Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@Sunnydays12340987 I am so so sorry to hear of your news xxx what a terrible shock for you and your family. Please take care and draw on the support of mumsnet, it has been invaluable for me just experienced my first MMC.

thank you for all the well wishes. It really means a lot. Just come round from the GA and been allowed to eat. I was told all went well. The worst bit was going into a theatre on a bed and the hospital-medical bit of it all, I can feel I’m bleeding but otherwise feel OK, just groggy. I’ve been here since 7.30 and hoping to go home by about 2/2.30 x

Thank you, the sonographer thought she saw a heartbeat at the start but think it was something else

Thank you, that's good to hear there's support here, think I'll need it. And sorry to hear of your loss too x

@Sunnydays12340987 I'm so sorry to hear your news, that must have been a shock and it is hard to then have to sit in limbo and wait for a confirmatory scan several days later. Please take care of yourself, surround yourself with love and support from those you are closest to and this thread is here if you want to ask any questions or just vent about how you feel. ❤

@CurlyWurly1991 Glad to hear things have gone well today, I hope you can get home soon. Look after yourself xx

Thank you xx

@CurlyWurly1991 So pleased to hear it all went well. Well done, you've been through a big thing today. Rest and be kind to yourself. I had a bit of heavy bleeding after my first surgery so watch out for that x

As i suspected I have had a partial miscarriage, the pregnancy hadn't come away yet. I'm booked in for op Wednesday still and no cramps anymore so may well need it. I was not prepared for the enormous fatigue I'm feeling today, I can barely keep my eyes open. I suppose my body is going through a lot. Wish we had family closer who could look after our toddler, my DH is having to take lots of time off work which is quite tricky

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced the fetal pole disappearing between scans? My private scan at 7-8 weeks was abdominal and could clearly see a very small fetal pole about 5mm (their measurements) with no HB, and a yolk sac was pointed out to me. A week later the NHS TV scan found only a sac and it was totally empty. NHS sonographer implied there had never been anything else and the private scan was wrong as it was abdominal… nurses said that it can be reabsorbed. Does anyone know? I mean I would like to think that a baby at least started to develop before being reabsorbed … trying to romantically think baby was reabsorbed into me although probably nonsense. Still, it’s more comforting to me than thinking it was only ever an unembryonic pregnancy.
Fair enough the NHS thinks little of the private scans and I understand why but I was grateful to have it in this case.
sorry, just wanted to get that off my chest! Probably still feeling emotional after the GA here!

@warmbutteredtoast oh sweetheart I’m sorry you have had to go through pain and bleeding and will then need the surgery too… it’s so much easier if it is all over quickly. Glad you are being seen Wednesday. I totally know what you mean about the fatigue and I don’t know if it’s because I was sleeping badly, hormone changes, or what.
Totally normal to feel fine one minute and teary or exhausted the next.
It really is challenging with childcare, isn’t it. We have had to put on a brave face for our daughter (10) who didn’t know about the pregnancy. I guess your toddler is not aware?
Take care and let us know how you are getting on xxx

@CurlyWurly1991 Yes it's very possible it was reabsorbed between scans, look up disappearing twin, it's quite common. If the private scan saw and measured a tiny embryo then I doubt they were wrong, they do this for a living. I think you definitely had a little bub in there x

Thanks so much! It's such a rollercoaster! Last night I just assumed I'd be doing it naturally, it does suck to have all the pain and blood and then still need the op. At least I know Wednesday it will be over. My toddler has no idea, he was actually at the scan where we found out the heartbeat was gone, he was a real comfort at the moment. We also have a 7 year old which is actually much trickier, I suppose similar to your 10 year old it's much harder to hide it all. What have you told her about where you are today? Do you have a DP with you today? We don't have much childcare, all our friends are working and family is too far away

@warmbutteredtoast aw thanks for that. I had a read of vanishing twin syndrome and got emotional at the thought of the embryo being reabsorbed. I didn’t realise that every pregnancy you have, the baby’s cells join the mothers and stay in her body forever. So beautiful ♥️

Yes it sucks doesn’t it, having to hide it from the older children. I did tell her I had a gynae operation today and she was very sweet and kind with me all weekend. I didn’t say what it was for. I think I’ll take the same approach with work as I’m due back tmrw. No one asks if you say gynae issues/operation!!
I’m sorry you are needing to go back. It really is so hard with childcare. It has made me and DH give our heads a bit of a wobble about realities of hospital/newborns etc without a strong support network. We have friends here but no family.

Thank you, that's quite reassuring. Can't seem to find much on conscious sedation with surgical management.

I'm sorry to hear that you're also needing the surgery now and are still going through it. Hopefully everything goes well for us both on Wednesday. Xx

@NphysT Hi, good to hear you are booked in for surgery. I think the conscious sedation is a good option if GA can’t be offered, there are probably lower risks of various things with this approach too. I think it would be important to have someone with you, maybe some music to listen to, and definitely good pain relief. You don’t need to suffer any more than you already have. I hope the team can reassure you xx

Feeling pretty miserable this evening. In quite a lot of pain, being upright really hurts, and I'm bleeding but still not really passing tissue. I never knew it could last this long, it's horrible. Why do I give birth in 4 hours but a miscarriage takes days?

Oh @warmbutteredtoast I’m so sorry. It’s so awful that it is drawn out. I don’t know why our bodies do it so slowly… and why it needs to be painful. Really a horrible thing to go through and I am so sorry you are feeling this way tonight. Do you have good pain relief? Paracetamol and ibuprofen / co codamol? My EPU always said I could call anytime day or night do you think this is an option for you too? X

Thanks so much for your reply @CurlyWurly1991 How are you feeling post op? My EPU is open 8am-6pm so can call between those times. There’s not much to say though as I’m not in agony just really fed up. I do have dihydrocodeine but it made me feel pretty sick when I took it yesterday so holding off that unless I really need it. I also have a TENS machine which might be useful. I’d love my own supply of gas and air!

Hi, I found this thread hope you don’t mind me jumping on..

I think I’ve lost my precious baby today 💔

Friday I had an early viability scan and the sonographer couldn’t find an embryo in the womb but said an internal wouldn’t show much more. She said it could just be because I am early that it’s not showing.

I then had stomach pains Saturday so went to A&E and had bloods done. They come back and my HCG levels were not as high as they should be at this many weeks (I was 6 weeks 1 day)

this morning (6 weeks 4 days) I started bleeding heavily. I rang 2 of my local EPU’s and both can’t see me till tomorrow morning.
I am still bleeding now with stomach and back pains. I know I’m having a miscarriage- it’s my first one - im absolutely devastated.

sorry to ramble on. I don’t really know what I am expecting out of this. Just need to write it down and vent 💔

my appointment is 8.30am. I am scared , I don’t even know what to say or what they will do. I feel there is no point in even going in. All the midwives spoke to me so heartlessly on the phone today. Just feel so alone xx

Thank you. My husband will be going with me, didn't think about having music to listen to, so will make sure to take my earbuds with me if I'm allowed and they have told me to take 800mg ibuprofen an hour before my appointment for pain relief but think they will offer me some too.

I'm glad your surgery went well. How are you feeling and how is your recovery going? Xx

@LottieW93 I'm so sorry you're going through this and your experience with calling the epu. I would take some pain relief if you have any, paracetamol or ibuprofen and definitely still go to your appointment tomorrow. They will confirm whether it is a miscarriage and offer you more support.

I'm sorry if I'm not much help, this my 1st miscarriage but I can tell you that you are not alone. This thread in particular has been very supportive and we are all or have been through this. Sending you lots of love xx

Thank you so much. I am so sorry you’re going through this too. 💔💔 I have no words. Just so sad right now xx thank you xx

I have just read through most of this thread and I am sending you all so much love. It is the worst feeling in the world and it’s horrible having to be on this thread but I already feel a sense of support just from reading your stories and experiences. Love to you all x x x 💔💔

😥💖xxx @warmbutteredtoast

Sorry youre experiencing this, its shit. We're all here for you ❤️ take it steady xxx

@LottieW93 I'm so so sorry you're going through this, how utterly devastating. Know that you're not alone and I hope you find this thread supportive. It's one of the worse clubs you can join but hopefully we can all support each other and make it a little easier. I'll be thinking of you this morning xx

@LottieW93 so sorry to hear what you are going through & I hope the EPU are kinder when you see them in person. It makes such a difference, we are very vulnerable at this time.

@warmbutteredtoast how did your night go? I hope you managed to sleep and were not in too much pain. Thinking of you xx