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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

993 replies

EisAHandbagaHolic · 15/09/2008 22:26

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

OP posts:
VillageMum · 30/10/2008 11:34

monkeybumsmum, great to hear from you again - yes, RL does slowly seem to be reasserting itself for me too... Glad to hear that your dh is home safe and sound!

barbie, your Dubai plans sound very exciting and it seems as if you'll have a whole range of options on the healthcare front, so I wouldn't worry! Good luck at the GP!

mm, lilac, yes, there are good news post-mc stories out there to give us hope... it does happen!

VickyJane, I don't think the fear of what might go wrong in pg will ever go once you've had a mc, but that doesn't mean that anything will go wrong - we probably have to feel the fear and do it anyway...

Still sticking to our plan not to ttc till next month (tricky though!) and I'm slowly starting to feel a bit more human and as if I could actually cope when the moment comes around. I love the idea of us all being pg in 2009!

barbie1 · 30/10/2008 11:36

Welcome back vm, missed your post over last few days!

barbie1 · 30/10/2008 11:42

So i went to the doctors today and finally got a bit of a break through whoopie!!!
Still no af so we explored the option of maybe having an infection which could be causing the pain and the discharge, so i did a urine test and a swab test.
The doctor has also referred me for another scan to check size of cyst...
So in less then two weeks i should have some answers, i know its 2 weeks too long but at least someone is finally listening to me.
I really really want my af, because if dh is coming home we can ttc conceive again almost straight away

vm im so glad that you are feeling better, i have missed you, using you are the one with all the good advice! at the thought of all of us being pregnant in 2009

mm are you day off today? post some pics on your profile!

Well ive been to the doctors, stripped the bed, done a load of washing and been for an hours walk with the dog all before 11.30! now i just have to sort out 4 weeks worth of paper work for work, paint the bathroom, go to the gym and visit a supermarket....

VillageMum · 30/10/2008 11:48

barbie, that is such good news - I'm so glad that you're finally getting some medical attention and not just getting the brush off. You'll soon have it sorted! Well done! You will get a proper AF, don't worry - I'd say in just over 2 weeks, going by your recent dates?

barbie1 · 30/10/2008 11:53

do you think? i do hope so its been 45 days erpc but i did have that spotting, so i guess that could of been my af for that month? i will let you know if you prediction is correct, see you are so full of wisdom!

VillageMum · 30/10/2008 12:03

barbie, yes, I think that spotting was your AF. That was about 2 weeks ago now, wasn't it? And you say you're having lots of CM now - could be sign of an infection (what colour is it?), but equally could be ov? So hang on in there and see what happens in 2-3 weeks! Fingers crossed! x

barbie1 · 30/10/2008 12:52

the spotting was on the 10th/11th and discharge is white/creamy! sorry for those eating lunch as you read this!
vm so im i correct in thinking that you ovulate about 14 days after first day of af, and then you you should have af about 14 days post ovualting> in total about 28 days

VillageMum · 30/10/2008 14:04

Hi barbie, hmm, that's 3 weeks already since your spotting. White/creamy (odourless)discharge is typically the CM you should get just before ov (see if it becomes clear and stretchy, like eggwhite, in a few days' time - if so, that sounds very promising and I'd say ov is then happening! Have you thought of trying one of those OPKs yet, by the way?) Yellow and bad smelling discharge might indicate an infection - but your GP is checking for that anyway so you're covered.

I think you said once that your periods were irregular? That suggests that your ov time in each cycle differs (and it may be a little thrown now anyway because of your mc). The average cycle, starting on cd1 which is counted as the first day of full bleeding, consists of what's called a follicular phase (when the follicles are slowly maturing and getting ready to release an egg or ovum), followed by ovulation around cd14, and then what's called the luteal phase (during which the follicle forms a corpus luteum that secretes progesterone in case that egg has been fertilised), lasting another 14 days or so. If the egg hasn't been fertilised, the corpus luteum begins to disintegrate, your progesterone levels go down, and the womb lining that's been building up nicely is shed, resulting in the next AF. So 28 days in all. But that's just the average, and how many women are really average? Not me! I ov on cd17 and have a luteal phase of 13 days, so a 30 day cycle. The trick is to get to know when you personally ovulate - some women are earlier than cd14 and others later - and how long your own luteal phase is. And as I say, our cycles are probably not yet back to normal yet because of our mcs. So yes, you may be ovulating now... I'd still guess that your next AF will turn up in about 2 weeks... I really hope it does! x

VickyJane77 · 30/10/2008 16:12

Hi
lilac I'm 32 in the spring too, and I too would like to pg now, but like you say it's because we would have been...
barbie I'm glad you've had a break through at the docs, i'm off to see mine tomorrow morning, not sure what to expect as they won't do anything yet as I've only had 2 mc's...not that I want a third.
Just got in from work and I'm shattered, i've only done paperwork today, but I think it's all the effort of putting on a brave face and pretending everything is ok.

mermaidspurse · 30/10/2008 16:22

Afternoon ladies, it is soooo cold here today cooking a sausage and guiness casserole and feeling domestic.
vm I can see you are feeling better as you are back to your ace nuggets of medical/biology facts which makes us all think we should know this stuff and thank our lucky stars you do!
barbie exciting times ahead, I knew a midwife who went and worked out in Dubai, she got more money out there. I am fairly certain that their hospitals are beacons of western science. You will be ok as long as you dont try making babies on a deck chair on a public beach!
lilac it is scary, but surround yourself with positive feelings and cross absolutely everything xx
vickyjaneI have wondered about asprin, its an interesting thought, am waiting for an appointment to come through. It takes me so long to get pregnant though. This time it was 17 months, ohh having writen that down it looks forever! so I am not expecting it to happen this year
4eversending heaps of hugs your way sweetie
mmglad you are doing ok.
opps burnt the sausages, got to go!

Sabs1981 · 30/10/2008 16:40

Just a quick note to say hello to all.

Feeling very very down, as I got my 1st period since my miscarriage. Am at work, but keep on running to the loo to cry Is bringing back all the memories of what happened to me 5 weeks ago and what I lost.

Will try to catch up again later on this evening

mermaidspurse · 30/10/2008 16:54

sabssending out big hugs to you sweetie. That first period is a nasty milestone and does bring it all back. Its such early days dont be hard on yourself, its a process of grieving and being able to let go as slowly as you need. Get chocolate on the way home. at least you wont be sitting down to my casserole its looking very.... rustic.....hmmmm more guiness

VickyJane77 · 30/10/2008 17:49

Hi sabs thinking of you. xx

VillageMum · 30/10/2008 20:48

mermaid, haha yes, the white coat is on again! I feel I can't escape the biological realities at the moment as I'm just about to ov BUT will be trying to AVOID getting pg in this cycle thanks to this oh so brilliant (argh!) idea of waiting the month out - feels totally counterintuitive but I guess it's doing me good if I am starting to lecture everyone again (sorry barbie!)... sabs, you're not alone. When I got my first AF again after my mc I went into total meltdown - thought I had it all under control but then the bleeding started and I became a basket case. Remember that your hormones are dipping at the moment too, which makes things harder. Be easy on yourself. Sending you a big hug...

VickyJane, good luck at the doctor tomorrow!

VickyJane77 · 30/10/2008 20:54

thanks vm, I was just thinking how quiet it is in here tonight, then you arrived yeah!, but I'm off to bed now with a good old trashy book, I'm soooooo tired.

VillageMum · 30/10/2008 20:57

VickyJane, sounds like a good idea! I think I'm bedward bound too if I can wrestle ds into his (stil running around in his pjs as it's half term!)

sausagemcgrah · 30/10/2008 23:03

Hi everyone,

Just checking in quickly after a pumpkin carving and biscuit baking frenzy. Will read through properly tomorrow, but hope you're all doing okay. I'm okay but finding it all so hard. Wish I could just fast forward a couple of months.

Anyway - goodnight all.

barbie1 · 31/10/2008 10:59

hello girls, happy halloween sadly im working until 9 this evening so wont get time to enjoy but i hope you all have a good one

scary hugs from barbie xxxx

mm1509 · 31/10/2008 11:08

Morning everyone

sabs hope you are feeling better but I know what you mean about bring it all back, what looks like my first AF has made an appearance and it is exactly like the beginning of my last mc. It's only been two weeks since my ERPC so not sure what is going on with my body atm. Take care.

barbie glad you are finally getting somewhere with the doctors, now you can get some answers. Sounds like you are getting some more good advice from vm. Will try later and post some photos if not today then over the weekend. Glad we chatted the other night, you always put a smile on my face.

vm sounds like you are back on track hun, so good to hear you sounding upbeat again. Hope you are enjoying half term with ds, are you ready for all the trick or treating.

vicky Hope my your glass of wine went down well the other night , it was good chatting. Goodluck with the doctors visit today, let us know how you get on.

sausage sorry you are finding it hard, I guess it's just the process we need to go through but if there was a fast forward button I think many of us would be using it. Take care.

mermaid Hope the casserole went down well, sounds like good winter food when it is soooo coooold atm.....yummy.

4ever how are you doing hun.

mbm don't stay away so long, you are missed.

circular hope you are good.

mollie have been feeling guilty as I didn't have my me time after I promised you, I will try and get some today but have a list as long as my arm that I don't want to be doing over the weekend. You have made me try and plan some RL just seems to be so busy atm.

Didn't get a chance to post yesterday and last night dh and I had some much needed couple time, we haven't seen much of each other this week and when we have one of us has just been too tired so last night sat down had dinner and a bottle glass of wine together. I feel as if I am playing constant catch up with RL atm, I don't know if it is just a busy time or if I am just struggling a bit, everything just seems to be taking over atm. There has just been so much on, dd birthday, family visiting from the states, going back to work, halloween (been going on for a week in this house) and on top of that dh has had to work extra hours atm due to moving premises, I suppose when I look at it the way I feel is not too surprising.
Like I mentioned earlier AF looks like it has made an appearance but vm do you think this is my AF, can it appear just two weeks after the ERPC. It is bringing a lot back, it is very light and looks exactly how my mc started more brown that red atm, sorry if tmi. I wasn't expecting it this quick but am doing ok just takes you back a bit I guess.

Hugs and waves to anyone I missed, take care everyone mm xxx

barbie1 · 31/10/2008 11:21

mm im going to be late for work but who cares! it could be your af, i had it just two weeks after as well.....just wanted to say that so you know you arent going mad!!
Barbie vanishes nto to been seen again until after dark........

mm1509 · 31/10/2008 11:25

Thanks barbie don't work too hard hun .

VickyJane77 · 31/10/2008 11:49

Hi I went to the doctors this morning, she said it was probably just bad luck having the 2 mc's in a row, and the one thing on my side is ds. She did take some blood to do a coagulation (not sure if that's spelt right) test, she will ring me with the results in a couple of weeks. I came away feeling quite positive .
mm and barbie, did you really have af after just 2 weeks. 1st time af arrived after 5 weeks, that was after erpc. This time mc happened naturally, and I'm coming up to the 2 week mark, and I've been having some cramps, but I thought it was too early for af.

mm1509 · 31/10/2008 11:58

vicky glad you feel good after doctors appointment sounds like you have a good doctor, it makes all the difference. I didn't have any cramps but looks like I have my AF, don't know quite what to make of it tbh as I also thought it was too early. After my last mc my AF arrived after 4 weeks but the last mc physically was very different. Not too worried either way as we are actively not ttc yet but would like to know what my body is doing.

VickyJane77 · 31/10/2008 12:05

I'm quite looking forward to af so I know where i'm at with dates etc. We are not ttc until after Christmas, but it's still good to know that your body is back on track.

mm1509 · 31/10/2008 12:07

I know what you mean our bodies have been so 'up in the air' atm that I kind of just want some sense of normal. It is still a horrible reminder when it comes though.