Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

@Confusedmermaid1 I ended up just coming home at 2am they said it didn’t look like I would get seen until the EPU reopened at 8am so I thought I’d rather just come home. I’ve rang EPU this morning and they are happy that it has settled down and think I’ve had retained tissue and that has came away last night but that I have to ring if it does it again!

How are you?

@Armdjm that’s crazy! I am shocked by the lack of out of hours support for these kinds of things as it’s the same in our hospital, if EPU is closed there’s no real alternative.

I’m glad it’s settled down for you at least.

I’ve woken up today still bleeding pretty heavily but cramps are what I would usually have during my period and the sickness has eased slightly. I think I’ve gotten away with it quite lightly apart from immediately after taking the medication so I can’t really complain.

@Confusedmermaid1 i know you are really left to just fend for yourself over night aren’t you!

I’m going to have a relaxing day and hopefully it just continues to settle and that was the end of it. I salute you all that do the medical management because if that’s all I had to pass it was so painful I could barely stand!

Aw I’m glad you’re not feeling too bad this morning! I hope you’re having a lazy day to rest

@Armdjm absolutely we both deserve a lazy day! My plan is to binge watch Criminal Minds in bed.. DH is working from home today so he’s offered to be tea maker and snack bringer so I’m all sorted!

@Confusedmermaid1 @Armdjm it sounds like you’ve both had a pretty horrific week. So sorry to hear that you’re going through all of this. Sending hugs all round x

@Bellebg I am very ready for this whole ordeal to be over and to be fully healed! I feel like I now have the added anxiety of last night repeating itself but hopefully that was it!

Can I ask anyone..

either after medical management or surgical management when did your pregnancy tests start to lighten? Mine are still very positive which I know they told me to test in 3 weeks I feel like I’m just obsessing over the fact they aren’t lightening yet!

Sorry to hear what you're going through!

I had a mmc in March. Found out at my 12 week scan and baby was 8+2. I had surgical management but still had strong positive texts for six weeks after, up until my period arrived, and then I finally tested negative after that.

Just wanted to jump on this and let you know as I couldn't see much online when I was going through it about people still testing positive for so long but it naturally sorting itself out

@carrotsandhoumous thank you so much! I know when I have looked online or on places like TikTok it’s either people testing negative or faint lines really soon after so that makes me feel better as mine are really strong. I know it’s only been 5 days though.

I’m so sorry you also went through this! It’s so cruel. I’m very keen for it to all be over and to feel ‘normal’ again and not be anxious about bleeding heavily and whether things are left behind!

@Armdjm I know it's easier said than done to try not to stress and overthink all of this when you're going through it! It felt like a lifetime for me when it was happening, so I feel for you.

I actually bled heavily with bad clotting for 2 weeks after the op and EPU weren't interested at all. They wouldn't re scan at any point and they said it would be a waste of time going to a&e as well! I just tried to believe it would all work out in the end.

Just to give a bit of hope I just tested positive again last week which was a huge shock! Especially as it was so dragged out. I hope recovery is quick for you

@carrotsandhoumous I was terrified last night when out of no where I started bleeding so heavy and passing so many clots! So now I’m on edge thinking it’ll start again.

Aw that is amazing congratulations, how many cycles have you had since your op before falling pregnant again?

@Armdjm ah I had one really horrific afternoon 4 days after my operation out of no where, and I almost went to a&e as I was so faint. I'm hoping it's the same for you and the worst of it is over now!

It took me 6.5 weeks for a period to finally arrive which was super light. And then 4 weeks later I had a normal period, and then fell pregnant. I just tested ovulation spontaneously throughout the whole thing just to make sure I was going back to regular cycles.

Feel super lucky as I have endometriosis and PCO - hopefully it's true what they say and you're way more fertile straight away after going through this! We didn't wait to try again like some people do, we tried as soon as we could

@carrotsandhoumous thats what day mine was it was brutal! I had no idea what was happening and didn’t expect it at all. I felt so unwell when it was happening.

Aw that’s great that you have fallen pregnant so soon. We are in 2 minds whether to try again once my periods return or wait a while, we’ve said we will know when it returns what to do and just see how we feel at the time. It’s such a traumatic thing isn’t it but I also don’t want it to scare me into not trying again

Hiya girls. Hope everyone is doing OK.

I had to take sometime away to focus on my mental health and seeing post notifications from the February Due date thread was triggering.

Mentally I'm finding it pretty hard still. Physically I'm drained too. I'm still getting really bad nausea and heartburn on a night. My mood is all over the place and the acne is not it 😳😳.

I

Totally sympathise with that.. I had to delete it to stop seeing it in the ‘I’m on’ because it was too much for me too..

I’m currently debating going back to work tomorrow, physically I feel fine now and if I was able to work from home I would probably do that but the thought of actually going to work and people asking me if I’m well or what was wrong is worrying me..

That’s totally understandable @CJHR18 it’s a lot to take in!

ive mentally been okay the last couple of days, my husbands gone back to work today and i feel very emotional all of a sudden I think because I’m alone (with a toddler so only to a degree) to actually think about things.

@Confusedmermaid1 Did you decide to go back? I was off last week for my op then have this week and next off before I go back, more so just because of the job I do I need to be in the right frame of mind

@Armdjm Yeah I stayed off. Earliest I can get an appointment for a sick note is Friday so I’ll probably take the week and ask them to backdate to today.. if that’s how it works 😅 I’m fortunate enough to have not needed a sick note before!

I just couldn’t face it and I thought the cramping had ended and then it’s back today..

Hope you’re all doing as well as can be expected!

@Confusedmermaid1 yes they just backdate it my husband had the same problem last week!

Yes I think best to take the time off if you are able to! I keep thinking my hormones will plummet at some point as well as I’m still testing very positive so expecting to feel really naff

My cramps keep sneaking back up on me and I instantly panic thinking I’m going to have a repeat of Thursday night and that there is more retained tissue! But I suppose it’ll be things shrinking back down too

@Armdjm it’s so worrying isn’t it.. I hope it is just things settling down.

I haven’t brought myself to test yet but I’m going to test tomorrow or Wednesday as that will have been a week since.. my pregnancy symptoms finally seem to be going mostly so hopefully that’s a good sign.

@Confusedmermaid1 It’s the most bizzare feeling going from testing to make sure the lines getting darker to now wanting them to get lighter! I need to stop testing really and wait another week or so but I just can’t help it.

Yes my sickness went the day after my operation which I was so glad about because I was really struggling mentally with having the sickness knowing the pregnancy wasn’t going anywhere. I almost feel guilty that I felt worse psychologically before my op than I have after. I don’t know if I feel like it’s closure or what. People keep asking me when I’m going to try again and I think ee I’m still testing positive from this pregnancy give me a minute I don’t even know!

@Armdjm i totally understand what you mean, I feel slightly relieved(?) the last day or so because the bleeding has slowed down so I feel like I’m coming through it. It’s conflicting because obviously I’m gutted about the way things have turned out..

Wow bless you, I can’t imagine fielding questions like that right now! I think I will wait for a natural period and try again but obviously we will see when we get there. If anything I think my husband is more undecided than I am. I think he’s struggled with seeing me in pain and not being able to help, bless him.

@Confusedmermaid1 Yes I feel the same. I think when you know it isn’t a good outcome I suppose you do need the physical side of it over to even try and move forward don’t you.

Yes I think my husband is the same. I think I would after my periods have returned but I’ve said I’ll not know until the time comes. I just find it crazy how much we’ve been asked! I was asked before I’d even had my operation!

@Armdjm I’m so sorry I can’t imagine! It’s just so insensitive to say the least.

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on this thread for a while and finding some comfort that we're all in similar boats.
I was diagnosed with an MMC last Thursday at a private scan, confirmed by EPU on Friday morning. It was a shock as we'd seen a heartbeat and everything looking good at 7 weeks only to be told it had gone 10 days later.
It's my first pregnancy and I'm 38 which might be a risk factor. Who knows.

I've booked in for an MVA next Tuesday they couldn't get me in sooner. Finding this week really tough as I feel so nauseous and generally unwell.

Those that have had an MVA under general anesthetic, how long did recovery take? I've never been into hospital before and have no idea what to expect. I'm planning on being back at work (from home) next Thursday. Is that realistic?
Thank you for reading xxxx

@WildFinch I am so sorry you are going through this!

I had my procedure under general anaesthetic last Monday (8th) and recovery has been a lot easier than I anticipated physically. I did have some retained tissue that came away naturally the Thursday night. But apart from that I have had minimal pain, I have taken paracetamol twice and my bleeding again apart from that Thursday has been next to nothing and now is only sometimes there when I wipe but not always.

The day after I was out and about with my little girl, I do think I over did it a bit though and should have rested at least that day!

In terms of returning to work I would see how you feel at the time! Everyone is different, I’m still off but I felt I needed a couple of weeks as I’m on my feet all day and my job is quite physically and emotionally demanding and to be honest I just wanted some time to come to terms with things without the stress of work on top!

Any questions though please ask!