Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

Thank you, that is really helpful <3

I'm sorry to hear this, going through exactly the same with my second scan today and am opting for surgical. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

@TruthUnwinding how did the appointment go? Do you have to wait long for your surgery?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @Armdjm. I had a missed miscarriage and had to wait over five weeks for any treatment due to the parameters the NHS require you to reach (we had two private scans and then had to have two NHS scans as they wouldn’t accept anything else) so I really feel for you. It’s a horrible feeling being stuck in limbo.

I had an MVA and super happy to share more about it if helpful. Overall it was so much better than I thought it was going to be. I actually started bleeding the day before but the procedure still went ahead.

Hope you have brighter days coming x

@Bellebg im so sorry this also happened to you! It’s such a long process isn’t it. I’ve been lucky to get my 2nd scan brought forward from 14 days gap to 7. I rang and chanced my luck and they put it to a consultant and they agreed as long as I have an internal scan they will do it this Friday.

Is the MVA the one under local? I know my trust call the local and general one different so not sure if all are the same.

I did wonder if you start bleeding before if they still go ahead with it!

It’s so long isn’t it @Armdjm. I don’t know about you but I hadn’t heard of MMC prior to getting pregnant and had no idea that it could last for months.

So pleased to hear that you’ve had your scan brought forward. I hope that everything is much smoother and quicker for you from here.

Yes the ‘MVA’ I had was local anaesthetic. I had to go to a different hospital for it as mine only offered general x

@Bellebg No I was the same, I thought a normal miscarriage was the only kind!

I know I’m hoping they can give me a date on Friday. I did ring them today just to ask out of curiosity how long the wait would be and they said it could be as soon as Saturday if there was theatre space.

can i ask what made you opt for the local over the general? and how you found the experience awake? It keeps crossing my mind as I know I’d be home a lot quicker

@Armdjm that’s good news that it could be as soon as Saturday. Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you. Sounds like you have a helpful EPU :)

It was just personal preference really. General is something that has never appealed to me, I find the thought of it quite scary (which sounds crazy when writing it haha). I was also getting married a couple days after the procedure, whichever type, so I wanted a short recovery time too.

I actually had a really positive experience overall. It was so much better than I thought it might be. I’ve had a coil retrieval when the strings came off and that was honestly worse. Appreciate that everyone is different and I’ve read a lot of stories where people have found it unbearable so I guess you don’t really know until you have it. I wrote a post detailing everything as reading everyone’s posts on here was the only thing that really helped me come to any conclusion and understand each approach.

It’s here if you want more details. Also happy to answer any questions around it x

@Bellebg I’m so sorry you went through this so close to your wedding!

I’ve just read that and it is good to hear a positive story. The in and out aspect is making me consider local. I’m going to have a good chat with them on Friday. I also think if they can get me in for an appointment faster using local it would sway me as I’m not sure this is in theatre or not? Maybe it is.

Did you have much pain leading up to your procedure? I’ve had a heavy/period type feeling for a good few days now which keeps making me think it’s about to begin naturally and I don’t know why but I feel more worried that it is going to start on its own

Thanks @Armdjm. Yeah it definitely was very quick and the procedure itself once actually starting was only about 10 minutes, potentially a little less. It was in a treatment room in outpatients just on the EPU ward where I went.

I had quite a few days of on and off spotting and some weird feelings too over the space of a week or two and then started bleeding a bit more heavily after that. So hard to tell, I thought mine was starting for ages and it took longer than I thought but have read some people’s coming on much more quickly.

Such a horrible time where you can’t think of anything else. Hope this passes for you soon!

@Bellebg It does sound so fast awake! I will definitely take that option into consideration I think especially if I can have it done faster as I’m the same I’ve had funny feelings all this week so far, like a heavy feeling and I keep just expecting to start bleeding.

How far along were you for your procedure? I’m now over 10 weeks and baby measuring 6+4

@Armdjm yeah see how you feel! As I say, I think I was fairly lucky but hopefully if you choose that route all will be ok as possible. Pretty similar timings, baby measuring 6w3d and I was just over 11 weeks by the time I had procedure.

@Bellebg thank you for all your advice and sharing your story!

I will update after my final scan tomorrow!

Hiya

Just a little update. Today went as well as can be expected. After reading horror stories online, I would say things went pretty smoothly.

Got the misoprostol tablets at 09:30. Cramps started pretty much straight away, but not bleeding after 3 hours. I was given another oral tablet and the bleeding starter pretty much straight away.

Passed a few large clots when using bed pans, but didn't soak through any pads. Currently on my way home.

Good luck girls xx

@CJHR18 oh I’m so glad to hear it went smoothly. Again I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this!

Did you get much side effects from the tablets? I’ve read they can cause terrible sickness!

@Armdjm Thank you my love 💓

Apart from the cramping, I had no other side affects. I was worried about the diarrhea, but I suffer so bad with constipation and it didn't have that affect on meal. All in all, it was nothing that paracetamol and codeine couldn't resolve.

Please let me know how you get on tomorrow xxx

@CJHR18 do your trust re scan you to ensure there’s nothing left over?

Yes that’s another side effect that would worry me but it’s good to know the only side effect you had was the one that was intended to happen!

I will! I will update once I have been xxx

@Armdjm no they don't rescan unless I still test positive in 3 week's time. I feel so drained now.

Good luck xxx

Had a MMC confirmed by private scan today. Should have been 9w3 and bean stopped growing at 7w3ish
This was my third scan this pregnancy and the only reason I did it really was because I paid for it before having some bleeding around 6 weeks which was confirmed to be a haematoma but we saw a heartbeat and I’ve had no bleeding since.
Hoping EPU will be in touch tomorrow but they were closed for at least 2 weeks when I had my bleeding meaning I had to go to a hospital a county over.. hopefully they’re all sorted now
Reading through the messages here has been really helpful. I don’t know what options they will give me but I would probably choose to be proactive with things rather than wait.. I’m not very patient and always like to have a plan so waiting would be hard.

Had a chemical in March and now this, feeling hopeless to say the least and I know it’s taking a toll on DH as well. He’s been brilliant through it all but he bottles his emotions sometimes. We were quietly optimistic after seeing a heartbeat about 2 weeks ago and actually planning to tell family this weekend following todays scan

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, we didn’t tell anyone irl so I’m feeling a bit lonely in it. I will tell my closest friend next week when I see her but we haven’t been together since April so she didn’t know I was pregnant..

@Confusedmermaid1 I am so sorry! It’s just so cruel isn’t it.

We were similar we had a heartbeat scan at what they dated 6+3 but I had a gut feeling something was wrong as I should have been nearly 8 weeks by that point. I had said to my husband I don’t know if I would have rather never seen the heartbeat in one sense but also glad we have the scan video from that.

I am the same I hate not having a plan in place and it has definitely been the hardest part of this for me at the minute the waiting. I feel like I can’t really come to terms with what’s happened yet. Especially as I still feel very pregnant I’ve had awful sickness again this morning.

I hope your EPU is back open! That’s awful if you have to go further away. Will you be able to ring them today to refer yourself?

Also please never apologise! That’s why I posted on here because I just needed to talk to people who had been through/going through the same as me as although my friends knew I was pregnant none of them have had a missed miscarriage and I think it’s hard to understand when you havnt experienced it!

@Confusedmermaid1 so sorry you're going through this my love 💖

Hopefully you hear back from the EPU unit. The waiting around is horrendous.

I've found great comfort through discussing my situation on here. It does really help talking to people who know exactly what you're going through. Just know that we're always here if you need us ♥️ xxx

Just to give an update after my scan.

They were really lovely, gave us a memory box and details for a cremation ceremony which I wasn’t expecting at all.

Having surgical management on Monday under general anaesthetic. I was quite tempted to go for it under local but I would have had to wait another 7 days which I don’t want to do!

@Armdjm I'm glad you have a plan in place lovely. How are you feeling about it?

Ah did they give you a 4 Louis box? I got one too. It's so nice 🥹🥹 my hospital's chaplaincy have a service every Thursday. I think I'll go.

I was OK on the day. I actually felt a bit disassociated from the situation. I'm definitely feeling it more today. Although, it could be because my mam and dad are back from holiday today. This would have been their first grandchildren. Both my sister and I struggle with fertility issues. I've been dreading telling them. Looking back I haven't physically/verbally said that I've had a missed miscarriage to anyone.

@CJHR18 Yes that box! Ee it’s lovely isn’t it. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I didn’t dare open it while we were still there.

I feel alright about it I think. I feel a bit nervous hoping it all goes smoothly but the doctor sat with me and went through it all to sign the consent and said it literally takes 10 minutes! Which was why I was willing to go the local anaesthetic in the end but when they said they only did it on Fridays I thought oh no thank you! Plus it’ll be nice to just wake up and it be over!

I know what you mean about feeling desensitised. I cried when they brought the paperwork that said ‘pregnancy loss’ and they asked if I wanted the baby part of their cremation ceremony at my local crematorium. That hit me hard. I imagine the drop in hormones probably hits you hard as well once it’s over!

Aw I’m so sorry! That’s so hard that you both have suffered with infertility. I think it’s been so hard telling people and saying it out loud!

@Armdjm It was really such a nice touch 🥲

I don't blame you for wanting to wait any longer for the procedure. Hope you're doing OK x

It is so much worse saying the words out loud isn't it?