emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

mm, I think this should be your AF now and it all sounds about right - your hormones should have started firing up again after your first ERPC so that's the one to count from (or so my consultant told me after my first, and so it proved - the second made no difference; AF came 5 weeks after the first.)

barbie, did that spotting really happen just two weeks after your ERPC? I thought you had the ERPC in mid September, or am I all muddled? Just thinking back to our earlier chat, when we were trying to work out what the spotting could be... if it came about 4 weeks after your ERPC then that makes it all the more likely that it really was your AF. How are you feeling, BTW? You sound cheerful as ever!

sausage, I'd love a fast forward button! What a great idea! I'd love to skip ahead to about 2 weeks from now. But then I think: I'm actually wishing my life away. Wish I had a little more zen-like patience. Hope you're feeling OK today...

VickyJane, so glad you had a good experience at the doctor today and that she's doing that test; it all helps!

Must go an make Pay-Doh pumkins now; have a great evening everyone x

Hello lovely ladies, not been posting much as really busy at work and been out every night (such a social butterfly )

4Ever Glad you felt better getting things off your chest this week with us. Please don't feel you can't do your long posts as we all need to get things out in the open on a daily/weekly basis, feel free to share
VM I wish you luck on the letting go of pain experience, I seem to want to keep torturing myself by watching things I know will upset me, or making myself think of things that will hurt. It's madness but I can't stop
Vicky Glad things went well at the Docs for you and that you are feeling a little more positive.
Barbie How are you sweets? I think VM is probably right with the guestimate on your AF, before m/c when you were TTC were you charting?
MM Hurray for AF appearing, another milestone for you. Have you decided to TTC again straightaway?
Mermaid Mmmm sausage & guiness caserole What's on the menu tonight?
Circular Hope you are OK?
Sabs How are you feeling?
Waves and hugs to everyone and those I haven't mentioned.
Well I am on CD6 and AF is still bloody well here! Not that it makes much difference as not TTC til after consultants appt in December, but there's nothing like outstaying your welcome
Had my last free counselling session through work this week but think I will try to continue seeing her, finances willing even if it's not as regular as it has been as she has been a life saver. Also plucked up the courage to go and see newly pg SIL this week, it felt a little awkward neither of us talked about "it" so next time I will have to get it all out in the open as I don't want it to affect our relationship.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend planned x

Hi to all,hoping your halloween's are going well (or your day if you don't like h).

After the posts I'm wondering now if I did have an AF or not. ERPC on 15th, little bleeding, stopped on 17th-18th. Then on 25th in evening it started really heavy, very bright red (literally running out for about 2 hrs - sorry if TMI), then fairly heavy for 2 days, lighter for 2 more, no pain. My normal periods area normally a lot lighter, but with lots of pains. I do have weird cycles normally tho

I'm still waiting for feedback to see if I had a molar pregnancy, so was hoping this was def AF as maybe couldn't be molar (or maybe was, but no dodgy cells left in me). Do you think could still have been the after-effects or ERPC though? Anyone had this?

I've spent lots of day near a 5 week old (halloween party), hard, but a same time feels like I've started to go through pain of seeing other peoples' babies. I think it may be harder in May-June time.

Good weekend smiley, as want to end on a positive:

Hello everyone, hope you've all had a good week. It's been a busy week for me with it being half-term, lots of ferrying kids about to various places and little me-time!! Still, back to routine on Monday....

sabs - I've yet to have af post-mc so don't yet know what it'll be like but hope you're feeling a bit better now.

vicky - glad the trip to the doc's was a positive experience and fingers crossed for helpful test results in due course.

mm - when I left hospital, the nurse told me that af should return within 2-6wks, so your af is within her range?

Incidentally, the nurse also said that if af has not returned 10wks after the D&C, then to see a doctor - out of interest, what would the doctor do? Take blood? Do some tests?

vm - hope you're feeling a bit better now. It's November tomorrow, so only a few more weeks to wait until you can start ttc again!

mollie - I must be naive, but I didn't realise that you had to pay for counselling?! Is it very expensive? I think it's crap that such a service is not provided on the NHS.

lilac - I don't know the answer to your question but I'm sure somebody with more experience will be along soon!

I've spent a couple of afternoons this week in indoor soft-play centres (as you do during half-term) and at one session there was a lady cradling her almost 6wk old baby boy on the sofa next to mine (I overheard her telling somebody else how old he was) - he was sooooo cute!! It made me feel all broody again...there were also so many really cute toddlers around too. It was a bitter-sweet feeling in some ways; bitter because of my recent mc and sweet because I actually enjoyed watching all the little ones having fun and watching the 6wk old's body language (you forget the details don't you). My thinking now is to relax and to see what happens - if for whatever reason, I don't manage to have another successful pg, then at least when I'm 60yrs+, I'll be able to say I tried and if I do have another successful pg, then too!!

That's the theory anyway

Hello everyone, i have just finished work and fingers crossed missed all the treat or treaters, im so tired it really is xmas in the retail world! so many post that i can not speak to you all one to one but im thinking of you all and will get around to it over the weekend....

In answer to mm and vm questions i had eprc on the 15th and the spotting started 22 days later so just a little over two weeks, today i have had period pains so fingers crossed that it will show soon,

And to answer mollie No hun when we were trying to conceive we just went for it! well we were in our honeymoon after all the only charting i do is to see who makes number 1 on a sunday evening!! no seriously i dont think ill be so good at all that stuff, i guess ill just really on good old sex when ever i feel like it and hope for the best! although i might think other wise in a few months when you lot start getting the bfp!!!!

22 days isnt a little over 2 weeks its 3 bloody weeks! sorry about that, my only excuse is that im blonde!!!

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a good Halloween.

Thanks for all the positive messages everyone. I took another pregnancy test yesterday, as it was 4 weeks to the day of misscarriage - and it was still positive. So I rang the gynae unit at the hospital again where I was seen before, and spoke to a very lovely nurse who has booked me in for Wednesday morning. It's very confusing. She said that as the bleeding etc stopped so quickly after the medical management, and I had no further problems, then I should have tested negative after the bleeding stopped (weeks ago). She therefore said she thought I was pregnant again, but that I'd have to go in for tests. I don't think I'm pregnant again, as the first test I did was after 3 weeks, and we didn't have sex that early (I don't think?) Hmmmmm. So confusing. So - as usual - hurry up Wednesday. Any ideas on here anyone?

How's everyone else doing?

Mollie, I've done the torturing myself thing too. If you find it's leading you into a permanently depressed state of mind then you could try stepping back by deliberately focusing on a positive counterthought every time those negative ones roll around. I know it's tough to challenge them, though, and sometimes easier said than done... Hope you aren't feeling too down. What is it specifically that's worrying you? Do share if you'd like to (but only if) and if it helps.

sausage, good for you for getting back to the hospital. Waiting for tests is horrible but you'll have the answer soon... Do you think you could be pg? What do your instincts say?

lilac, I wouldn't have thought that was your AF so soon after the ERPC as it would take at least 3 weeks for the hormone chain to do its thing (build up to ovulation, breaking up of endometrium etc). You might still have had a few clots after the ERPC which your body expelled naturally. No pain is good (suggests no infection). How do you feel now?

Circular, I'm really touched that you should remember that we'll be ttc later this month! Yes, I woke up this morning and thought, November is here! In the meanwhile I'm looking back to going swimming again once half term is over - it really is doing me good. Oddly enough I feel fitter than I have for a long while (or is it just the vitamins?! )

sabs and VickyJane, hope you're feeling OK...

and barbie and mm of course! ((hugs))

VM One of the women at work her daughter is pg and I have to keep asking how things are, it' like when you have a sore on your finger and you keep pressing it. Gosh I've been to the pub and I hav to say that I am rather drunk! So I hope I make sense! Alcohol numbs things but it doesn't make it better
Saugsage OMG do you want to be pg again? If so I will cross everything if not I will cross everything in another way x

mollie glad you are enjoying yourself and have had a few drinks, have one for me would you???!

Hi All, I'm doing well in the daytime now, but night is another matter!

VM - I feel ok now, so wonder if it was AF, or as you say linked to ERPC. I'm still waiting results from tests, and will be interested in Sausage's feedback as I tested positive weeks after ERPC too. Haven't tested again now as if still said positive I'd feel sad (as know not true) and if saw neg would feel bad too: can't win at mo with those sticks!

Can't TTC until after feedback (i.e. check it wasn't molar as will need blood tests if was), and dh says at least until after Xmas, may well say longer then, but I keep thinking I want to try right now.

Sorry, I'm being negative here, in day I can be really positive, but at night I'm finding it hard not to think in terms of having my baby taken away from me (the dream of having one this summer).

CircularRainbow, In day I often feel like you, I would like to know that I had tried, and if didn't happen again it wasn't meant to be. This morning I woke up after having a dream about shopping in the January sales, so I guess part of me is not thinking all the time about babies at night too.

Hope everyone else is well and will try to pop back here soon. x

Hello, I've had my 21weeks pregnant sil visiting this weekend, and actually having a lovely weekend with her, her kids have been a welcome distraction. I've woken up this morning deternmined to lose some weight, so I'm going to try dieting during Novemeber, ready for Chritmas, then after that we will be ttc.....hows that for a positive plan!
Hope everyone else is having a nice weekend.

Gosh its quiet in here this weekend ladies, i hope youare all having a nice few days...
Ive been painting and im now taking a well deserved rest.
Good luck this week to everyone having visits to the doctors/ hospital...i hope we are all feeling positive

mm where are you my lovely, not heard from you in a while, hope you are ok

to everyone

Im off to finish the painting xxx

Lilac It's a shame we can't have a tap to turn our emotions and feelings on and off as they do have a habit of creeping up on us when we least expect it. Hope you feel a little cheerier today
Vicky Glad things went OK with SIL
Barbie Hope you have put the paintbrush away and are relaxing.

Feeling rather delicate after my drunken debauchery yesterday! Went into town with DH to do some shopping but ended up in the pub instead, got home very drunk at 6pm, so early to be legless! Just about managed to watch X factor then passed out! Oops! Oh well, may as well do it while I can

Mollie glad to hear you're living it up rather than brooding! Has to be good!

VickyJane, your plan sounds great!

lilac, I know the waiting to ttc is hard - I feel the same - just hang in there until you get some feedback from the doctor; Christmas isn't far away now...

barbie, sounds as if you've turned into a dynamo! Have you heard any more from dh?

Went swimming again today - I'm feeling well physically and am starting to believe that I may just be ready to try for pg again later this month (touch wood - hope there are no nasty repeat meltdowns around the corner!) x

vm im so glad that you are feeling better, fingers crossed for you ttc this month, i wonder if you will be the first in a long line of bfp? Here's hoping!
Dh should 99% be home for christmas so we can bring forward ttc to dec! so excited.....
Not too sure about being a dynamo im going to flop on the sofa any minute, i havent stopped over the last few weeks and now i think i have over done it and will soon get a cold
Just been told i have to be in work for 7.30 in the morning meaning the dog walking will be at 5.30 in the dark, not looking forward to that i can tell you xxx

Hi everyone,

Hope you have all had a good weekend. We've had a very relaxed one, but been in all day today because of the horrid weather and got cabin fever now! The house is also trashed making 'dens' etc!

VM - Well done with all the swimming. I think feeling well physically is such a huge part of feeling ready to TTC again. I wish I could get motivated to swim. I do love it when I get there. I think you've inspired me to try!

molliemooma - Ha ha your weekend sounds fun - I hope you're feeling better now!

lilacpink - I don't think I'll be able to give you any answers, as I am sooooooooooooooooo confused myself! The latest update is that despite getting a positive test as recently as Friday, today I started to bleed. It's just over 4 weeks since the miscarriage, so all points towards my period, except that It is incredibly light. I have all the pains and aches of a period (very strongly so in fact!) but hardly any bleeding at all.

Can I ask - What were your periods like when they returned? I am really really hoping this is my period as mentally that would be a big turning point for me, signifying a return to normal in a way, and the possibility of being able to conceive again.

As usual though, it's never straight forward is it?

hello, your weekend sounds like fun!
My gp seems think that maybe the 2 days of v light spotting was in fact my period which came 3 weeks after the op so you might be...depending on the course of treatment you had it isnt uncommon to bleed very little or indeed to bleed a lot. Sorry im not sure that helps but hopefully we will all have answers soon

Hi barbie,

So you had a light bleed 3 weeks after? And the Doctor considered it your period? Did you feel all your normal period symptoms too, just with less bleeding? I keep thinking it must be my period really, as the bleeding from the miscarriage itself cleared up after about 4 days, and I've had nothing since (more than 3 and a bit weeks.)

Please let it be my period!

It's great that your DH is coming home in time for Christamas by the way!

yep im glad too now we think about ttc again

I had no bleeding after eprc but felt bloated, spotty etc around time of spotting...my doctor seems to think that is normal and a period is a viable explaination .
I didnt think it was a real period though maybe because i was expecting something worse? i havent had anything since and its now cd 44 so i have been back to the doctors as you might of read in the previous post and im being referred to hospital as im not sure the pains are cyst related. I constantly feel like im about to come on at any time...how long has your symptoms been happening?

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been on over the weekend been busy with family stuff/ catching up. Still questioning also if this is in fact my AF, seems too quick after the ERPC (VM they didn't do the first ERPC the only one was two weeks ago) very light and pretty much finished by now, no pain or cramping at all. As we are not ttc atm I guess we will just wait and see, sausage you are right why is it never straight forward.

Don't have time to go thru everyone but it sounds like we are all having good weekends, apart from barbie who needs to slow down and conserve some energy for when dh comes home. Big hugs and waves to all you lovely ladies, take care mm xxx

I've had period like pains for a couple of weeks, but 'proper' period pains and cramping today. It is exactly like a normal period in terms of pain etc, only for the lack of blood.

It's such a nightmare isn't it, never really knowing what's going on. Let's hope the hospital get to the bottom of it for you, and quickly. When is your visit?

I had a hospital appointment for Wed due to the positive pregnancy tests, but if I feel sure that this is my period I'll obviously cancel it. I think I might look a bit silly asking them to test for pregnancy or retained tissue when I've just had a period. But then who know's if this is a period anyway.

I think my head just popped!!

no keep the appointment, just in case!
The gp has requested an appointment for me but who knows how long it will take to get one?????

mm hello pretty lady, im glad you had a good weekend, im fine....tired but fine! Im going to work as much as i can for the next month so that when dh finally gets home we can relax as most of the work would of been done

OK barbie but don't work so hard you make yourself ill, you need your body in tip top condition for ttc, there is no-one to watch you atm so I will take charge thru the eyes of a mac, listen to granny mm .

Just popping in to say hello to all you ladies. Ei started this thread back in September, it's so good to see all the lovely support that is being offered by you girls since this thread began (thanks again ei for starting it!) I have had 3 M/C's but am very blessed to have a large family. I really wish you all the best of luck in achieving your successful pregnancies,especially my lovely friend molliemooma it will happen, I really thought that after 2 consec M/C's and also being a bit of a wrinkly (43), and not to mention my failing health issues, I would not get my last, so very much desired little girl, but I did, so hang on in there girls your time will come. (I had my first child 2 months before I was 35, check out my profile to see my lovely kids, it's amazing that wrinkly's can still produce beautiful children)