Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

@mia2201 lovely to hear from you again. Congratulations on the period (one of the only times I'll say that). Fresh start now lovely. Are you going to try this cycle? I have everything crossed for you! Well done for being so positive and coming so far. You should be so proud of yourself ❤

Thank you for the tag @AMS19
I'm going to take a bit of time off mumsnet for a bit but I'll check in from time to time.

Totally understandable @glowingtwig we will be here whenever you need anything. Sending lots of virtual hugs 🤗

@AMS19 I’m not sure if he will cave...I’m going to give it my best bloody shot!!! 😀
@Mellous I know, I’ve got a cupboard of pregnancy sticks, hcg strips and ovulation strips!!! I’m good to go whatever happens 🤣
@DMT1982 try not to stress, sounds like you’re doing everything in your power to make yourself as egg-ready as poss so I’m sure IVF and egg retrieval isn’t needed just yet! 🤗

@mia2201 congrats on your period - yes I did just write that sentence!! Not something I’ve ever congratulated anyone on before 😅 it must be so reassuring for you that everything has kicked back in and you’re on a fresh cycle. Good luck with trying again - fingers and toes crossed for you! X

Hi @AMS19! Thank you. I am sorry also, but so glad that we have this forum to share our experiences honestly. I haven’t commented much on the threads but just wanted to join you ladies! It really does help.

In all honesty as soon as my miscarriage bleeding finished we started trying! Just as a means of coping with the heartache. It does drive you stir crazy. But I hope you’re doing okay, sending lots of love your way xx

Hi ladies I'm having a bit of a mixed day my bleeding has stopped I had hoped for this for 2 weeks but now hit with massive sadness that it has. For me it means everything is done, the pregnancy, the miscarriage and now back to "normal" I didn't expect it to hit me like this but such is life.
My sleep is still horrendous its looking like potential PTSD from the miscarriage, trauma unit and procedure are not shifting. I just want to get better and feel better and sleep....... I so want to get to the place that some of you are at!

Hi ladies, may I join please?

I started spotting/ bleeding last week and finally got an appointment at EPAU on Friday when I was 12+1. Sadly the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I had my MVA yesterday (it was supposed to be the date for my 12 week can, and we were so looking forward to it) and am now waiting for the bleeding to stop before we can try again.

May I ask how long you bled for after your MVA? And if you have had a period already, what was the gap between the MVA and the period?

@AMS19 the link you posted I have those as well as they come in the fertility pack. I would absolutely stick with what you have because I would have not even known about these if it wasn’t for my auntie and there are so many brands etc out there to choose from its daunting.

I also need to get back on the Pom juice train as well as I stopped that after the miscarriage and drank wine instead!!

I think coffee why’s I will stick with my 1 cup in the morning as that’s all I have and only drink red bush tea or herbal if I have anymore hot drinks throughout the day. I will still have the odd glass of wine and have bought the mini bottles so I don’t open a bottle and drink that in one night.

To the lady whose period has arrived (it won’t let me scroll to the next page for some reason) I totally get why you feel happy about it and are thankful your body is working after what it’s been through as I can’t wait for mine to land so I know where I’m at and that everything is working as it should be xxx

@Pimmsandprimroses sorry to welcome you to this thread. If you’ve read the previous threads you’ll know we are just normal ladies supporting each other through a rubbish time so hope we can help you out as well.

I didn’t have an MVA as opted for surgery under GA so my bleeding was minimal but has spotting of brown stuff for about 2 weeks on and off. I’m 3 weeks today post op and still no actual period but I know lots of girls on here have had an MVA so will hopefully post and advise you. Re a period I was told 4-6 weeks and if it doesn’t arrive after 6 to call them xx

@Summersun001i agree it helps. With the positive tests we arent technically trying but mentally i am tricking my brain to think I'm doing something. Once my period comes and I'm in a clean cycle I'll be back to ovulation tracking and I'm just hoping the miscarriage hasn't impacted my lovely perfect cycles I had before! Are you tracking ovulation or just going off dates?

@Scottishskifun I think every stage brings different emotions and that's totally normal. For me, the stopping of bleeding brought relief but that is because I wanted to try again. Your body has done as an incredible thing and gone through so much. It is so hard knowing you are now physically moving on but also be proud of your body for all its gone through. Each step is another day in the right direction. What's the next stage for thr PTSD? Are you getting therapy from your GP? I honestly think talking to a professional will really help you.

@Pimmsandprimroses hi and welcome. Of course you can join. Firstly I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I had a scan at 6+6 where I saw a heartbeat. Then a private scan at 9+5 where I found out baby was gone (literally, it had disintegrated and just had a growing sac). If I hadn't seen a baby with a heartbeat it would have been classed as a blighted ovum. I had my MVA on NYE (after 2 days in hospital waiting for surgery which kept getting cancelled). I only had properly bleeding for 2ish days, then spotting for another week or so. I stopped all bleeding completely around 10-11 days post mva. I'm now 2 weeks 6 days post mva. I'm still getting very faint positive pregnancy tests but seems my body is still trying to ovulate (albeit very very likely won't given the positive tests). So I suspect I'm still maybe 2-4 weeks away from a period, but obviously that's purely a guess!

@glowingtwig please come back and update us on how you’re getting on from time to time as I would love to know how everyone is getting on down the line xxx

Morning @AMS19! Of course. It is such a difficult time. I think it took me at least a fortnight to just accept that I had no control over what needed to happen. It would take as much time as it needed. So heartbreaking. I’m only a little ahead of you but honestly, being a part of this thread and helping other women is so admirable. Things do get a little easier over time.

No I know! I also had perfect cycles. So fingers crossed. We were TTC for quite some time, and we conceived the first month of trying opks. I have quite a long cycle so apps would normally place me at around day 18 for ovulation but I found I was ovulating as early as day 13! So I will be testing again - currently am now but not even the slightest increase. We’ll get there I suppose! Having read your other responses - I too believe that I ovulated immediately after my miscarriage - literally the day after I stopped bleeding and much like you my positive tests were reeeeally faint.

@Scottishskifun I have been experiencing the same. Up until around NYE I was really really low, and I recall having flashbacks to being in hospital and I never fully appreciated how traumatic a miscarriage is. For me, the fact that my OH couldn’t come in made it worse as I was so upset. And the waiting around on the bed half naked, it’s just so impersonal and I felt so vulnerable! Just in terms of not knowing what was going on. I’ll never ever forget the way I felt. I have midwife counselling shortly after, and I found that podcasts helped me so much. I’ve mentioned these on other threads but Giovanna Fletcher covers miscarriage in a couple of her podcasts - one in particular with Anna Whitehouse and it was really good. I also bought two books by Zoe Clark-Coates “The Baby Loss Guide” and wow. Heart wrenching but brilliant at the same time, it literally is a guide through what your feeling and has a day-by-day guide on how to cope. I’m still reading mine. I also bought lavender pillow spray to help me sleep. It sounds silly now but a routine for bed - book - bath - glass of wine - candles - bed really helped me. xx

@Pimmsandprimroses hello lovely. I didn’t have a MVA. I had a natural miscarriage, brown spotting for around a week at 8 weeks - to full on bleeding at the beginning of my 9th. Went to the EPU already knowing we’d miscarried and they couldn’t see anything. I bled for around 8 days after that. My period arrived just over 4 weeks later, but I will say I was really shocked at how similar my period bleeding/pain was to my miscarriage and had to take more time off work. That lasted for 5 days and so now..it starts again! Xx

Sorry, I'm struggling to keep up.

@AMS19 @Summersun001 we have officially started trying again but only had sex twice around ovulation so not really counting my chickens. Also reckon I will be equally upset feeling whether its a BFN or BFP in 2 weeks! The main reason we started trying when I saw the positive OPK was that my cycles before the pregnancy were ridiculously long and I'm worried they will go back to that, meaning we have barely any chances in a year.

So... That's me technically in the 2WW again I guess!

Hello I hope it’s ok for me to post here? I didn’t get a reply on my own thread. Ttc number 3 and currently having an early miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks.
I only bled for 24 hours and now have brown sticky stuff (sorry tmi!) my temperature is still high and I wondered if that’s normal?
Also what do I count as cd1 so we can get back to ttc please?
Thanks so much
Laura x

@Laur13 unfortunately the apps are awful with post-MC, and you'll likely find that your temps are a bit all over the place. I think generally people use the first day of bleeding as CD1 though. However, your period probably will be later than CD 28-30.

In general, they advise you not to have sex again until bleeding stops (infection risk) and its usually best not to do so until you get a BFN test. Otherwise you wont know if a positive is a new pregnancy, leftover hormones from this one, or worse still leftover tissue from this one (which would require medical intervention).

For me, it has taken 6 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test and to ovulate again, but I was much further along so hormone was higher. Others have found once they have finished bleeding they test negative.

Wishing you luck, and glad you have found our group x

Thanks very much for your reply I haven’t taken anymore tests I don’t know why but I have a bit of an aversion to them at the moment 🙈
I will re test on the weekend. I’m sorry for your loss 😔 it’s just awful isn’t it. X

@Summersun001 that's interesting you think you ovulated even with the super light positives. I have no idea if I'm ovulating or not. Which in some ways is nicer. I think I'll probably just assume I'm not ovulating until I get a negative test, but will assume I might then ovulate pretty soon after that! Praying I go back to my CD13 ovulation too! I was lucky enough to fall first cycle so really praying I fall again soonish, though equally happy to wait a couple of months to keep working on improving my eggs

@TheDaydreamBelievers what DPO are you now? Fingers crossed for you!

@Laur13 I don't have much to add beyond what @TheDaydreamBelievers said. I think using first day of bleeding makes sense but don't be dishearten if things are exactly as usual because your body will need time to recover. Really sorry for your loss!

Thank you @AMS19 and you ❤️

Thanks for sharing your info @DMT1982, @AMS19, @Summersun001.

I think to compensate for the loss of control and the MC I am trying to figure out ways in which I can control my next cycle and calculate when I might ovulate. Obviously, not an easy thing to do. Perhaps not that desirable either... But it keeps me looking ahead rather than dwell on the past few weeks.

@AMS19 3dpo, so will test a week on sunday if no AF

@Pimmsandprimroses if you go into the Zita West website for fertility and download one of her PDFs she talks about ovulation and how to track if you are not regular. You have to subscribe to her emails to get it but then it’s very informative so maybe worth a read xxx

@Summersun001 ooh thanks for the podcast and book recommendation.
@TheDaydreamBelievers TTW! It took me around 8 months to fall pregnant so I remember that well...hope the two weeks go quickly for you! 🤗
@Laur13 I’m so sorry for your loss, it really is awful 😒 I had surgical management so I’m counting CD1 from the day of my op but I really have no idea if that’s right!? From previous experience I ovulated exactly 3 weeks to the day of my op and fell immediately pregnant so I don’t know how long it would have taken for my period to set in but I would guess about 5 weeks post op xx

@SuzieDeLaTour you give me hope!!!

@TheDaydreamBelievers so exciting to have someone in the TWW already - I hope it's not messing with your mind too much! Hopefully it passes quickly and without too much symptom spotting haha!

@AMS19 I do believe you can Ovulate with low levels of HCG still, I think that's how so many people end up pregnant so quickly after miscarriage! Surely they can't all have completely eradicated all the pregnancy hormones before falling again.

@Laur13 hi, I'm sorry for your loss! My temps took a while to come down, and didn't come down significant until after my MVA. On the day of my MVA my temp was 36.89. I'm nearly a week on from my MVA and my temp is sitting consistently at about 36.3 at the mo. Previous cycle my highest temp pre-ovulation was 36.25 and lowest was around 35.95 so I would imagine my temp is still going to come down in the next week or so. I counted the day of my MVA as CD1 but I had been bleeding heavily before that. If you've miscarried naturally I would count first day of heavy bleeding as CD1 but don't expect it to follow the same timings as a normal cycle! Hope this helps x

Can anyone tell me, with the pom juice do you take it leading up to Ovulating? The whole way through cycle?? Tempted to try as it can't hurt! I want a nice thick fluffy lining if I'm going to try before having a proper period!