Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

Thanks @Sunbird24

I disappeared for a bit but still here supporting/ being supported

How are things?

Hi @Yutes, hope you’re doing ok?
I’m 8 weeks out from my latest MC now, and apparently the results of the genetic tests have finally been sent to my consultant so I’ll be ringing up tomorrow to make an appointment. Have to be prepared in case they show nothing wrong though!

@Sunbird24 I’m about 10 weeks post miscarriage. Had my first period since, so feeling a lot more positive.
I have an appointment with assisted conception in 2 weeks. So we’ll see what happens with that.

I still get a punch to the gut when I see pregnant people or someone is due around what should have been my due date. But I suppose I just need to get on with it really

Hi all. I'm unfortunately joining this club after having a MMC at 19 weeks. We found out at a scan that there was no heartbeat

I've struggled with fertility due to PCOS for years, so it seems so cruel.

I’m so sorry @sayanythingelse, that must be so hard for you 💐

Just checking in to see how everyone’s getting on?
I’ve got to wait another week for my test results as the consultant isn’t in this week to review them.

@Sunbird24 I am joining this club unfortunately. I had a MMC at ten weeks around 2 weeks ago now. I had a natural miscarriage the bleeding has stopped now apart from when I wipe. It also seems to come and go. I want to try again but don't know when it is safe to do so. Haven't had any support or follow ups so don't know if everything has passed. The aftercare is shocking. X

@Skl2021 I’m so sorry. The advice usually seems to be wait until after you’ve had a period, but I think that’s more because it makes it easier to know how far along you are than because there’s any risk to trying earlier. The most important thing is that you feel physically and emotionally ready. You’ve been through a massive trauma, but everyone recovers in their own way and at their own pace. 💐

@Sunbird24 yes I thought that but seen loads of people try straight away. I have just taken a pregnancy test for the first time since miscarriage and it's negative. I could cry I'm so relieved I'm finally getting somewhere. I was so scared of having a procedure if there was anything left. However I also took a opk test and that's positive. Surely this means I'm ovulating already as there no HCG for it to pick up? It's so early. IL attach a pick x

Has anyone had really bad nausea? I never thought I would feel so physically ill from a MC 😞

Yes @1stTimeTina
I was really sick during my miscarriage. There’s lots they don’t tell you

@Yutes do you mind me asking how long yours lasted? Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel x

I had medical management, so it was a horrendous 8 hours on a day ward

Hi Tina, how are you getting on? The one I had that completed naturally with no intervention lasted about 8-10 days, but still had a bit of spotting for another few days after that

@Yutes I’m sorry to hear that!

@Sunbird24 I’ve been bleeding for 2 and a half weeks but it’s finally starting to ease off , the nausea has been back about a week, got another scan on Friday which will be my third , hoping it’s either gone on it’s own or they can help me then, as this waiting is torture . When did you start to feel well again? I’m wiped!

I’m afraid I don’t really remember, that one was nearly a year ago and I’ve had 2 more since then which both put me in A&E so they’ve kind of overwritten the memories. 🤦‍♀️ Fingers crossed that it resolves quickly, that’s a long time to be bleeding for. Have they checked for anaemia? Wouldn’t be at all surprising if your iron was low right now

@Sunbird24 that sounds awful, hoping for a better outcome for you soon!
I thought the same so I’ve ordered some iron sachets , haven’t told the hosp about it yet but I’ll mention it on Friday when I’m in!

Hello, joining this thread that I never thought I’d have to join. Had a miscarriage over the weekend, confirmed yesterday with scan and blood tests. I should have been nearly 7 weeks pregnant. I was bleeding all weekend so the anxiety and stress of waiting for it to be confirmed was horrible, as I still had a glimmer of hope it might be okay. I cried so much over the weekend and had prepared myself for the worst before I even got to EPAU yesterday. Once they told me, I just felt numb to it all, I almost felt relieved that the whole thing was over. They advised me to do a pregnancy test in 2 weeks and that’s it.

I feel like I should be more upset now but I just feel done. I’m still bleeding eventhough the scan showed my uterus was empty and I just want that to stop now. I am of course gutted, and get a bit teary when I think about what should have been, the due date and little things - for example we’d been planning to buy an armchair that I could eventually put in babys room for breastfeeding, I was looking at armchairs this morning but then realised I have no baby to breastfeed so now no need for the chair. And putting away my pregnancy vitamins and swapping them out for the conception ones hurt too.

I don’t know if how I’m feeling is normal. I feel like I should be more upset, but I just want to move on. This baby was so wanted and we were so excited, I’m worried I won’t have that excitement again if I get pregnant again, just fear and anxiety. I’m terrified of going through the same thing again but also can’t wait to be pregnant again.

Clearly my head is in a bit of a mess, as I’ve been writing my thoughts down here I realised it’s all a bit of a jumble!

Thanks for reading, if anyone is!!

So sorry Juniper, it’s an awful experience to go through, so hopefully there’s some comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
Don’t worry about ‘normal’, there’s no such thing. Whatever you’re feeling (or not right now) is ok. Your body, your brain and your heart are entirely your own, and they will get you through this in their own way and their own time.

I honestly didnt think this would be a club that i would be joining either.

After an ectopic pregnancy in jan, we decided to try again end of may and found out i was pregnant again in early september.

Was dated later than expected and hgc levels not rising properly (should have realised at that point something would go wrong) finally saw babys heart beat on 15th october (baby loss awareness day) measuring exactly 6 weeks.

However the joy was short lived exactly 2 weeks later start spotting which gets heavier so end up in epu sunday night. Cervix closed so thought great things are ok baby will be fine and it will be the numerous different reasons for bleeding during pregnancy.

Reassurance scan on 8weeks plus 3 confirmed mmc. Babys heart stopped not long after the scan and clearly my body whilst needed to let go the cervix wasnt.

Yesterday had medical management to help open the cervix and managed to just get home before the baby came away. Then the heavy bleeding started (only me would do it backwards than expected).

Now in rest and recovery mode. Nearly cried my eyes out in tescos earlier because i felt sick as the pregnancy symptoms just dont disapear either.

Whilst the bleeding isnt as bad as my period 24 hours later, its the hormonal aspect that is getting to me. The i still feel pregnant and still have the symptoms.

@JuniperAndTonic and @Comz I’m so sorry, it’s just so unfair isn’t it. I think @Sunbird24 put it really well, the one thing I’ve learnt is that everyone’s experiences are so different than others with this so there’s no wrong or right way to feel, just gotta take time and look after yourself. I hear you on the pregnancy symptoms, that part feels so cruel, ive been bleeding now for nearly three weeks , got a third scan tomorrow to confirm but they’re 99% sure it’s a miscarriage (and I’m. 110% sure). But the nausea is flooring me, think I’m low on something too because of the constant bleeding which I guess won’t help. Never expected to be so physically ill from this, as if the psychological isn’t hard enough ey! Rambled somewhat there, but just want to say I’m so sorry, it’s really sh|t , and look after yourself xxxx

Thank you @Sunbird24 and @1stTimeTina for your words 💐 I think that’s how I feel - that it’s just so unfair! We had so many plans for our baby, so many hopes and such excitement and I think that’s what breaks my heart the most to think about.

Good luck for your scan @1stTimeTina and I hope the symptoms settled for you soon!

Sorry you’re going through the same @Comz 😢 be kind to yourself!

Thank you everyone. It is proper shit. Whilst my partner said yesterday he doesnt think its meant to be that we have a child together especially after 2 losses in the space of 11 months and it was his decision to try. I'm not sure of what I want to do moving forward and agree with you all that time is now needed to rest and heal before any decisions are made.

Its really weird that I recieved more compassion at the hospital for my mmc compared to the ectopic and yet its still a loss.

@Comz I agree, you don’t need to make any decisions straight away! Give yourself a break and time to heal, spend some time with your partner and grieve together and hopefully you’ll come out stronger than ever and you can make a decision together when the time is right!

My gut instinct is that I want to try again straight away, but I’ve started to think about maybe waiting until the new year now, enjoy Christmas with my family without any pressure or stress.

I felt the staff at the hospital weren’t really that compassionate, but I don’t know what else they could have said really to make me feel better. I won’t get a follow up so I asked a couple of questions about when I could try again etc and but they told me I should get closure on this pregnancy first and made me feel a bit silly for asking. Eventhough with no follow up I won’t get a chance to ask anyone those questions! So I’ve relied on the internet to give me answers instead! The miscarriage association and Tommy’s website have been particularly helpful xx

@JuniperAndTonic I have thought the same about making decisions after Xmas.

I cannot fault the care I had this time, the nurse I had was great. She explained the whole process from beginning to end and set the what to expect and even called me to see if I was OK and allowed me to ask any questions I had as well as discussed what future care I would recieve if I was to try again.

She advised me to wait until I stop bleeding before doing anything due to the risk of infection (bleeding post mmc usually lasts about a week on avg but could be longer depending on your body), to take a pregnancy test 3 weeks after mmc and if is positive to call them back but if its negative then to wait until my first period before trying again.

Said to expect my period 3-6 weeks after the bleeding stopped. I'm not at increased risk of another miscarriage or mmc but will always be under there care for early pregnancy because of the ectopic which was nice to hear (as I saved my tube and this time I ovulated from the same side ... so it was a relief that the bits and peices do work). The only thing she didn't give detail of was about the pregnancy symptoms still being about or the still feeling pregnant. But maybe people's symptoms disappear straight away and others don't.

The difference in compassion between the 2 is stark. I was allowed to see the scan and take a pic home with regards to the mmc but wasn't allowed to even see the scan on the ectopic (did see the sac through the reflection on her glasses though). Every person I spoke to it was your hear for ... when this time it was firstly sorry for your loss.