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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

993 replies

EisAHandbagaHolic · 15/09/2008 22:26

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

OP posts:
Original poster
EisAHandbagaHolic · 16/09/2008 21:16

maybe this or is this too obvious??
xx ei xx

OP posts:
MollieMooma · 16/09/2008 21:22

OK this is the closest I can find, basically the outline of the star is formed by the shading making it a negative tattoo, as my experience has been negative thought that it would be appropriate, considering two on my foot, but nicer than this one

monkeybumsmum · 16/09/2008 21:24

Thanks Mollie and Ei...

I LOVE Rhianna's tattoo's - hadn't seen those before. Don't know if I'd be brave enough to have them on show though. Don't think I'd want people asking about them and having to explain. I already have a tattoo on my ankle, just of a tiny flower, and if that wasn't already taken I'd have it there as not many people notice it.

Love the wings

MollieMooma · 16/09/2008 21:24

Subtle!
You know the tattoo inside the lip, well my BIL has one there, he had tattooed the word this so he's asks everyone have you seen this? and then pulls down his lip! Bless! Apparently though it hurt far less than any of the others and heals well quick
By the way he also has Legend or Leg end on the sole of his foot

monkeybumsmum · 16/09/2008 21:25

Mollie what a great idea. It's very appropriate, and looks lovely.

MollieMooma · 16/09/2008 21:26

Monkey Snap! I have a small flower on my ankle and a heart (copy of Anthony Kiedis tattoo) on my back, I'm not keen on having them hugely on show either, but as I never take off my socks (strange foot phobia) then I could probably get away with my foot

MollieMooma · 16/09/2008 21:27

Monkey Snap! I have a small flower on my ankle and a heart (copy of Anthony Kiedis tattoo) on my back, I'm not keen on having them hugely on show either, but as I never take off my socks (strange foot phobia) then I could probably get away with my foot

monkeybumsmum · 16/09/2008 21:31

LOL re socks! What, you NEVER take them off?

Think your foot sounds perfect, but isn't it meant to hurt more there? I'm such a wuss when it comes to pain!

MollieMooma · 16/09/2008 21:40

No never, only in the shower, even kept them on on my wedding night DH has just got used to it now (can't believe I'm sharing this ) Yeah I think you're right about it being painful there as there is not much fat it's straight through to bone, might have to rethink that one!
Right I'm off to bed now, sleep well all and thanks for such a lovely chat, perfect combination heartfelt feelings and some lighthearted banter

monkeybumsmum · 16/09/2008 21:58

Night Mollie. It's nice to know someone else has a foot phobia out there - mine's about others peoples though. Can't bear them!

Sleep well x

cricri · 17/09/2008 08:45

Thanks to Ei for starting this thread, it seems to be helping already. Welcome to barbie1 and Monkeybumsmum and sorry to hear of your losses. These ladies are wonderful though and their support has been invaluable to me over the past few months.
I feel like a bit of a fraud posting on here being 33 weeks pg, but today is the anniversary of my mmc last year and I wanted to mark the date in some way [sad[ I like Mollie's idea of lost LOs coming back the next time - that's very comforting. Perhaps first time around she wasn't quite ready but now she is...

MollieMooma · 17/09/2008 09:22

CriCri As we told TeeHee it doesn't matter if you are currently pg, you still had to suffer losses to get there and you are more than welcome in our little room, to sit on our sofa and have lots of cake! I hope today passes easily for you, I expect you will take the time to reflect on what has happened and your difficult journey. Sending you a hug

cricri · 17/09/2008 10:12

Thanks Mollie Hope you're OK - have been thinking about you and Sparkly a lot in recent days. I guess this sad anniversary brings it all back
Out of 7 ladies in my NCT group, I found out on Monday that 4 of us have suffered mcs... about the same proportion as in Emmsy's waiting room I think

MollieMooma · 17/09/2008 10:25

It's not good statistically is it but let's just hope we all get what we want in the end. I'm OK thanks, just got to get through this week and then I've got 2 weeks off work, and it can't come soon enough Take it easy x

NarkySparkly · 17/09/2008 10:44

I am here, lurking.

Found it impossible to sleep last night. Had too much on my mind combined with weird dreams - one of them being all of these beauitful boys and girls playing together in a peaceful place..I should be greatful that my dreams aren't as graphic as they could be, but they are all very anxious.

DP has gone back to work today and DD is in nursery. I am planning on leaving the house to meet my dear friend (who had a stillborn recently - some of you know about her) so I'm sure we'll give each other lots of support over lunch.

I haven't felt emotional since we found out I was miscarrying - I did have a few tears last night though and some more this morning but I am mainly feeling numb.

I irrationally keep thinking that something might happen to my beautiful DD and I won't be able to live without her - especially because I don't have any baby to live for at the moment....such strange thoughts.

I haven't really explained how Monday went....lots of blood and loss in the early hours followed by an ambulance at 430am when the pain was awful. My sister came to look after DD. Gas&air in the ambulance which didn't help with the pain. A very brief stop in A&E before being moved to the treatment room in emergency gynae (there were no beds). A doctor tried to use a spectrum but didn't inset it properly which really hurt and had to re-do it...she then insisted on examining me with her hand as well...very invasive.

I saw the lovely mummsy lady I saw last week and she gave me a scan - it was an internal and I was bleeding everywhere but she was very, very supportive. She confirmed that I had passed the sac but that the miscarriage was not complete. I was dosed up on tramadol and co-dydramol at this point so I couldn't even manage to get my PJs on myself - thank god for my lovely DP.

They found us a bed..lots of bleeding and cramps all day. Had to go to loo on bedpan but couldn't wee because my body was expelling so much blood.

They needed to check my iron levels but 2 nurses tried and couldn't get blood from my deep veins (I really didn't mind - I'm so used to it) so another came and got a small amount on her second try. They talked about a blood transfusion because I was so pale and weak but my iron levels was 12 - the highest I've ever known it.

They wanted to keep me in overnight but I couldn't wait to see DD and come home.
They haven't checked my HcG levels once - is this ok?

Sorry for such a long post, I hope the things I've written don't bring back too many painful memories for you lovely ladies...I really needed to get them off my chest.

Barbie and monkeybum Welcome ladies. You will love it here. These ladies are fab and will support you so much (and of course I will too).

I am so sorry for all of our losses, it saddens me to know that so many of us have experienced miscarriages but am so pleased we can all support each other.

cricri Am thinking of you today xxxx

Last but not least, a massive thank you to Mollie for the texts, even though I know you're still struggling with your own losses. Thank you so much for thinking of me, you are a true friend and I will never be able to repay you for your kindness.
Teehee Have missed chatting to you too and can't wait to have a catch up. Look after yourself and beanie - is it only a week until your scan?
And, Ei Thank you for always being there and for this wonderful thread. I'm so excited - can't wait for my package .

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

NarkySparkly · 17/09/2008 10:44

That really was such a long post .

cricri · 17/09/2008 11:43

Sparkly I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrendous experience in hopsital in addition to the actual trauma of actually suffering a mc It's going to take you a while to recover physically so please take it easy. As for feeling numb, I would say this is entirely normal, it's shock I guess. I think of mc as very much like a bereavement - you go through the various stages (shock, denial etc) and how long each one takes is very personal. There's no right and no wrong - I didn't cry very much at all for example, but felt really down for weeks and MN helped me a lot to work through my feelings and realise that I wasn't alone.
Have a good lunch with your friend - it's great you have somebody in RL to support you through this in addition to us. It will help a lot.
I'm very touched that you're thinking of me when you have so much on your plate at the moment - please take care of yourself, DP and DD. xx

MollieMooma · 17/09/2008 12:18

Sparkly I'm glad you feel ready to share the details, can't believe what a terrible time you've experienced, like CriCri said m/c alone is bad enough but when it goes tits up it's even worse. As I keep telling you just take it one day at a time, and keep posting anything you want here, as you can see from our conversations last night we had a good heart to heart on this thread and it was very therapeutic Look after yourself, let DP pamper you and hug DD lots. I think the thoughts you've been having about your lovely DD are completely understandable, your emotions are in turmoil, you are still hormonal too (and they never help) You have been through an awful experience, which you will never forget but it will get easier and you will stop having irrational thoughts, and you will have another baby - we all will PMA PMA ladies x

teeheelaydee · 17/09/2008 15:01

Sparkly Isn't Ei a star for starting this thread - just when you need it. We will catch up soon no doubt for a good chat.

Cricri Thinking of you and your little lost one today. Today is the same point in my pg when I had my scan to confirm mmc so I also feel a bit strange. I guess we have to cross these hurdles off the list. It's OK to take a moment no matter how many weeks you are now. One doesn't replace the other iyswim.

On a lighter note Emmsy's angels does keep making me think of Charlie's angels and it makes me

barbie1 · 17/09/2008 16:04

thankyou for your ideas to help me remember, not that i need reminding of course but i do like your ideas! a tattoo, thats brilliant...so who is going to be the bravest and get it done first?! (wink)
i have always wanted a tat on my foot and after reading for threads i think i might of just found the perfect excuse! i will of course wait until one of you does it first......today it feels like ive been run over by a steam train, my body is aching so much, strangly its my chest and throat, i ran the hospital only to be told "of course it will hurt dear, that where they put the tube" news to me!
i think it would be a nice idea to introduce ourselves a little, although we all seem to know someone from another thread it would be nice to know a little about you all.....

HeyThereGeorgieGirl · 17/09/2008 19:16

Hello everyone. Just a quick one tonight from me as off out to see The Women at the cinema.

MB'sMum Hi. Welcome to the thread. So sorry that you've experienced another mc. It's totally shite. But we're here with the armchairs and tissues to help you thru. However and whenever you need us. Be kind to yourself. And don't ever think there's anything you can't speak about on here. Rule 1 of this thread is to be honest.

Sparkly Oh my love. What a complete crappy experience for you. It's just so undignified isn't it. Allow yourself to feel (or not( whatever you need to. I remember feeling terribly numb after 2nd mc. I cried when I found out then kind of bottled everything else up and it didn't really 'hit' me until 3 months later. Glad you could get it all out on here. I really think writing it all down helps tremendously.

cricri My thoughts are with you today. I've got a due date coming up in Otc (when 2nd one would have been born0 and I'm dreading it. I so hope I'm pg by then. Come here any time you need to chat. I think these experiences of mc have left a lasting impression with all of us. It's not something you forgot easily.

Mollie Hello my little tattoo buddy . Have also got 3 tatts. V small rose on hip (first act of rebellion aged 22) then chinese symbol for year of the snake (Mollie) and year of dog (Libby) on the the small of my back. LOVE them. Would get more, but worried about looking too trailer trash!

Barbie1 Really sorry that you're feeling so awful today. And rather angry at the hospital for being so blase about how you are feeling. Apart from the physical symptoms, how are you doing emotionally? And it looks like we've pretty much all got tatts apart from you. So you've got to get one now to be part of the gang!!!!! Will tell you anything you want to know. Ask away!

MollieMooma · 17/09/2008 20:25

Georgie Enjoy the film, Meg Ryan used to be one of my favourite actresses til her trout pout incident
CriCri Hope today went as well as it could
Barbie Come on get the tattoo As you'd like to know a bit more about us I will start, the others probably know most of it as we are together on a TTC thread.
I have been with my DH for 6 yrs, married for 4, no children yet and the "fun" of trying is starting to wear a little thin We were TTC for two years before we got pg Dec 07 had mm/c Jan 08 9 wks, pg again July 08 and mm/c Aug 08 11 wks. I work at a Jobcentre and I'm totally addicted to MN since I found it Dec last year. These girls have been an absolute godsend, for all sorts of problems. So stick around and enjoy the fun

barbie1 · 17/09/2008 20:44

thanks mollie!...i have a tattoo already, its a kind of sun thingy?! on the base of my back...mum and i went together as she was told she had breast cancer, she loves sun flowers so i thought i might mean something (even though i didnt have an actual sunflower!) that was years ago on my 21st birthday im now 28 but ill never forget how much it bloody hurt!!! but i would like one on my foot...nearly went today, but when i finally got out of bed i realised it might take me a while to get back to my normal self in order to leave the house, maybe next week???
More about me, ive been with my dh 6 years, married since may this year, no children yet after mmc this week (sad) we did however fall pregnant within a few weeks of getting married (wink) im from sunny devon but moved up to newcastle last september for dh work, due to move again within the next 12 months....i work for estee lauder as an account manager although beauty therapist by trade.
Hello to everyone i havent meet yet, big hugs to you all xxx

barbie1 · 17/09/2008 20:46

oh dear why wont my smileys work??? (grin)

teeheelaydee · 17/09/2008 20:48

I really want to see that film Georgie. Let me know what you make of it. Might go next Wednesday on my day off, I love going to cinema during the day on my own. It feels so decadent (sp?)

Barbie Quick background for me, I am 33 (until next week - ) been with DP for 12 years, ttc since Jan 07. I've had a m/c at 6 weeks in June 07, a mmc at 10 weeks in Oct 07 and my last m/c at 6 weeks in Feb 08. All got a bit much and had 3 months off work this year, but have been back since July and feeling much better. Am now 10 weeks pg again and keeping everything crossed that this will be the sticky one. Joined MN when I was pg with No2 and it really came into it's own when I m/c and again now as makes me realise am not alone in this drama, plus you can moan, giggle and cry without leaving your house!