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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

986 replies

Sunbird24 · 20/10/2021 20:54

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

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calimc83 · 29/05/2022 22:28

@Sunbird24 thanks. I've just finished it starts with the egg. Guessing adding some supplements to my diet can't hurt. I have a feeling my MC have been caused by chromosome issues ( I'm 39) and have had 2 healthy babies in the past. I hate not knowing what's caused these ones though, I just want answers x

Sunbird24 · 29/05/2022 22:36

@calimc83 could be, with my 3rd & 4th ivf MCs they did genetic testing - 3 had a trisomy, 4 had no chromosome defects so my body just rejected the pregnancy for some other reason. I was 42 at egg collection, but clearly at least one of my embryos was perfectly normal. That’s one thing they can’t test for in natural conception, but fingers crossed you’ve still got some good quality eggs in there as well!

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calimc83 · 30/05/2022 07:36

@Sunbird24 I was thinking of going private for IVF and paying to get the genetic tests done on any embryos but think my DH is against that idea and worried about the cost which I totally get. With natural conception it just feels like Russian roulette x

Cdoc · 30/05/2022 08:01

Thank you ladies ♥️ sorry it’s taken me a couple of days to reply, I think I’m still in shock and wishing it not to be happening. I passed a bit of tissue on Saturday night but that aside the bleeding is minimal now, the occasional small clot in the toilet. I’m hoping that means I’ve passed it all but have a scan Thursday to confirm. When would you take a pregnancy test? I don’t want to do it too soon, I think that will just make it harder, but also the 3 weeks they told me to wait feels like a lifetime.

@Sunbird24 that’s exactly it, desperately trying to blame it on something I did wrong, so that I can stop it happening again, but I’m realising I’m not sure I could have done anything differently. It terrifies me it will happen again. So sorry for your loss too.

@41andtryingforfirst I’m so sorry for your loss too, it does feel so surreal. One week you’re picking names and a few weeks later you’re told the baby isn’t growing anymore. It’s heartbreaking.

I think the not being alone is the only thing getting me through at the moment. It felt so lonely in those first few days, family offering kind words but they don’t really understand.

I’m just hopeful my period will come back quickly. Will you wait for a period before trying again? My hospital advised it but I’ve read on here that’s purely for dating and not for baby’s safety, so I’m torn as to what to do.
That first positive line after this will be the best day.

@Annapolis35 oh I am so sorry for your loss too, and for how hard it has been for you. I think there’s almost a feeling that people expect you to bounce back quickly but the reality is so far from that. I’m not sure I’ll ever ‘get over’ this, more just learn to live with it, like any death of someone close. In those short weeks we bonded more than anyone realised I think. I hope trying goes well for you, I would love to hear how you get on

xx

Annapolis35 · 30/05/2022 08:41

@Cdoc Its very very difficult to go through so be easy on yourself. I think of it as like going through a physical assault; being pregnant is hard on your body and suddenly to not be is just mind boggling.

I have waited until a period, as I really didn’t feel emotionally ready and I only really had a normal period 8 weeks after so it feels like my body is ready too finally and has cleared everything out. I’ve read about loads of women though who immediately conceive and go on to have healthy pregnancies. I felt like you in the weeks after and just wanted to be pregnant again immediately, but I just wasn’t really ready for even trying and not exactly in the mood with all the crying haha. I also took a pregnancy test 3 weeks after and it was still positive so had to go back in for a scan, had a little bit of tissue that came out naturally though.

Take your time and take some time off work if you need it. Let people look after you and be gentle on yourself, it’s a horribly painful thing and I’m sure the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I didn’t cope very well with it at all and really struggled, luckily my family and husband have been wonderful. I think learning to live with it is right approach, it becomes a part of you and slowly it will get better.

Sunbird24 · 30/05/2022 10:45

@calimc83 if (god forbid) you have a third MC you should be able to get genetic testing done on the NHS, but you do need to either have the surgical option so they can recover the embryo or find a way to ‘collect’ it yourself if you go medical or natural, which sounds traumatic - I had surgery for 3 and 4 as I haemorrhaged on 2 and 3!

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41andtryingforfirst · 30/05/2022 11:08

Morning all - I hope you're all doing ok. Thanks for your lovely responses. I really appreciate your support.

@Cdoc I'm not intending on waiting for my period. I'm just going to start to try tracking ovulation as soon as I'm able to.

Finally got my blood test results from Saturday - my HCG only dropped by 100 in 48 hours. The doctor is inisistent it is a miscarriage due to my symptoms but I'm not convinced. On Wed it was 4494, on Thursday it was 2790 but on Saturday only 2650 so really not sure what's going on.

Am I being deluded by thinking there's still a baby in there? I've got a scan at 11.40 tomorrow so I guess I'll find out more then x

calimc83 · 30/05/2022 14:00

@Sunbird24 ahh ok, thanks. Gosh I'm finding it hard today, how do u continue TTC after suffering more than one loss? I counted the first one as bad luck but feel like the 2nd one has really thrown me x

RainbowLiverpool · 30/05/2022 17:06

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to be in a space with shared experiences.
I had a missed miscarriage (12th May) baby was supposed to be 8 weeks but showing as 6 and no heartbeat. I had no signs of miscarriage happening naturally so booked in for d&c on Friday 27th.
it was a very lonely experience waiting around for baby to be taken out surgically.
Afterwards I felt relief but a couple of hours after I got home an excruciating pain kicked in and I spent over an hour on the toilet bleeding and vomiting trying not to pass out.
I am still sore but physically getting better. Emotionally it is much harder.
last night I just lay in bed crying for hours, with my husband worrying as he has never seen me like that.
I am managing today but the grief is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. We are doing IVF and this was the first time I ever got pregnant so it seems so cruel.
Thank you all for sharing stories on here. So sorry anyone has to experience this but it is helping me knowing others are going through it too xxx

Sunbird24 · 30/05/2022 17:34

We’re close to running out of space, so I’m going to create the new thread, then I’ll come back and post the link ok?

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Sunbird24 · 30/05/2022 17:39

www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome

New thread.

@RainbowLiverpool 💐 for you, we all understand how you feel.

@calimc83 it sounds callous to say it, but I’ve kind of got used to it - I don’t know what I’ll actually do if I ever get a problem-free pregnancy and a baby in my arms! Each time I get that BFP now it’s nice, but I don’t expect it to last past 8 weeks.

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