Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@CrazyMILonthecase I'm feeling a lot better, thank you! Still not quite back to normal but no longer coughing all the time - haven't got much on this weekend so I'm planning a nice restful one to try and get back to full fitness by the beginning of next week! Timing it nicely as my period is now over, so hubby is pleased I'm feeling better too. 😂

@w1azrdingabout12345 I'm so glad you are feeling better after the procedure. It's interesting hearing your experience of the MVA - I originally wanted to have that but the consultants who do it at my hospital were away when I had my MC so I went for the surgery under general anaesthetic instead so I could get it done more quickly. It's completely understandable that you were feeling upset at the time (I had a meltdown in the anaesthetic room before my surgery) - it's a really distressing thing to go through, and the hormones are just crazy for a little while too. I found the 3-4 days after my surgery quite tough emotionally as my hormones returned to normal, so be gentle with yourself. ❤

@ThelastRolo20 That looks like a lovely negative to me!

Thanks everyone for your kind words yesterday, they really helped me when I felt really at rock bottom.

Had my scan today and literally cried the entire time I was there. I actually can’t believe that I have some tentatively positive news to report. I don’t have a blighted ovum, I saw the baby and it has a heart beat. It was measuring a bit small for my dates at 6+2 instead of 7+1, which is not ideal, but I know that these things are hard to measure at this stage.

I literally can’t believe it as I feel not pregnant at all. I’ve been prescribed progesterone as I had some spotting which I’m happily going to take, anything that can help me along.

I know I’m not out of the woods yet but relieved to have gotten further than last time.

Hope you are all okay and hanging in there x

@LexIvy88 I'm so pleased to hear that your scan went well - that's really positive and I'm keeping everything crossed for you that things continue to progress in your pregnancy. Will they do any more scans before you reach 12 weeks?

@LexIvy88 great news on the scan :) fingers crossed things continue going well. Really good they've given progesterone x

@LexIvy88 ah that’s brilliant news - congratulations! 🎉

@ThelastRolo20 DEFINITELY a negative from where I’m standing - next stop ovulation 🚂 (and hopefully no more of those pesky hormone crashes!) xx

@CluelessInLondon @w1azrdingabout12345 happy to hear you’re both feeling better, hope you’ve got some nice chilled weekends ahead of you x

@PADonk thanks love. OPKs are getting stronger so hoping I'll ovulate this weekend 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Thanks @CluelessInLondon and @PADonk they said they didn’t need to see me again unless I have any further cramps or bleeding. I think I will book in a private scan in a couple of weeks all being well, don’t think I can make it to 12 weeks without checking in given my MMC history. Still anxious but feeling a bit more relaxed about not having nausea etc.

Thank you also @ThelastRolo20 , I was really surprised that the nurse recommended progesterone immediately, as I’ve heard such awful stories on here about people having to beg for it. I think it’s just luck who you get to see. I’ll be picking up my prescription later today so hopefully it will help.

Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well this Saturday.

My doctors appointment in Tuesday was really good. She agreed to do a blood test for a full blood count and my thyroid. She said she didn't see the need to do vitamin D as I live in the west of Scotland so to just take a supplement. I asked a few questions about whether certain things that I'd done or had happened could have caused the miscarriage (even though I knew the answer was likely no) but it was so reassuring to hear someone in her position say no and that it was nothing I did and nothing I could have done differently. I also asked how long I'm going to feel like this and she said you can't put a time on it but honestly months and I don't know why, but that in and of itself has made me feel better. Like I'm not weak or crazy for completely succumbing to this grief? I don't know.

I feel a bit like a weight has been lifted. Last week things were so bleak, I honestly felt like I was losing my mind but this week I feel so much better, almost like my old self. Someone said earlier in the thread they notice things are worse around hormone shifts and I wonder if that's true for me as it was my first period last week.

I'm now coming up to my fertile window and I'm trying to be chill and not do too many OPKs etc but failing 😅. We go on holiday on Tuesday and I'm not taking any tests with me so I'm aiming to avoid symptom spotting in the TWW. We're going to America so I'm going to pick up a stash of FRERs too as I can't seem to find them here.

I hope everyone is okay today. I'm so sorry for any of the new joiners. This thread has been such an immense support for me and I'm so grateful to you all.

@Bugdem123 sounds like you had a really positive appointment, and she validated what you've been going through. That's me with my mad hormone shifts haha!

I'm almost 3 weeks on from the MMC and I had started doing OPKs but they weren't going anywhere so I've chucked them and forgetting it this month, it was becoming too obsessive. Just going to have sex when I feel like it, to enjoy it. Then next month after my period I'll do OPKs when things have settled.

It's been a rollercoaster for 2.5 weeks, very grateful to have had this group for the highs and lows!

Sorry to hear about your losses @ThelastRolo20 and @Bugdem123 . I found that taking a break from tracking etc for a couple of months after my MC really helped. I also really focussed on myself, I starting exercising and doing yoga and eating healthy etc, it felt empowering to practice some self care after feeling like absolute crap for so many weeks. I also booked a romantic weekend for my partner and I to have something to look forward to without any pressure, just to dedicate time to ourselves. I found it helped the healing process x

@LexIvy88 thanks love, I have felt loads better the last 48 hours after making the decision I have to admit.

Although it's been more wine drinking than yoga 😂 getting my hair and a massage done next week though, so that's my self care. Hope you're doing okay x

@ThelastRolo20 just right, wine drinking is 100% also self care 😂. Hair and massage sounds lush, enjoy it x

Hi all, I'm just marking my place in the new thread, thanks for making it.

I'm 10 dpo but haven't been testing. I'm pretty sure I'm getting my pre period symptoms. I didn't expect things to work out in the first month since my smm but I'm still a bit sad.

@CluelessInLondon how's everything going? So glad to hear you got your period!

Morning everyone, hope you all had a nice weekend and are feeling okay going into another week.

@Bugdem123 That's great that you had such a positive appointment with your GP and are feeling so well-supported. I think everyone here could have told you that you're not weak and there's nothing wrong with feeling such a strong sense of grief, but I know what you mean about feeling reassured to hear it from a doctor. I've definitely noticed everything feeling calmer emotionally since my period came and went - I assumed the hormones rebalanced after the HCG left my system, but I definitely think I needed to have a period to get back onto a properly even keel. I am incredibly jealous of your holiday! Have an amazing time and don't worry at all about anything to do with TTC apart from the fun bit...

@WolfMother326 Things are going okay for me at the moment, generally a bit more on top of the emotions than I was a couple of weeks ago, which feels like a big step forward. Starting TTC again but I'm not likely to ovulate for about another week so trying not to get too obsessive over it - keeping away from the OPKs until later this week! How are you doing at the moment?

Hey everyone, I wonder if I can join?

I had a MMC 5 years ago, (stopped trying after this) I then had another in Sept this year which was followed by a chemical straight after in Oct! So 3 in total! I'm almost 36.

I've had some testing done which came back all normal. I've just got my static smiley this morning so hoping for a miracle very soon.

I've been taking all the recommended vits and wondering if I should take low dose aspirin from now, can't do any harm!

I'm finding the whole process exhausting!

I've just found this thread and been reading all the posts, I'm so sorry for what everyone has been through, sending you all positive thoughts 💫

Welcome @Sunny192 and I'm sorry to hear about your losses. It's good that you've at least been able to get some tests done - I know it doesn't help with the experience of the loss, but hopefully it means your luck will change soon and I really hope that's right around the corner for you. ❤

@Sunny192 sorry to hear this, it's so hard. I'm 34 so a similar age, the MMC a few weeks ago was really tough!

Glad your tests came back normal but I guess that can be hard as there's nothing obvious to fix! Fingers crossed for you this month xx

@ThelastRolo20 I'm 34 too! All the similarities are starting to get spooky!

@Sunny192 hey! Welcome and sorry to hear about your losses, what a rubbish time - I hope you find this thread a helpful source of support 💕

Re baby aspirin I took it before my last mc and in hindsight I wish I hadn’t - I read so much on here about how people’s doctors and midwives said it couldn’t do any harm and ignored the odd thing I found that it could potentially increase the risk for some people. I’ve since found that at Coventry they only prescribe low dose aspirin after 7 weeks, as it can increase your risk before that unless your tests have shown you have a blood-clotting issue. For women with recurring unexplained mcs it’s also only been shown to improve outcomes in cases of late MCs. It probably didn’t but I’ve just got the niggle now that it caused my most recent mc at 5.5 weeks so I’ve binned the lot and won’t take it again unless explicitly told to.

Best of luck this ovulation goes well and sticks for you - I’m currently 4/5dpo on my first ovulation after a mc 3 weeks ago 🤞🏼🤞🏼 xxxx

Hi all,
Joining this thread in the hope that I can speak to some ladies who have had similar experiences.
I found out I was pregnant in September after 14 months of trying to conceive. We had just seen our GP and were starting to have tests done. Everything had been fine until last Thursday when I started bleeding. I called EPAC and was booked in for a scan, by Friday it had got a lot worse and an internal scan confirmed a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I’ve been bleeding heavily since then but the tissue/clots appear to have stopped and I’m no longer in any pain, which is a relief.
I just feel completely crushed, especially after it took us so long to conceive to begin with.
Just wondering how long people had bleeding for and how long it took for your cycles to get back to normal?
I don’t think I’ll feel better until we get our little rainbow😓

@Bcec I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I found the first couple of weeks particularly difficult emotional so please look after yourself. My MMC was three weeks ago (I was 12 weeks, baby measuring just shy of 10 weeks) so obviously my cycle hasn't returned yet. I'm assuming it'll come back in another 2/3 weeks.

@PADonk ha! Lots of similarities 😊 hope you're doing okay? X

@Bcec I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you have lots of support from your loved ones and please go easy on yourself, it's such a hard thing to experience. I had surgery for my miscarriage in September as it didn't pass naturally, so a slightly different experience to yours - my period came back 5 weeks after the surgery so I'm now in what is hopefully my first normal cycle post-MC.

@Sunny192 and @Bcec so sorry you find yourselves here, but welcome. This is an amazingly supportive group of women and sadly, we all know what you're going through all too well. Sending hugs. @Bcec with my MMC in April, I had heavy/clotty bleeding for 3 days, followed by lighter bleeding for about a week. Got my negative pregnancy test 3 weeks after the bleeding started, and my period arrive two weeks after that (so, 5 weeks from bleeding starting). I hope things get back into sync quickly for you. It's a horrible limbo waiting around after the loss and just wanting to be able to start looking forwards again.

Updated from me.. I think my bleeding has just about stopped. Another two weeks until I officially test, although may do one a bit sooner just to see what is happening. I'm in two minds about opks... I think I might just to keep an idea of my cycles.. but still feel we should probs hold off trying again until my appointment with the fertility consultant comes through. At the very least, it would probably be good to have one proper period before we try again as I've had a CP bleed and then a MC bleed in a row with no proper normal cycles in-between. Not quite sure where my head is at. Some days I'm weirdly blasè about it all and then others the slightest thing will set me off crying. All very normal I guess. Really never imagined I'd be in this position of 3 losses in a row. It's been a tough year. I know we shouldn't wish time away but I'm quite looking forward to 2024 and hopefully putting all this behind us.

I've had a letter from the mental health support midwife and hopefully will be getting an appointment through soon to talk things through with her. Not quite sure what I'm hoping for from that but I'm just conscious that I'm quite battered and bruised and I think having someone external talk me through everything will be good. We'll see.

Hope everyone else is ok. X

Hi everyone 💕
@Bugdem123 oooh a holiday to the US sounds AMAZING! I’m very jealous! Enjoy the break / holiday sex (!) and stocking up on cheap Frers 😆 x
@Sunny192 sorry you find yourself here. Back to back losses are exhausting and it makes you question so much. You’re in the right place to vent. Hopefully your sticky bean is just around the corner 🤞🏻 x
@Bcec I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’ve had several MCs but with my most recent natural one at 8 weeks I bled for just under two weeks. It started off very heavy but tailed off and was more like spotting the second week. It sounds like you’ve gone through the worst of it 🤞🏻 If it’s any consolation, my ovulation kicked in the same way it does every month - my MCs didn’t impact anything so hopefully it will be the same for you. It’s so so tough, especially when you’ve been trying and hoping for such a long time. X
@SnookyPook awww you’ve really been through it lately so im not surprised you’re feeling a bit all over the place ☹️ It’s a positive step that your bleeding is stopping. Do you know roughly how many weeks / months until your fertility appointment is? Hopefully the wait won’t be too long 🤞🏻 xx

@CrazyMILonthecase all I know is they said weeks not months... Hoping I hear soon!

How are you doing? Xx

@SnookyPook weeks is good! Fingers crossed you hear soon 🤞🏻
I’m doing ok. Had lots of distractions so haven’t had time to dwell on things too much but I get moments of “has this really happened to me? Did I really go through that?” and it hits me like a wave. Hoping to ovulate this week so I’m praying it works (although I’ve also lost hope if I’m honest!)xx