D'y ever wonder how many men have been lost in your ample bosom?

[frumpygrumpy]

PMSL

I didn't want to be the one to do it! I promise next time I will sellotape my fingers.

Working on it dingdong

Kelly I'm so glad she's ok. It's so hard keeping them all in check when you're out with more than two. Half the time I put off going out with them all if I'm alone as it's so stressful. From tomorrow I have a half hour walk each way to DD1s nursery, all along main roads, what fun.

Oh Kelly, that's awful. I have mares about that too, especially about the DTs who can't even walk yet! It's the small boy thing scaring me.

I was supposed to be doing my accounts, but Mars mailed me to talk to to 1B3 and now it's just got too late... Is that a better excuse?? And now DT2 has decided to cry. Will DH get there before me? I don't think so. Ho hum. No accounts tonight then, and best go and take DD to the loo...

Like the salsa clothes idea, but it all means going to shops. A, I have no money, and B, I don't do shops. And C, I can't do shops because I have a buggy which doesn't fit. Hmm. Don't think ebay's going to get something to me in time either. Will have to dig something out of the fancy dress box... Oh, and D, I don't have legs that I want to show just yet, and I do have feet that put holes in a pair of tights just by being in the same room as them. So tell me how I sort that lot out! And shoulder shimmies don't work with breastfeeding boobs. I've tried, and I just end up boxing my ears. Not a good look.

Oh, Pixi - when are you coming down? I was sat at the Ness House pub last night with DH (first time we've been out for a drink for about 2 years, I think) looking over the river at the play park thinking of you. Let me know!

I've not seen FG around for a while. Does anyone know where she is? Missing her wit and wisdom! Should we be worried?

Yes.... it's not right for FG to vanish on us. I'm sure she'll be back soon. Maybe Paolo has abducted her and is keeping her as his sex slave!

Hi Ladies, I haven't a prayer of catching up with the last 6/7 weeks events so will put myself at the back of the class and lurk for a few days whilst I get to grips with what has been happening in the world outside the hospital.

Just to update you I have been discharged from hospital and feel a lot better physically. Mentally think am just about holding it together but there are some serious cracks. I know it is hard for other people and they don't know what to say but some people are hardly acknowledging Benjamin was here. I have lots of cards saying congratulations on your new baby and I had two babies and people seem to want to brush him under the carpet IYSWIM. It means a lot when you said I will still be a multiple mum.

Ben is being collected by the funeral director tomorrw so I will go and get him dressed on Thursday and his funeral is next Wednesday.

George has been transferred to my local hospital. He is now 3lb 5.5oz and is still being tube fed with supplementary breastfeeds and cup feeds. After avoiding caffeine since 2004 due to being pregnant/breastfeeding George is now on caffeine to help stimulate his heart. They have said this is not unusual in preterm babies though as he has had a couple of deceerations.

I am at home instead if staying in hospital to try to get things back to normal for Annabel. She has handled things really well and is a bit clingy but overall she has been brilliant. I think it is important for her to get back to normal although disciplining her is awkward as she runs off to daddy so we are trying to present a united front so I do not seem like the bad guy. It is lovely to see how their relationship has strengthened in my absence though.

I have asked a query re whether they may be identical on a previous topic if anyone has any advice re this please let me know.

I have posted a picture of both boys on my profile page if anyone wants to have a little look. George is in a blue hat, Ben is on the right.

Cheers CM

Charleymouse, what a lovely picture of the two of them. The one of George on his own makes him look so tiny - can you handle him much?

I suppose nobody wants to be the one to put their foot in it by giving you a 'Congratulations on the birth of your twins' card but I know what you mean, it would give credence to the fact that Ben was with you even if it wasn't for long. I really hope people give you chance to talk about him and acknowledge his memory - people normally wait for you to take the lead which in some ways is an extra burden!

So glad your daughter seems to be handling it well (also a gorgeous photo by the way). Sometimes the younger they are, the better they cope. Your dh sounds very supportive.

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. Lots of hugs (((((((((((((((()))))))))))))

CM, so good to hear from you. You are obviously being incredibly strong at this most difficult time. I'm so sorry that other people are not acknowledging Ben's arrival as well. As everyone has said you are, and always will be, a multiple mum and George will always be a twin. The photo of the two boys together is adorable - I'm so glad for you that you did this both for you and for George in the future.

I don't know if you are aware of it, but TAMBA have a bereavement counselling service - it might help to talk to people who have precise experience of what you are going through. Their website is here . Their phone number is 0800 138 0509.

Will be thinking of you especially on Thursday and next Wednesday. I hope George continues to go from strength to strength and that you can recover soon. (((((((HUGS))))))) to you all.

CM Welcome back my angel.

Can't really add to what the girls have said. You can talk to us about Ben as much as you want. Bubble99 has been exactly where you are... losing a twin at term. The circumstances were different but her situation is the same. Do you want to start a thread for her? Or I could email her and ask her to look out for you.

You're still part of our "family" (I know it sounds corny, but you know what I mean) and we love you and we'll listen to you day and night. Much love and so much respect to you.

I'll be thinking of you (as if I've stopped.... think about you and Ben and George lots) especially during the funeral.

Mars xxx

CM, I tend not to post a lot on this thread but just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your loss and will keep you in my thoughts.

But you ought to speedy! lol

your babies are gorgeous charleymouse! I'm so sorry that people aren't being very understanding. They do look very alike, I can see why you are wondering. Will be thinking of you and wishing you strength. xx

poor ds didn't have a good day at school today, thread is here if anyone has any ideas? I'm really at a loss for what to do. I'm wondering if he is going to be able to cope with full time school, he has come home in a daze.

I know Marslady!

The boys are doing well. They are becoming, shall we say, more challenging in the behaviour department. I'm standing my ground though.

Three weeks ago DT1 decided to test out the sink, plug and taps in the bathroom. The result was water through the kitchen ceiling and part of the lounge. I told him off so severely that he screamed and screamed. I felt bad but at least he won't do it again. The kitchen ceiling needs to be replastered though.

Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.

And twin motherhood at that!!!!!!!

I'm convinced that the reason DT2 is naughty is because DT1 eggs him on. She will help him break into the toilet, hand him the toilet paper and anything else he might like to stuff down the loo and then she stands back. Then when I discover it.... guess who's stood there saying.... Ooh naughty brubba. What did brubba do Mummy? PMSL

Forgot to say... thanks for posting for 1b3. I've sent her my number and hopefully we'll talk tomorrow.

Hey speedy.............. you need to email me for my questionnaire. Help a twin mum out babe!

I have no excuses for my absence.....just life!

Will catch up with you my lovelies tomorrow hopefully but for now a note for charleymouse.

Sweetheart, your boys together look so comfortable and I imagine you will return to this photo time after time. I think it will be a great thing for George to have as he grows so very well done for that. I hope you might take Mars up on her suggestion to give Bubble99 a shout. She lost one of her twins just as I arrived in the MN world and I remember her threads well. I didn't post much, if at all, as I simply didn't have any words to give her at that time, such was my feeling for her loss. Even if others can't bring themselves to mention Benjamin (maybe for fear of putting their feet in it) then I hope you feel you can keep saying his name to people and telling people that you miss him.

I remember returning to work after my granpas funeral. I felt like I was walking about under a raincloud while everyone else went about their lives. Its a horrid feeling.

You are dealing with such a lot honey, missing George I would imagine and struggling to settle in again at home after being away for so long and returning a different person. Annabel will settle, it will be hard feeling she's not relating with you the way she did but thats the joy of little children - they are FICKLE!! Maddening but true.

Keep reminding yourself that life is like being in a wind tunnel right now and that it will change again. Daily visits to the hospital are hard work too. You feel pulled in both directions and want to spend all your time in both places. Whilst you will want to be with George 24/7, do take time to rest and play and just have your own space. You are needing to be seven different people right now and you must keep yourself up the list of priorities to be all those people.

One last thing. A friend of mine lost her husband at christmas. They have 3 very young children. Even though her 3 children attended the funeral, she has made a little file about it so that she can remember everything about the day and answer their questions as they grow. What they wore, how many people came, who came, what they said about their daddy, what the weather was like, the good bits and the sad bits. You can forget so quickly and its good to have even if you end up never needing it. Merely a thought.....

You are in the gang sweetheart. Always will be. Now, lets give George his proper title can we? Is he DT1 or DT2? Give him our best and know that he and Benjamin are never far from our thoughts xxx. Sleep tight honey.

hey baby, wanna dream with me tonight

sorry Mars, the moment just carried me away.

Marslady

I'll contact you when I get home later for the questionnaire

Oh charleymouse it's really good to hear from you. The picture of George and Ben is lovely and I think it was a very good decision for all of you. I think of you all the time but you'll esp be in my thoughts tomorrow and next weds. Most people really struggle to know what to say in these situations, I know I do, and I guess they'll be looking to follow your lead.

I also remember Bubble99's posts. I had come onto mumsnet for info on which double buggy to buy for my older two and strayed onto one of her posts. It just about broke my heart but I had no words to say to her. I left the forum for a few years till I found I was expecting twins myself.

there, the place looks better already.

Hello ladies. Hope you are all well, i have been settling back in to Plymouth life and threatening ooogs with a visit, she is not far from me I promised not to take all the children.

Im allowed out again now as i am 36+ weeks but as he is still footling breech im not allowed far from the hospital in case my watres break. Im so upset, it is lovely here and there are so many places i wanted to go to with the kids before this one arrives.

I see the consultant today at 2.10 and fully expect to be booked in for a section They wont let me go overdue as the baby is huge and ds#4 got stuck, i think his only chance of turning is if i go in to labour. As this cant happen im going to have to agree to the section. I know it is the right thing to do but am still disappointed that after saying 'no' to the consultants for years since the twins i now have to go in and say "ok, whatever you think best" Grrrrrrr. Still, i wanted a healthy baby out of this pregnancy not a perfect birth

Hope you are all ok, i have missed you lots xxx

You're right, largeg&t, healthy babies are more important than a perfect plan. I was desperate not to have an epidural with the dts but they made me have one because dt2 was breech - what happened on the day? Had the epi, 30 mins later, dt1 came out, dt2 turned himself round perfectly and shot out too, and then I had to be sat with needles and everything sticking in me for the next four hours without being able to move or clean myself up or anything, for no reason! Grr. Still, all was okay in the end.

So glad you're near the end and hope it happens soon and safely for you xx