Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@Comz I’m glad to hear you had a good experience this time, it’s such a hard thing and to be treated with compassion makes it that tiny bit easier.

I have to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks and then if negative that’s it. I’m pretty sure it will be - HCG was only 100 on Tuesday, dropped from 300 on Sunday. I had no pregnancy symptoms to begin with, never really felt pregnant if I’m honest.

I guess it’s a little different with a MMC though, I imagine it will take longer to drop and you were further along too so I guess that’s why the symptoms are still there. Look after yourself and I hope you are feeling better soon ❤️

@JuniperAndTonic it sounds like your heading in the right direction with the hgc levels.

My beta level was 2479 and was over 3000 when I saw the sac with the yolk sac in and that was 2 weeks before seeing the heart beat, but because the gestational sac measures 8+3 but the baby stopped developing at around 6 weeks my hgc levels would be still high. That's probably why I was told 3 weeks instead of 2. With the ectopic it took nearly 4 weeks for the levels to come down to below 5 before discharge and they was never as high as this time.

Make sure that you take some time for yourself too. Especially once the physical side of things are completed.

Hi @newkillerstar, come on in and join the gang. I’m sorry you’re going through this too.

I got the genetic tests back this morning from my latest miscarriage and the baby had a chromosome defect (trisomy 6). Probably due to ‘advanced maternal age’ - these are eggs from last year so I was 42. I’ve still got 3 embryos but don’t know if any of them are any good now…

Hi everyone, I’d like to join your group, I’m afraid…..I started bleeding last weekend and called my local hospital. A midwife told me it didn’t sound too heavy and booked me into the EPAU the following Tuesday. Unfortunately I started passing huge clots and getting awful pain from the Monday. A scan showed no baby and a transvaginal scan didn’t see one anywhere else. I’m back at the hospital today for another blood test and I just wanted to reach out to others who are experiencing the same. I’m just so devastated and can’t stop crying. Reading some of your experiences has made me feel less lonely though.💕

@VanSmashling sounds the exact same as my experience, it’s heartbreaking, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through it too. Look after yourself and your partner if you have one. We are here on this thread to listen if you need to talk, I know it’s helped me to know I’m not alone in this 💐

@Sunbird24 hope you get some answers about what your results mean for your other embryos - can they do genetic testing before transfer? (Sorry I don’t know much about IVF apart from the basics!)

Thank you so much @JuniperAndTonic. I’m sorry for your loss, and for everyone here. So much heartache.

I’m glad a few people have found the support and information from health professionals good. I found my care to be quite lacking. I thought I was supposed to get a letter about the pathology results from my baby as well, but haven’t received that.

Sorry for sounding like quite a negative Nelly. But I’m feeling quite angry about it all today. Which is a normal emotion as well. But I’m so angry at the lack of support from health care and from my workplace.

Just for anyone else though - I was advised my period should return after 6 weeks and mine took about 16 weeks. So the 6 weeks may be the average but it can be later.

Ugh. Not 16 weeks. Sorry! 9 weeks.

Sorry you’re feeling angry @yutes. Is there anyone you can contact to chase up the results? If not, maybe contact PALS to find out? You shouldn’t have to chase though, when what you’re going through is already hard enough! I know what you mean about the care being lacking - I have to agree with you to be honest, I can’t believe I won’t get any follow up or any further support - all I got was take a pregnancy test in two weeks and if it’s negative you don’t need to do anything else. It feels so wrong!

@Yutes nowt wrong with being angry! All my MCs have started on a weekend, which has made getting care really difficult - 2 of them have been bank holidays!! It’s as if someone thinks these things only happen during office hours!

My 3 remaining embryos can be defrosted to have some cells taken for testing then refrozen until the results come back, but there’s obviously a cost involved, and some risk. The cost I don’t care about, the risk I do. The scariest thing is if I do it and the results come back that they’re all bad then I’m out of options for having a child with any biological link to my family, which is what I really wanted.

How long have you been waiting @Yutes? Mine took 9 weeks

It was 9 weeks between my miscarriage and my period after. They just kept telling me “6 weeks or you’ll be pregnant again”

I wasn’t told to do a pregnancy test or how long the bleeding would last for. I wasn’t told that I shouldn’t do anything heavy until the bleeding had stopped. I wasn’t told what a medical miscarriage was really like. I didn’t know if my partner could come with me. I didn’t know how to get back onto the assisted conception clinic.
I also was left on a limb at work. And prior to my miscarriage they put me in awful positions of practically lone working. And then they had the cheek to tell me that I couldn’t get a collection for my dead baby because no one knew why I was off. The girl who had a miscarriage right after me got one and got alllll the support for being brave and saying that she’s miscarried.

It just sucks

Oh god, tell me about it. Megan Markle shared her miscarriage story right as I was actually going through the first of my IVF ones. I didn’t need some flipping celebrity telling me we should talk more about it and be open about our experiences. She was already bloody pregnant again at that point as the baby I lost was due within a week of her little girl. I mean, pleased for her and all that, but it hurt!

Yes definitely @Sunbird24

I don’t want to talk about it but not down to stigma. Because I don’t want to talk about it!

@Yutes having a miscarriage is so horrendous, to have to deal with everything else - you have every right to be upset and angry. The staff where I attended were nice but under pressure. I was sent from the EPAU to the main hospital bloods lab because they were so busy (the phlebotomist had actually had a miscarriage earlier this year too and was so lovely to talk to it ended up being a good thing) but I was alone and made my way down crying. It was awful. And no one has explained to me what to expect or what’s not normal (unless I have such a massive bleed that I soak a maternity pad in under an hour) that I’m completely unprepared!
Im so sorry for how things have been at work too, it just makes it all so much worse!

@Sunbird24 I totally agree with you! It’s so easy to be grateful when things are looking up! The couple ahead of us at the EPAU came out with scan pictures of their baby (even though she was bleeding lots too) and even though I was pleased for them, I’m miserable for me.

How is everyone feeling today?

I had my third scan this morning and it was inconclusive again, sac had grown but there was no heartbeat and there was bleeding inside the sac, they ended up getting a consultant to review all three scans who confirmed this will not be a successful pregnancy , I now have to choose which method I want to take to complete the MC. It’s so cruel how the hormones can still make you nauseas and still make the sac grow when your baby will not :(

@1stTimeTina I’m so sorry. It’s awful. Feeling pregnancy symptoms but knowing it’s hopeless is just so sickening.💔

Hi everyone, I’ve had 2 mcs in 6 months.

I am actually waiting for this one to start. I’m 7w5d today but at 7w3d I had a private scan where I was told 99% chance I’d lose it due to three ominous factors.

I wondered if anyone had been referred for tests or specialists after 2 mcs? Tommy’s website says some GPs and Trusts will do it.

Hi @WorriedGirl91 so sorry to hear that, unfortunately this is my first so I don’t have any advice just didn’t want to read on without replying, take care xx

I think sometimes it’s a case of asking for it @WorriedGirl91
I don’t know if many GPs actually know the protocol, they certainly don’t in my area

Hi @WorriedGirl91, sorry you’re joining us but you are very welcome.

After my second ivf miscarriage my GP agreed to do the huge list of blood tests that the clinic provided, but I’d also had a MMC from a natural conception many years before so they agreed that was my 3. Do ask, the worst they can do is say no.