emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

Good point above about testing after mc, mm!! VickyJane, don't lose hope!

mm I actually have a feeling that you will be successfully pg again next year, after seeing the specialist... just wait and see.

I'm OK; trying to stick to the plan of reconnecting with the old, level-headed me, even when the thermometers beckon! I will be calm, I will be detached, and I will get on with my work...

yep we are all tiptoeing along the same tightrope then girls - ok I am 40 and no spring chicken at the best of times and the gap is widening with ds now 7 but I think I need to have a bit of 'gardening leave' in the old ttc department. Emotions are raw and bodies need time to heal too. well thats my official line today anyway. I wish I could throw myself back into work and cleaning has lost its alure as well.

vm I'll hold on to that feeling you have, you keep feeling positive and I know what you mean about the 'old level headed me', I think we are pretty similar both you and me!!! Actually I have heard the term swan on mumsnet, looks calm on top but paddling like mad underneath, that kind of describes me atm. Sending any calming vibes I can find your way.

vickyjane I think the baby aspirin thins the blood and can increase the blood flow through the placenta, it can help if you have any blood clotting issues which is one of the things they would test for in any investigations. There was a thread in the mc section a while ago maybe you could look back as I am not an expert on this. I will try and find it but I am not the best at posting links.

try this

Yeahhhhh it worked!!!!!!!!

mermaidspurse, ho ho, I'm with you all the way, I am 39 and that figure is going up every month... and my ds is 7 and a half... but even so, I feel another month off from ttc is allowed! (I might even take a month off from cleaning too... )

mm, school run time again - how did that happen?!

Thanks mm for the link, I have spoken to my GP today to see if she can look into it for me, she has booked me in to see her at the end of the month.

Evening all,

villagemum, waiting this month out then starting to try next month sounds like a very good idea. Good on you for having the strength to wait until you are feeling completely ready. I think it is defintely harder. I am not ready emotionally, but so keen to be pregnant again that despite npot being ready really I don't think I could wait. I am hoping (rightly or wrongly) that being pregnant again will fix it all. (Plus it is actually fun trying again - I'd forgotten about that bit! And the closeness to DH is making me feel better emotionally too.) Sorry if TMI!

Lilac - I agree that you need to do what's right for you and not plan around your BF wedding. She'll understand and dresses are adjustable!

Vickyjane sorry to hear of all that you've been through. Get some rest and time just for you.

Hi everyone else. How's everyones day been? I am finding more enjoyment in things again. Phew! I was worried there for a bit. Spent a lovely afternoon at the park trying to feed some rather aggressive and unappreciative ducks!

sausagemc - well, let's hope I have the strength to wait! And let's hope I can fend DH off too. He has been, er, no slouch in that department in the last few days. Maybe I can exhaust him before I ovulate...
Seriously, though, I know the feeling that being pg again will fix it all. Had it very strongly just after my mc. It's only in the last week that I've suddenly begun to feel that maybe I should be doing some of the fixing first... But that's just me. You sound as if you are taking positive steps to do what's healing for you. I really, really hope it works out for you! Baby dust!x

Morning to all you ladies! Havent had time to catch up properly with whats going on with you..

vm tough and confusing times for you but sounds like you have made the right decision for you, ttc again is gonna be scary whenever we do it after whats happened.. Same for you lilac, there will always be reasons why its best to wait, but i think thats our self protection mode kicking into auto pilot, and finding excuses! If it happens, it happens! I'm ovulating today and pretty much like clockwork, I'm not chaining DH to the bed tho! We're doin it when we feel too, and if theres no AF next month then great, (until the manic anxiety kicks in) and if AF does turn up, then I'll tell myself best to let my body continue healing and recovering and that its just not ready yet. After first 2 mc I ached to be preg again, after all the complications of 3rd mc I know that when my bodys ready it will happen.. TBH this has been a crap year so maybe best til next year!

I'm trying to write quickly cos of internet ban! Heard yesterday redundancy, or complete change of job within company is definate for next July. Been here 12 yrs so quite devestating, they been great with all mc dramas and time off, and when I do fall again dunno whats going to happen with maternity leave. Dont want to leave and start all over with this going on, but have looked at jobs in local hospital as been there so much this year!

FInally - (sorry its all me me me) but most importantly, tomorrow morning I get results from GP after all my dramas! Still see specialist on 13th nov but now I know I'm getting them I have very mixed emotions. Dr left message saying 'I've got the info from hosp, theres quite a lot' ?!?!?! I'm taken that as a given they have found stuff. I wanted them too, but now I'm scared. This has been one hell of a week, a month, a year in fact... This crazy old life I'm living is getting abit overwhelming..

So, sorry I've gone on and on, again!

Barbie hope you're doing ok without DH around, MM Hi and wave to you as well as Mollie Monkey Sausage VIcky Mermaid Nan Circular* - I feel guilty for going on about me, and for not giving more support to you..! I hope you are all bearing up and that the other girls on here are helping! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4ever, just a quick one - FANTASTIC that you'll be getting a detailed result tomorrow; now they'll be presenting you with some solutions! Completely normal to be apprehensive, but don't be - you're about to get an action plan... Sorry to hear about your job. Just take it slowly and see what develops between now and July! The bigger picture will soon emerge...

Thanks vm.. I'm all over the place to be honest! Put so much emphasis on getting results and answers, now I am I'm so nervous and wondering if I really want to know! Of course I do! Results hopefully means solutions as you say! Redundancy was in the pipeline so not a massive shock, but not great timing! I did smile at the bigger picture emerging though and immediately thought of me with a big fat pregnant tummy! Heres hoping eh?!? Thanks again tho sweetheart and hope alls well with you today? xxxxxx

4ever, I am sure that, once you have the new results to act on, you will soon be on your way to being successfully HUGE! 'Lots of info' is very, very promising; 'sorry but we have no answers' would have ben depressing and would have left you in the dark. It may be scary but it's all good, believe me! Let us know how tomorrow goes? xx

I am now on a 'getting fit for pg' cycle. Went swimming again today (CircularRainbow - I got there!) and am trying to focus on getting stronger (and saner) before ttc begins in earnest at the end of November!

Hi everyone, hope you are all good today.

4ever good news that you will get the answers and SOLUTIONS tomorrow and you will finally be able to start progressing to that huge, enormous belly. Try not to focus to much energy on the possible redundancy, I have been there before and it always works out even if you can't initially see it. Let us know how you get on tomorrow and heres to moving forward.

vm when I had my first mc in Dec all I could think of was getting pregnant again, I was almost obsessed with it and thought it would make everything better. Obviously with me it didn't work out that way but doing some fixing now is a great idea to help you mentally get through a pregnancy and all it's fears again. Pregnancy after a mc is an emotional journey that is so difficult and all your fears will be magnified, until that is you see little bean waving back to you. Don't want to sound negative but emotionally it is a toil so any mental fixing you can do now will help you so much in a future pregnancy. Anyway that's what the rest of us are here for.

barbie how are you hun, hope you have just been busy, thinking about you.

Well got thru my first two shifts back at work, well sort of, came home early both nights as I was just physically exhausted. Trying to do 12 hr n/s when you are not back to normal was probably a stretch too far but at least it got me back into work again. Got a phone call earlier from a friend that hasn't called me since my 2nd mc (May), basically she had her dd weeks before my mc and didn't know what to say. It was nice to talk to her again it's just sad that it took so long. She was shocked to hear it had happened again but we chatted and although I have felt let down by her I know it took a lot for her to call today. Well all this talk of swimming and the gym is getting me motivated so give me a couple of weeks and I will do this. Pretty sure I need some iron in my system again, looked in the mirror earlier and to be blunt I look like shit atm, I actually look ill so time to concentrate on getting 100% again- if I ever was!!!!!!. Lol at the pregnancy tummies don't forget the virtual champers is still on ice for the first BFP..............who will be first.

Hugs and waves to all the rest of you mm xxx.

Thanks again vm! Yes it was the 'lots of info' bit that got me - I listened to the ansaphone message about 7 times and got butterflies each time she said that bit - wierd huh? Def let you know the outcome tomorrow! Roll on being succesfully HUGE! Good for you getting fit & ready! I've managed a sunday run and some sit ups for the last few weeks but thats about it! I do believe though that our bodys will only let it happen when we are ready for it.. of course that doesnt take ito account the mental aspect but thats another story! xxx

Sorry just read that back and "all the rest of you" doesn't sound good to me so let's change it to hugs and waves to all of you lovelys on this wonderful, marvelous thread that we all have for each other. There that's better.

4ever lots of info just means that they have been thourgh (spelling) with you. Bear in mind also that your GP may not deal with this information that often so it may seem a lot to them but not to the specialist. Just think like vm says it would be worse if they didn't find anything and could not help you, that is my worst case senario and I don't know what we will do if we were to be put in that position. I know it will be in your mind constantly until tomorrow but try and think positive and think this is the first step in holding that lo in your arms. Thinking positive I wonder who will have the biggest bump between us all.........

Hello everyone, just caught up with the latest posts..

4ever - bet you can't wait to get into that office tomorrow to hear all the details and of course, recommendations for the next phase of your baby planning! I guess it feels like one big puzzle....but perhaps tomorrow, you will be given a great big clue! It's always good to get to the bottom of things, so any information that the docs can give you is good information.

mm - you must have lots of stamina to work two shifts so soon after your op - hope you manage to get some rest before the next shifts. And if you think you need more iron, then I can highly recommend SpaTone. It comes in sachets and is a liquid (water) supplement (best taken with orange juice or smoothie on an empty stomach). I like it because it's so easy to take (don't like tablets) and it really does work; you can buy it from Boots (is the cheapest), Tesco, etc.

vm - great that you have had a swim! It's such an enjoyable form of exercise (especially if prefixed by a hot, hot steam room!) and I bet you felt much better afterwards; I always do.

barbie - hope you're OK and enjoying the gym. Admission: I've never used a gym in my life!!

lilac - hope you've managed to speak to your bf about your ttc/wedding worries; hope she was understanding.

Isn't it getting cold in the mornings - I had to scrape ice of my windscreen today and wear a thick coat...winter is not my favourite time of the year (not that it's winter yet)!!

Thanks circular I will give them a try, I am popping to the shops later so will pick them up, hopefully they will pick me up.

mm, thanks so much for the positive reinforcement - yep, I'm trying to see this cycle as a 'strengthening and getting ready' cycle. On this new plan we would actually be ttc again at the end of November anyway, which isn't that far away (so I keep reminding myself - patience, patience! )

You sound tired after those shifts - take it slowly. I think you've handled the news of your friend's new baby, and her awkwardness about calling, with great maturity. I'm just steeling myself for friends, family etc to announce new pgs - there's always a pang. Wish I could rise above the envy and self pity.

4ever - waiting to hear how it all goes tomorrow!

Hello I've been feeling blue today .
Went and got my hair cut this afternoon which did cheer me up, I changed the style and I quite like it.
I've been thinking of swimming, thought I'd get this 1st post mc cycle out of the way. We've decided to ttc again after Christmas, we are both anxious about it but at the end of the day we both really want another dc, so we will just get on with. If mc happens a third time at least investigations will start. I said to dh today, it's obvioulsy going to be a little harder this time round.

I saw this debate in the Times yesterday & couldn't believe that the attitudes I encountered when I had a miscarriage with my first baby in 1990 are still rife within the NHS. I found out when I went for a scan at 13 weeks that my baby had actually died at 6 weeks. The first description of my loss was by the consultant who described it as a "missed abortion". Even now, I am in tears at the thought of such a crass description. After my D&C I was placed in a side ward off a mixed ward - such sensitivity - and the nursing staff didn't know how to deal with me. Mostly they just left me to myself, in tears and in shock. The following morning I had to phone my husband and ask him to bring in some pads, but the phone was right next door to where several men were in their beds, and they could hear everything I said. It was not just embarrassing, it was insensitive as well. My GP was brilliant, and when I developed a massive internal infection a week later, she was so kind and sensitive. She was such a support when my next pregnancy was confirmed, and pulled out all the stops to make sure that I was scanned early and checked regularly. I went on to deliver 2 healthy children, and am aware that I am very lucky. However, the experience of losing my first child stays with me, especially at 'milestone' dates. This year, at Christmas my first baby would have been 18. I am so angry that so called professionals are still putting women through Hell because they lack the skills and training to put themselves in the position of the woman having the miscarriage. Sensitivity, kindness and tact cost nothing but mean so much to a woman at possibly the saddest time of her life.

vicky - well done on having a new hair-style (that takes courage!) and I hope you'll be feeling a little stronger in the next few days. It sounds as though you and your dh have a plan with respect to ttc after Xmas - something positive to aim for, with a few months 'off' beforehand.

Well, I had some ovulation-type twinges earlier this morning in the steam room (of all places) and thought, 'nah, can't be' but I've just had EWCM!!! I feel a bit surprised tbh but hey ho, I guess the old girl is cranking back up again you have to laugh!

Hi everyone,

Circularrainbow, I was wondering today if I could possibly have ovulated already too. It's been nearly 3 weeks since everything happened. Is that a similar timeframe to you? I do hope my body is getting back to normal as we're so keen to try again. I have a fear though that I'm just imagining all the symptoms and I'll be one of the people who doesn't see AF again for a ridiculous amount of time. Once again, I wish for my crystal ball. it's just all so frustrating isn't it!

Vicky, sorry you've been feeling blue tody. Your new hair sounds lovely though.

4ever, I hope you get some answers tomorrow. Good luck.

barbie, are you at the gym again? All this talk of simming etc on this thread is making me realise how lazy I am. I'm even worse in winter - I go into hibernation. I do however spend at least 2 hours a day walking DD around the park though so I guess (hope!) that counts for something.

A question for you all. I said to DH tonight that I thought it would be a good idea for me to take a pregnancy test now to see if it's negative yet, so if in 6 weeks I had no period and did a test then I would know whether a positive (I'm living in dreamland I know!) would be a real positive or left over HCG from the miscartriage pregnancy. So - has anyone here done a test to see if / when it comes up negative. Any ideas on when I should get a negative test bearing in mind the missed miscarriage was 3 weeks ago? Is it worth doing to see?

Sorry about all the mistakes in that. Simming shoul have read swimming. Not sinning which it looks like at first! A thread with lots of sinning on! Ha ha.