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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

993 replies

EisAHandbagaHolic · 15/09/2008 22:26

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

OP posts:
barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:07

Im here!!!!

sausagemcgrah · 22/10/2008 21:11

Yey! How are you doing? How was your day?

barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:16

hi sausage I had to do a p test on first visit to doctors after mc. Apparently the test should read negatve one the sac has passed meaning the mc is complete, so yes i would go ahead and test again!

hello everyone, havent been posting so much because i have been working late and getting up early to work the dog before work, to be honest there doesnt seem enough time in the day for me at the moment and im totally shattered....

Back to the gym tomorrow, i booked a new induction at 7pm just so i can get a new programme to work towards, dont know who im kidding because if work keep making me do the counter managers job (which as you remember i didnt get due to sickness with mc ) i wont be out much before 9 or 10pm most nights and its a good half an hour drive, oh well...

5 people have told me that they are pregnant in the last week it hurts so much but i have put on a brave face and congratulated everyone which is more than i could of done a few weeks ago.

Today i convinced myself that i was having an ectopic pregnancy my af still isnt here and i feel like when i was first pregnant, but i have pain in one side and a sharp pain in my shoulder, which are both symptoms...anyway called the doctor but she reassured me that a pt would still read positive and as its negative i will have to keep my appointment tomorrow to see what the hell is going on!

I will re read all your post and answer you all tomorrow, im day off so ill be on loads!

CircularRainbow · 22/10/2008 21:17

sausagemcgrah - I had my D&C two weeks ago tomorrow. It is all a bit of a guessing game isn't it! I haven't done any tests, ovulation or pg; I'm happy to wait until af comes calling before even thinking about ttc....I guess we'll all be back to normal within the next month or two - but if you're really keen to ttc, then the wait will be very noticable!

At the moment, I'm just really enjoying using the steam room every day...such places are banned during pregnancy, so for me, it's a really good substitute and stops me thinking about ttc/pg.

barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:19

Sorry about the grammer im just sooooo tired! my dog keeps barking in the night, and never does that while dh is home so for the last few night have been awake convinced that someone is breaking in! Oh yes did you know i have an over active imaganation!

barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:21

Hi circular!!! i hope you both dont get the run around from your af!!! i have no idea what is happening to mine, its been 40 days since d&c

sausagemcgrah · 22/10/2008 21:23

Thanks Barbie, I'll do a test soon. When I can face buying one. Still a bit of a sad reminder of what's gone, when I want it to show negative not positive.

Your work / day sounds exhausting. A day off tomorrow will be lovely for you, and well deserved!

I know just what you mean about how you feel when people tell you they're pregnant. It's happened to me once since all this began, and it's been my worst day by far. I cried all the way home from work, and all evening. Irrational I know, but just so hard to deal with right now. Poor you with 5 people telling you.

Must be horrid woth no AF and not knowing what's going on. I hope the Doctor is able to help tomorrow.

sausagemcgrah · 22/10/2008 21:26

Hi circular. I'm making the most of stilton, red wine, goats cheese and pate at the moment. They're my steam room equivalent. And I'm enjoying the fact that for the first time in 12 weeks I can drink tea agai and it tastes good!

barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:27

Thankyou, not sure what they can do but i just know my period is there! now i just need it to come out.....the star jumps and sit ups in the gym didnt help either!!!

How strange is it to want a negative test, next time though we will all have bfp!!!! and we are all planning to meet when the last of us finally pops out a little bundle of joy, so until such time time keep posting!!!!

sausagemcgrah · 22/10/2008 21:31

What a lovely thought. We'll get there and it will all be so so worth it.

So can I ask a very silly question... is Emmsy (of the thread title) still around, and what is Emmsy's story?

barbie1 · 22/10/2008 21:35

Emmys has just had a baby after suffering mc herself. I think she has 3 little ones now and must be a long time mn user as there are a few threads with her name on it? i think molliemomma know more of her...

sausage can i just ask where you live? i think we all introduced ourself early on in the thread and i must of missed the bits about you! sorry x

sausagemcgrah · 22/10/2008 21:39

Thanks for filling me in.

I must have found this thread after you'd all shared your details. I'm 29, and have one DD who's nearly 16 months old. I live in the Midlands with my DDDDDDDDH. (He's lovely! He deserves all the D's!) I wont tell him that though! Hmmmmmmm. What else? I'm a teacher although I work part time at the moment as I love being with DD. I don't know what else to add!

CircularRainbow · 22/10/2008 21:46

barbie - yikes, five people have told you they are pg in a week! That's a lot of BFP to deal with....I've just had the one since my mmc; I got home from my D&C on the Friday afternoon and logged into my email sometime that evening to find an email from a friend informing me that a mutual friend was expecting her second baby in.....April! which is when I was due [agghhr emoticon]. It did feel a little odd but at least it wasn't a face-to-face thing, so I didn't have to react all happy-clappy!! Anyway, enjoy your day off tomorrow and hope your dog doesn't howl all night tonight....

sausage - good for you for enjoying your favourite foods. It seems that we all have to give up certain things during pregnancy; each time I've been pg, the midwife has reminded what not to eat, so stilton, red wine, goats cheese, pate etc...but the thing is, I don't eat ANY of those foods! I have a very simple palate...however, I do have to give up my beloved steam room instead!!!!

VillageMum · 23/10/2008 10:20

Hi everyone, in a rush today because half term has now started for ds and I am on full-time mum duty! Have been making pancakes this morning and will be going to see High School Musical 3 this afternon! But just quickly:

sausage, I'd definitely do a hpt if I were you. It should be -ve by now and then you'll be reassured. I did a hpt 4 days after my ERPC and it was still +ve; tested again 3 days after that and it was -ve. I ovulated about 3 weeks after my ERPC (in other words it took a week after the ERPC for the hormone chain to start firing up again) and had AF two weeks after that (just finished).

barbie, good luck at the GP! Let us know how you go?

Circular, I will be swimming again tomorrow when ds goes out for the afternoon to play... I also frequent the steam room though I still feel irrationally panicky about it even though I'm no longer pg! Insane, isn't it?

Am still sticking to my resolution not to ttc in this cycle but to get my head and body back together again first - but it's hard! Roll on the end of November when we can start!

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 10:38

villagemum are you still here???

VillageMum · 23/10/2008 10:40

barbie, yes, inbetween cleaning the kitchen! xxx

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 10:50

Just back from the doctors and im so bloody mad and upset..
Went in and she asked what was wrong so i told her about missing af, sharp pains (sometimes so bad i cant stand straight,) the pulsating belly, the headaches, bloating and general period signs/ early pregnancy signs oh and the spotting....

And here were here replies

Me: i had a d&c on the 15th of last month but have had two days spotting on the 10th of this month.

Her; that will be your period then

me: are you sure, because it wasnt heavy or infact any red blood at all...

Her: sounds like you got away with it lightly then

Me: ok what about the pain im having where the cyst is

Her; how do you know you have a cyst?

Me; from the scan

And so on, not very helpful...

She then went on and said you might be pregnant but unless you do a test i cant be sure

Me; oh can we do a test then?

Her; when was the last time you had sex

Me: is it really any of your business

Her; so what contraceptive are you using?

me: none

Her: well that is silly because you might well end up in the same situation

Me [hmm} pardon? i might end up pregnant again?

Her; well yes and it could mean you having another ABORTION

Me: ........[tearful face]

Me; Sorry but if you had re read your note i had a mc.

Then she was ok, i felt she was judging me as its against her religion to have a abortion (so she said)

Anyway no further on, just been givien pain killers and told to do a test next week and rebook for thurday.. so back to square one...

villagemum any advice?
enjoy your day xx

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 10:51

and the award for the longest post goes to barbie

VickyJane77 · 23/10/2008 11:04

Hi barbie, that's sounds crap, doctors should be able to rise above it and not be judgemental, remember they are working for you.
As for the pg test after mc, when I was discharged from hospital on monday, they gave me a pg test to do in 3 weeks time, then I've got to phone through the results, by then it should be -ve.

scamperT · 23/10/2008 11:16

Barbie1 - no wonder you are feeling angry - I am angry too on your behalf, what an insensitive doctor!! Rediculous that you have to just suffer in pain, and all you are told is 'wait and see' on top of which she didn't even bother to read your notes. Do you have an emergency gynae unit near you? You may be able to self-refer (ie just turn up) and perhaps they would be more helpful? Am new to mumsnet, what is AF? Have worked out DH and DC. Have posted on a couple of other threads but hello to the ladies on this one. Sending you love and cakes xxxx

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 11:17

vickyjane thankyou, i cant stop crying now though...so hurt by what has happened and so frustrated at lack of answers....im off now to walk the dog and buy another pregnancy test..(i have the cheap ones but not sure i trust them!) Isnt it strange how all hospitals/doctors say different things? i think we should start a lobby to get all the medical services to give the same info! The hospital i was in wouldnt let me leave until i had a -ve reading because they told me that the sac was the thing that caused a positive reading and that is what the d&c was meant to come remove?...I said i thought it was hormones causing the +ve read and you cant bloody remove my hormones!

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 11:26

scamper hello and welcome...sorry you had to see this thread one a bad day, normally is lovely and fun.
Af is period, there is a acronym list at the top of each page telling you the main ones! hope you are just lurking on not here because of a miscarriage? if you are then stay a while and im so sorry for you x

VillageMum · 23/10/2008 11:38

barbie, OK, honey, don't worry. You have just met the insensitive doctor from hell but her issues are her problem (and wow, does she have problems! I cannot believe that remark about her religion etc... [red] I'm RC myself, but when another woman is suffering for whatever reason, you forget your religion and give her whatever support she needs! Human beings are more important than religious belief!)

FORGET her crass remarks. Let's think. That may well have been your period; something to consider. But if not then you need to know if you are pg or not so test yourself today, for a start. The -ve you got before you were discharged from the hospital would have been a true -ve: trust it. If you are +ve now, then you are pg. If you get a -ve today then test again in a few days' time if still no AF. Keep your booking with your GP. But in the meanwhile, DO go and see your emergency gynae unit at your hospital - make a fuss because you have abdominal pain. They MUST have a look at you. Since your GP hasn't referred you, and if you do need a referral, then the quickest way is to go to A&E and ask them to refer you to the gynae clinic for the pain. You need to have that cyst checked/ ruled out.

Let us know what happens? xx

VillageMum · 23/10/2008 11:40

barbie, the cheap hpts are fine, by the way! Go and get yourself to the gynae clinic, OK? xx

barbie1 · 23/10/2008 12:32

Thanks vm just had a little smile as i remember walking home from the doctors in tears and all i could think about was all of you girls on this thread and what would you say?

Pt still -ve
Gynae ward wont see me except with a referral
A and e advised 24 hours of pain killers which doctor gave me and if still in pain to go back...
Phoned doctor and told her i wasnt happy with waiting until next week to see what happens and to try to book a scan for asap to check out cyst anyway, regardless of missing af.

Im just having period pains now, wouldnt be so bad but i have had them for 2 weeks, and so much cm its a joke (sorry for tmi) i had to rush home from the park with the dog earlier because i thought i had flooded!