Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

@CJHR18 Yeah I just think the wait to get to this point is long enough I don’t think I have it in me to prolong it further. I had started going off the general anaesthetic route as I know a lot of people who work in theatres as it’s the same hospital I work in but actually I don’t know why I care!

It feels so much worse saying it out loud!

feeling quite down this weekend thinking that come Monday I won’t be pregnant anymore!

Thank you all! Managed to get through first thing yesterday and the earliest appointment they could offer is Tuesday morning so not too bad. She said for a scan, presumably because they want to check the private one which is fine. Hoping the fact I have had a previous scan with them will mean only the scan Tuesday is needed to confirm.

Away with the in laws this weekend so it’s been a good distraction at least!

Hi, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but also want you to be prepared. They won’t accept the private scan as evidence. I had one and I still needed two from the EPU before they would intervene.

edit: sorry I misread! You had a previous scan with them! Ignore me

@Confusedmermaid1 Aw I’m glad you’ve managed to get an appointment!
Yes hopefully if they have scanned you previously in this pregnancy they will use Tuesdays as the 2nd scan!

Glad you have had a distraction over the weekend!

@Armdjm good luck for today. Hope everything goes well xxx

Just to give an update. I had the surgical management under general anaesthetic. Back on ward now and can go home in a couple of hours.

Just for anyone who might read this, it was absolutely fine. I feel it really took the trauma out of it for me. It’s definitely hit me now that it is over.

My hospital are sending baby for cremation and a ceremony/blessing for all babies lost in July which I can attend which I think is really lovely

Just to add another update as I know it’s a pain when you search on these groups and no one updates 😂

Got home about 3 hours after I came out of recovery. Had some cramps last night once my pain relief from theatre had worn off that I took 2 paracetamol for and used a hot water bottle and took it straight away! They did send me home with codeine if needed as well.

Have woken up this morning with no cramp at all. Bleeding is like a light period. Barely there, mostly just when I go to the toilet.

Thank you for the updates. I was thinking of you yesterday and glad it seems to have gone as well as can be expected. Hope it continues to be manageable.

how lovely that there is a service you can attend as well.

So pleased to hear you are out the other side of the procedure @Armdjm and it sounds like it went as well as it could have done. Thinking of you the next few weeks, good luck with the recovery x

Hi. How is everyone?

I'm not having a good day today. Tests are getting lighter, which I suppose is good, but is so hard when all you've ever wanted are those 2 lines.

I feel so, so sad. I have no motivation to do anything. I cried because I didn't like the colour paint in my house. I've cried because I don't like my house anymore (found out I was pregnant the day I got my keys).

This has really hit me hard. This was my first pregnancy after 3 years TTC. I have extremely irregular peroids and PCOS. God knows when or of I will ever get pregnant again.

I genuinely don't think anyone around me understands. I just feel so lonely

@CJHR18 aw I’m so sorry! I took one this morning out of sheer curiosity and it was still blazing positive and it upset me I almost wanted it to be negative already! Which is silly. They told me to wait 3 weeks so I’m assuming that’s how long it takes to fully leave your system!

It’s just so sad isn’t it! I’ve had waves today of feeling okay and then others of just feeling so sad!

@CJHR18 I lost my first pregnancy after 2.5 years trying, I feel your pain. At the time I was in absolute pieces - it felt like my life was over. The pain lessens as time goes on, take one day at a time and grieve the way you need to. Sending the biggest hugs x

Thanks so much girls 🥰

I honestly never thought it would be easy, but didn't imagine it would be this hard 😔

@CJHR18 how are you feeling today?

My goodness did anyone have a massive hormonal crash around 48 hours later?

All of a sudden tonight I’m so upset, im angry, picking arguments with my husband. When up until this point I’ve held it together pretty well

Sorry you’re feeling that way! I have been so hormonal but I’m still riding the wave of it at the moment. I imagine it will be all your hormones settling down again.

This might be a TMI/triggering..

I opted for medical management because it was the option that was available quickly. I already have regrets about it. I’ve only taken the first dose and was told I might have some spotting but I wouldn’t bleed until the second lot of medication is given. Well I was woken up this morning feeling like I had wet the bed but it was bleeding. Then I’ve soaked through another pad within about 15 minutes.

My appointment is at 1:30 today anyway but I’m concerned to say the least. From what I’m reading it’s saying 2 or more pads an hour for 3 or more hours but I think I will contact EPU because presumably that is after the second dose of medication… don’t know how well pessaries will go with this much bleeding!

@Confusedmermaid1 Let us know what they advise! I wonder if your body was preparing to start bleeding on its own and that is why it has started before the tablets that were supposed to start it off

How are you now?

Yeah that’s what I assumed had happened, that the timing of it was just coincidence but they’ve sent me to A&E due to the volume of bleeding..
Rang EPU mainly to check whether my second appointment was now necessary and the doctor happened to be in the office at the time and he was concerned enough to tell me to come in, hopefully that means I won’t be waiting hours. I’m presuming I won’t go to my appointment later but they didn’t specifically say. It’s all the same hospital anyway.

@Confusedmermaid1 I’m glad they’re getting you checked over for the volume you’re bleeding! I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

Keep us updated!

Gynae doc has been and said this is normal.. he said a lot of people bleed after the first dose but obviously I was told differently 😅 he’s just keeping me here until my appointment as my bloods haven’t come back yet but the bleeding has slowed for now.
I’m sure he didn’t mean to but he made me feel like I was over reacting.. I did get told to come in ASAP by another doctor though so I’m trying not to take it personally! He’s recommending I go through with the next dose as normal and was emphasising how much it will hurt, which I think is him basically saying don’t rush back 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Confusedmermaid1 how did your original appointment go? Are you home now?

Aw I’m really sorry if he made you feel like you’re over reacting! It’s so scary to go through!

Thanks for checking in! I am home tucked up in bed with a McDs… and the best way to describe how I’m feeling is very hungover which I guess it could definitely be worse!

I had a bit of a funny turn after I took the medication, very faint and nauseous so they made me stay in EPU for an hour and a half to monitor me. The staff were lovely though they have encouraged me to contact PALS because I was half naked (needed to inject anti-emetics into my thigh) in an office space as they had nowhere to put me!

Just crossing everything that it’s successful and I don’t have to go back in three weeks..

How are you feeling today?

@Confusedmermaid1 Oh bless you that’s not dignified at all is it!

I'm glad you’re home tucked in bed! Hopefully the recovery won’t be too bad!

I’m actually in A&E. I took a funny turn around 7pm with excruciating pain and started bleeding really heavily and passing clot after clot. I rang my EPU hoping they would just reassure me it’s normal but they said because I've been fine since my op with minimal bleeding and minimal pain it could be a sign of an infection. Absolutely fed up and have been asked by triage if my ‘abortion was planned’ which was lovely. It’s a nearly 7 hour wait in my A&E tonight as well and I’m sat on my coat hoping I dont bleed through!

Really sorry to hear that @Armdjm, hope you’re seen very soon.

@Armdjm oh no I’m so sorry! How awful for you.

Hope you didn’t have to wait too much longer. Let us know how you are x