeLindt · 13/05/2011 10:25

Mounting it?

Heavens, is it Friday already?

keep · 13/05/2011 10:25

You want to mount a dead bird? We call that 'depraved' where I come from!;)

Bird must be afforded a burial complete with a service whereby those that knew and loved Bird can play tribute and respect.

May I suggest a James Gallway melody to be played at the beginning, and no bird funeral would be complete without All things bright and beautiful.

As it turns to evening and the tears turn to laughter I hope your grief subsides and you dance the night away to The Birdy Song.

It's what he would have wanted.

Psammead · 13/05/2011 10:27

You cpuld stick it in a cage, take it to a pet shop, and have a Humerous Conversation.

Psammead · 13/05/2011 10:28

Surely Morning Has Broken would be more suitable.

keep · 13/05/2011 10:32

Would you like the number of some friends of mine who belong to a lynrd skynnrd tribute band? Their version of Freebird is very good.

MmeLindt · 13/05/2011 10:33

May I suggest As The Bird Flies Home

As the bird flies home to its parent nest,

When the hunter seeks his prey,
O child of God, to thy Father haste,
From the tempter?s snare away.

Refrain

Under His wings thy defense shall be,
He with His feathers shall cover thee,
Cover thee, cover thee,
He with His feathers will cover thee.

When the winds are cold, and the days are long,
And thy soul from care would hide,
Fly back, fly back, to thy Father then,
And beneath His wings abide.

Refrain

Oh, the tranquil joy of that dear retreat,
Where the Savior bids thee rest,
With steadfast hope, and a trusting faith,
In His love secure and blest.

Refrain

?Tis the Lord thy God that to thee has said,
He will guide thee with His eye;
In all thy need, like the weary dove,
To Thy only refuge fly.

Refrain

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