Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@Sunbird24 well that sucks massive.

Hi everyone, joining this club now, and feeling completely defeated. I've had brown spotting and on-and-off cramps for a week now (since the day after BFP), one tiny red smear but no other clots / bleeding. I've always been cynical about my fertility and thought that my chances of a MC were high even though I have never had any reason to. To be proven right is really gut-wrenching, like I maybe somehow caused this with a negative attitude.
I've only had my MC confirmed by a GP using hCG levels (725 at 5+0 and 830 at 5+2) as she says my EPU won't see me as I was only 5+2 when it was confirmed. I feel in such limbo. My GP says she actually doesn't expect me to bleed at all so I'm just to do a pregnancy test in a week and another the week after if that's positive. Does this sound right to everyone? It's making me uneasy that nothing major has actually happened physically and I'm supposed to just accept that it's over without ever being seen by a medical professional. Do some women not bleed? And how could my GP know I would be one of them? Any help or advice would be amazing. xx

Hey @jellybeanjc so sorry you’re going through this, it completely sucks. You definitely didn’t cause it yourself - if we could make the negative stuff happen just by our thoughts we should be able to make the positive stuff happen too right?
Your GP may be right about the EPU, but there’s no harm in calling them on Tuesday anyway surely?

Hi there I’m new to mums net just to get some advice, I’m hoping someone can help me, sorry for ramble but here it goes.
so I recently found out I was pregnant (on the 1st of April) which I’m overjoyed about, (my partner got told there was a 90 percentage chance he couldn’t have them)
so all has been going well up until about 3 days ago… before I was struck with terrible morning sickness and had to have a few days off work, which again is a concern as surely I’m not far along enough to have them symptoms yet…. But now they have completely vanished to the point I don’t even feel pregnant anymore, has anyone else had this?
I don’t even have my first appointment with my midwive until the 16th
and just wondering if anyone has advice…, is it possible I’ve stuffed a silent miscarriage or maybe not even been pregnant in the first place?
i was thinking about booking a reassurance scan, but don’t believe I’m far enough gone for that either. 😅

Hi @Lozwilson its pretty normal for symptoms to come and go apparently, have you tested again to see if it’s still positive? How many weeks are you? The EPU probably wouldn’t see you but if you’re more than 6 weeks you could pay for a private scan?

Hi thanks for you reply, I tested again a few days ago one was a clear blue which was still showing as 3+weeks and I took a first response one which only showed a very faint line, which I’ve read may be a sign of an miscarriage?

Hey all. I’m 2 weeks and 5 days passed my medical managed misscarriage at 6 weeks and 2 days after finding no heart beat, so hard as we’d seen it the week before. Still bleeding on and off, but mainly darker brown blood, and testing positive. Mad how much I wanted a positive line and now I’m desperate for a negative so we can start again.
I’m 31 and this was our first and we’re absolutely heartbroken. Couldn’t agree more j knew the risks and we even discussed them but it still floored us when it happened.
i guess I’m unlikely to ovulate now before getting a period as I’m already almost 3 weeks out. How long did everyone take to stop bleeding and or test negative?
so sorry for all your losses, and hoping we all get our happy endings 💕

Hi @LaurenFM , so sorry you’re going through this too. If you’re still testing positive tomorrow I would call the EPU for another scan so they can check you haven’t got anything retained - don’t do what I did and leave it 6 weeks! It can take that long for your period to come back, but you should be getting negative tests after about 3 weeks.

Thanks @Sunbird24 the worst girl gang ever ay! I did think I would call tomorrow, would be 3 weeks Wednesday but I’m hoping they’d take my call a day early and book me for a scan. The number of tests I’ve gone through is ridiculous.
Just feels like life stands still for you whilst everyone else moves on doesn’t it. There’s so little aftercare, you end up searching the internet for answers. So desperate to try again but I know I will forever be changed by our little bean.
It’s the most isolating and traumatic experience.
Gosh 6 weeks that’s horrible. How are you doing now? 💐

I’m doing ok thank you, did have a little wobble the other day over my neighbours having yet another one but I know it’s two completely separate journeys.

Aww I can only imagine how hard that must’ve been. It’s like it happens to you and everywhere you look are pregnancy announcements and babies. Fingers crossed we get out rainbow baby soon.
I feel like I’m just going to get dismissed when I called the EPU but hopefully they agree to see me.

@LaurenFM sorry for your loss.
been 12 days for me since medical management but I have retained tissue. Still wiping brown. But not much else is happening.

i haven’t bothered testing again as it was so positive. Figured it will take ages to go down and won’t if that tissue is in there likely.

sigh. Feels like a lifetime your waiting doesn’t it to get it all “sorted out” as such.

Deff call them. They should of scanned you after anyway really. Did they not? Mine have been scanning me every week.

Thanks @Indianna2006 sorry for yours too. There really isn’t any words I know :(

It really does feel like a lifetime doesn’t it!
I’ve done so many but the line is still there dark as ever.
Aww no way! I’ve had no scans, just a leaflet to go home with and no aftercare. I’m based in Wales, I’m guessing your England?
Hope it passes for you soon. It’s so hard to move forward when your stuck in limbo. I heard so many great stories of people who ovulated within 2 weeks and caught. So didn’t expect the drawn out experience :(

@LaurenFM yes I’m in England. So maybe policy is different. Deff ring up tomo hun. After 3 weeks. It should be starting to fade out at least at get least dark I imagine. Best just to check rather than wait another 3 to find retained product.

some people will get a negative with retained product as it will gradually disappear. Others they won’t as if it’s part of placental tissue etc. it will keep some hcg in your system. So if hcg doesn’t drop period takes ages to arrive if ever. And obv infection risk. So keep an eye on it.

i know sooo long.
well I’ve had a mc before. And it cleared itself naturally within 12 days of bleeding. And I was cleared and no tissue remaining. And it took 3 weeks for negative test. And then I ovulated week later. So period arrived 6 weeks after miscarriage

but with retained tissue I imagine this maybe longer. 😞😞
hoping my light period is getting rid of the rest but not hopeful

@Indianna2006
Aww that makes sense. Wish they did that here. Really hope it won’t take long for you, and so sorry to hear you’ve gone through this twice. I can’t begin to imagine.

Yep will do. Think I’m doing my husbands head in over analysing everything but it’s hard not to when you have no idea what your body is doing.

@LaurenFM yes same. Poor guys we drive them mad.

i had a mc first pregnancy. Then got my DD. Who is 4. And this was second DD.

although had taken us 9 months to fall pregnant this time. So here we are a year later. Back at the beginning 😞

trying not to get too down about it. As the age gap just keeps getting bigger.

@Indianna2006 Aww that gives me hope on a rainbow baby! Fingers crossed on a sinking for your DD 🤞🏻

Booked in with the EPU for an internal scan on Friday, so relieved as still positive and bleeding today. Just ready to start moving forward now!

@LaurenFM oh that’s good! What will you do if they do find retained tissue? Opt for surgery to clear it?

I’m being seen tomorrow now as I had no more bleeding from second round of medical management. So seems it has not worked.
so think if it’s still measuring same and not budged I opt for surgery.

Altho worried about that as wanted to avoid it due to the risks. But can’t keep going round in circles forever.

@Indianna2006 So frustrating that it didn’t work for you 2nd time round :(
Yeah I think I’d opt for the d&c too. My husband isn’t too keen due to risks either.
But they had said the risks were the same as the medical management when I was in last time so hopefully that’s the case.
I’d definitely rather just get it done and be able to move forward. Hate being in limbo.

@LaurenFM yeh it really is horrible. I’ll update you with how I get on tomorrow

God I've just had an awful experience. I'm still off work as I'm bleeding still and don’t want to be stuck in a classroom unable to deal with it. My cleaner has just come in and said: "Are you ok? What's up? Please tell me you're pregnant and off with morning sickness?" I was so shocked that I just told her no and ran out of the house and hid in my local park for 2 hours. I know she didn't mean any harm and she wasn't to know but it's really knocked me! Just feel like crying now.

Oh no @jellybeanjc! Are you ok?

I’ve had several surgeries under general anaesthetic now because of my body being a twat, I know they tell you about the risks but I’ve honestly only had good experiences (other than needing it repeated because they missed a bit). The consultant said they don’t like to do more than two surgeries in the same cycle/miscarriage but anything up to and including two is pretty low risk.

Yep us posted @Indianna2006 🤞🏻

@jellybeanjc Aww I’m so sorry. It’s mad how the unexpected comments can absolutely kick you down isn’t it. Hope your okay!

@Sunbird24 That’s reassuring to hear! I’d much rather it be over so if it’s necessary I’ll be just glad to get it done.

Hiw is everyone doing? @Indianna2006 & @jellybeanjc, are you both ok?

Ahhh - thank you for checking in. That's so kind of you. I'm ok thanks- had a very nearly negative test at the weekend so trying to keep positive. I was talking to a girl at work today about the fact that I'm already worrying about what might happen when we try again!