Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 2. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Hi ladies

This thread is open for EVERYONE. To discuss the highs, lows, emotions, and experiences of us all going through our miscarriage journey. Together we will get through this!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4119053-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC?pg=1

To my incredible strong warriors...I cannot believe we filled a thread! We've got this ladies ❤
@DMT1982
@Scottishskifun
@glowingtwig
@mia2201
@Redfoxinthesnow
@Seasalt1984
@laurat94
@tamsin424
@cocoloco88
@SuzieDeLaTour
@Cordial11
@seasalt1984
@thehotelcalifornia
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@Pettylamby
@Lililou
@Enola41
@CocoLoco88
@Nicolamac1
@Sleeeeeepy
@Mellous
@Nicolamac1
@Semla
@Seasidestarfruit
@mummydoingamasters
@elm7
@MrsD1992
@CookieMonster3001
@Dryshampoo32

Sincere apologies for missing anyone xx

Morning ladies

@Seasalt1984 I'm sorry ovulation didn't happen. My cycle was definitely different this time, I ovulated 2 days early. So might take a little time for things to get back into normality. Hopefully it won't be long and the eggs have developed nicely when it doesn't happen

@Ralala ha I know that feeling. Hopefully today it arrives in full force and you can go onto a fresh cycle

@Jujujuberryoh absolutely you should get all the tests you can! I had my thyroid levels tested in case it was that. Ended up being a little higher than I would have liked (albeit within normal range) so I've gone gluten free. Probably didn't need to, but like you felt like I needed something to be different next time around. The anxiety for another pregnancy will be off the scale for all of us, but the chances are still hugely in your favour even after 2 xx

@AMS19 Thank you for your positivity ❤️ I’m currently reading Lesley Regan’s miscarriage book, I think there is a bit too much info as I’m like of gosh what if I have this or that.. but thats just my anxious mind trying to make up scenarios. On the other hand she is so encouraging and no matter what journey your going through your outcome will be a successful happy baby.

Thats great you got your thyroid checked, and why not cut out gluten, it wont hurt.

Morning ladies,
I have spent quite a bit of time this morning reading your threads and feel like this is a group that will be encouraging. In the past I’ve read threads on mumsnet for that small glimmer of hope when things seemed to be going wrong but today after reading your thread decided to join and comment.
My story starts with a miscarriage in October 2018 at approximately 6/7 weeks- from what I can remember it was like very strong period pains but I seemed to quickly process it in my head and continued with life. We didn’t ttc again until the following October and fell pregnant first time - completely text book pregnancy and I sailed through it even throughout lockdown when I continued to work from home. I reached 40 weeks and went in for a regular midwife appointment when they struggled to find the heart beat- fast forward an hour later and we were at hospital where it was confirmed. I had no inclination anything was wrong as baby had been moving fine the night before. Later that week we gave birth. We ultimately found out it was a knot in the cord and we couldn’t have been aware of that. Our baby boy was perfect. The last seven months have been horrific and my heart is completely broken and I don’t think will ever even slightly repair but we decided to ttc again and after two months we were pregnant testing on Christmas Eve (I just knew I was). This pregnancy got me through Christmas day if I’m honest and I felt everything was fine (because I felt horrific with all the symptoms) until we went for a scan at 6 weeks and it was showing 5. The following week slightly more growth but not enough and I just knew it wasn’t going to work out right. Fast forward to 2nd February and I had an MVA- an experience made so much easier by the lovely consultant and nurses I had that day (compared to the awful staff we experienced during labour with our boy).
So here I am 13 days post MVA and convinced I ovulated Thursday but didn’t DTD until Friday and last night. I did do an ovulation test on Friday and it says peak but I know hormones can still be in my body. If I’m honest I don’t want to do a pregnancy test as I’d rather for just now keep dtd until AF arrives but then I bet in a couple of weeks I’ll still be waiting on AF.
Apologies for the long story (which I’ve obviously tried to summarise my baby journey in!) and if you’ve kept reading thank you!xxx

@KJLM hello. Wow what a horrific journey. I honestly can't even begin to imagine. You are such an incredibly strong lady to try again. I'm so so sorry for what you've been through, there are just no words.

I didnt ovulate until 6 weeks after my MVA but was further gone than you. I've only in the last week got a negative on a FRER. Are you getting support in terms of recurrent miscarriage but also mentally? What you've been through is extreme so please make sure you have progressionals supporting you through this. Sending you so much love xx

@kjlm Oh my love, I'm so very very sorry for your losses and what you must have been through, there aren't enough words to express it. My heart absolutely breaks for you losing your perfect little boy. My Mum had a full term loss that sounds very similar to your experience which was followed by a miscarriage. She's only recently opened up about how painful it was. I'm glad you've felt able to share your story and I hope this lovely group can give you support and solace. My mum went on to have me and my sister and we've always known about her losses and they've been part of our family story. In time (which is so cruel and slow when you're in the depths of grief) things will get brighter and I so hope for you that you get your rainbow. You will have good things in time. Sending so much love xxx

@KJLM what a journey you have been on. I echo what the others have said.

Also hello to the all new ladies. Sorry I haven’t had time to respond individually xxx

Thank you @AMS19 @Seasalt1984 and @Ralala for your messages.
We’ve thankfully got a great support network around us in the form of friends and our gp is great and the consultant we’ll now be using for any pregnancy going forward is amazing.
It’s always lovely to hear such promising stories like that of @Seasalt1984 ‘s mum going on to conceive and bring home babies.
I’m honestly not here to seek sympathy in respect of our journey so far but rather saw how honest you were all being so thought I should too. I fully believe that every time you see a positive pregnancy test you picture that baby and life no matter what stage loss occurs. I am now very much trying to be of positive thinking when it comes to conceiving and pregnancy after loss (as I’ve been so bloody negative for the last seven months!!!)
I suppose I should bite the bullet and do a pregnancy test to see if it’s negative after MVA rather than trying to guess it all again to get back on track.
I’ll then be able to get back to my routine the last time- healthy eating, exercising, acupuncture, yoga and.... seed cycling! Sounds crazy but I became pregnant last time with seed cycling and it could be totally coincidental but I’ll try it again. It was my acupuncturist who recommended it. Does anyone else have any relaxation tips?

@kjlm That's so great you've got a good support network around you and a mindset that'll help move you forward.

What is seed cycling?! I've not heard of that. Sounds like you've got lots in place already to help with conceiving which is great. I've got no particular tips really, healthy eating, regular exercise and cutting down caffeine and alcohol they're my main ones. I know a few ladies have read it starts with the egg which has some new ideas. @ams19 has read it i think?!

@kjlm sorry just spotted you said relaxation tips and not ttc tips!!

I've recently started an online yin yoga which I've found amazing for relaxation. It's been so good for calming my brain. I've found 6 count breathing helpful too which I got through a work training course. Count 6 in/6 out for 2-3 mins (not deep breaths just longer breaths), there's science behind it that it calms the nervous system down. I was skeptical but had helped.

@KJLM I do yoga nidra before bed but it can be done at anytime just somewhere quiet where you can lie down. There are some on you tube I just ask the Alexa to play it. It's very hippy dippy but does work as a meditation/focus activity. It's been helping me improve with trying to sleep.

@KJLM your comment on seed cycling prompted me to have my seeds for the day! I had forgotten. I'm also looking to do fertility / pregnancy reflexology when lockdown is over to help with the anxiety. You can also come on here and rant to us with your feelings 😊

@Seasalt1984 seed cycling is when you take different seeds pre and then post ovulation to boost oestrogen/progesterone

@AMS19 @Seasalt1984 @Scottishskifun thank you all so much for your recommendations - I will give them all a go!
I’ve also been considering fertility massage which I’d heard to be good- albeit can’t just now because of Covid 🙄
I swear it’s getting to a point there’s not a fad or tip I’ve not tried during our journey but I keep telling myself that when we have our baby home and he or she is grown up I can tell them all the crazy things I tried because they were so so wanted!

@KJLM I'm so sorry to hear all that you've been through. I can't even imagine how difficult it's been for you and your partner. I'm glad to hear you have good support around you and I hope joining this wonderful group of ladies can provide some more support too.

In regards to relaxing, I've been doing zoom yoga classes a few times a week and do a 10min meditation daily which I found on YouTube which has some focus on breathing and then at the end some affirmations. I've been consistently doing the meditation for a week now and think it has really calmed me. I might branch out and find other ones on YouTube if it gets too monotonous but for now this one is good. Other than that I've been doing some really easy crafts that I can do whilst watching a series but stops me from picking up my phone to google absolutely everything. Shortly after my mc I did also take a few weeks off social media by just deletibg the apps off my phone and think this was really positive for me. Have also been looking into acupuncture for fertility so if this month isn't the one I think I'll start that when it is possible to.

The month I conceived I actually started seed cycling too, if this month doesn't work out I'll definitely start up again, thanks for the reminder!

@KJLM do you take Ubiquinol? I've been taking 400mg a day to try and improve egg quality. Appreciate this wasn't an issue with your still birth of course! Xx

@AMS19 I’m currently taking 400mg folic acid, vitamin d3, Vital DHA and 400mg of CoQ10. To be honest it’s a bit of concoction from advice online including on Luisa Zissman’s website from prenatals she used.
I’ll have a look into that though as I understand it’s a form of coq10 from having a quick google.

@KJLM yeah it's the active form of CoQ10. So more gets absorbed in your system x

Ladies, not long left on this thread. It's such an amazing support for us all. As last time I'll set up a new thread, tag you all in, and post a link here xx

New thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?watched=1

Hi ladies. Would appreciate anyone advice or experience p/s. Had a mc late jan at 11 weeks. Af came back around 4 weeks. I read and thought it would be heavier, longer etc. but mines was as it normally was before the mc. Had a few cramps and felt a bit tired and cold as I normally do. It wasnt heavy and also lasted for 5 days as normal. Is this normal or will i bleed again in a few days? I want to ttc and start testing after my first AF as advised from the EPU. Was my first period normal. Thanks in advance

Hi ladies, new to this and not sure how everyone is as I can see most posts are from January.
I too has a mc last year and my body hasn’t been quite right since. I used to be clockwork with my period but now since the miscarriage it’s all over the place and I have brown/red spotting for a good week before my period comes. Has anyone else experienced this?
Thanks xx

@Peggy90 hey hun my af as explained above was lighter than usual (still had to wear pad) and to God be the glory I got a bfp at 11 dpo. Is your af back to normal in terms of the days you flow and heavy or lightness. When waiting for my af to come I tried to stop stressing and had warm bath. Not to sure about brown spotting though sorry.

[quote Lizbb]@Peggy90 hey hun my af as explained above was lighter than usual (still had to wear pad) and to God be the glory I got a bfp at 11 dpo. Is your af back to normal in terms of the days you flow and heavy or lightness. When waiting for my af to come I tried to stop stressing and had warm bath. Not to sure about brown spotting though sorry.[/quote]
Thank you for getting back to me. Sorry for the gory details but I have brown/red spotting for 4/7 days till at starts this month it's been 12 days and I finally came on on Wednesday! My cycle days are getting longer which isn't a good sign but all my tests etc from the hospital came back normal regards to hormone levels etc. Just don't know what is going on.