First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

@SunStruck yay!!! Hopefully August is our BFP month!

@MrsMGE funny you should say that as I’m eating a Nutella bagel ..... 😂

@Kiki061190 YES, girl!!! 🙌 It's all about Nutella! Nutella buddies from now on 😘Enjoy your bagel 😁

Hi ladies,

Not sure if I'm with you on the AF front (first since MMC d&c procedure) but I hope so!! Woke up to some lower back pain and slight cramping and very light spotting. This is earlier than my normal period but I assume expected after MC after reading others on here. My temps are still really low and I don't believe FF that I ovulated at all this month. Had no EWCM at all and no obvious rise which I always have with ovulation. I am still having the faintest BFP but its slowly disappearing thank goodness. Can't wait to be on my first TTC cycle away from this nightmare!

Wishing us luck for the next cycle ladies! Looks like a few of us are aligned xxx

@BabyPending YES! Let’s see if August is our month! Fingers crossed 🤞

Came across this and made me laugh :)

😂 So true.

Just wanted to check how you are all doing ladies? Everyone OK?

Fingers crossed for a good week for all of us, hopefully positive thinking will dominate it ❤️

Night, night lovely ladies xxx

@MrsMGE all good thanks, I need to book my scan for this week to check if lining looks ok and the final products out with my period, but I'm still spotting a bit... it's been over a week now! I'm just worried it won't be and we have to go back to the drawing board (another d&c) 😡

How are you guys?

@Sunstruck Spotting may be hormonal though? Do you think it didnt fully come out? Mine came out 2 weeks after the MC after conception reflexology, the therapist said it "activates" your cervix. Boy, did it activate mine! But whatever makes you avoid going back is worth it. Exercise might help too I reckon? Without overdoing it obvs, you don't want to push yourself too hard now. Running helped me, definitely more stuff came out (sorry TMI). They should be giving us these tips at the EPAU!

Hope it comes out quickly, the not knowing if you need to go back isn't nice ❤️

Good morning ladies!

How was your weekends?

I treated myself to a new bag and spent some time with friends and family! On day 4 of AF, it’s been more heavier this time than last but can’t complain! Nutella bagels every morning 😂

I went for rum on Friday night, out out with my friend on craft beers on Saturday and cinema date with the hubby on Sunday. NO: cleaning, planning, organising of anything at all. What a delight 🙌😁

On a healthy bandwagon from today - back on my veg for lunch, reduced sugar, and am going back to some exercising. I feel more alive!

Saying that, also very bloated and feeling pre-periody, had Nutella on toast on Sat and some Wispa bites yesterday. Not jinxing it hopefully, but is it coming...?

@Kiki061190, already day 4, this is flying by! How are you feeling physically and mentally? You sound positive which is lovely to hear ❤️ Glad you had a nice weekend too 💐

Hopefully work won't be bad this week either! Xxx

Good Morning all, good luck for your scan @SunStruck

I had a terrible weekend, not sure if it’s PMS making me emotional. I was feeling a bit shit at my DD’s swimming lesson anyway since literally every other woman there is heavily pregnant when my friend messaged to say she was pregnant, she had an early MC at the same time as me so I’m happy for her but obviously it made me feel like crap. I then had to drive for 2.5 hrs and cried pretty much the whole way.

I feel like such a failed human, my body doesn’t work, I’m letting DH down, I’m letting DD down by being so consumed by this but equally by not giving her a sibling. I don’t contribute much to the world, I don’t have many close friends anymore, everyone I know had a perfect family with no problems so it’s such lonely place.

Still waiting for AF to appear after another failed chemical 10 days ago.

Sorry to have such a pity party but I haven’t felt so down for ages, it really surprised me.

@MrsMGE I know day 4! It’s been quick! I’m feeling really good actually. I’ve stopped temping and chatting ect and I’m just going with the flow.... I actually feel better with all this TTC business out of my mind!

Hopefully your AF comes ASAP!

Good morning ladies, I'm back. Feeling much better. It was so surprising to get so upset about my friend's baby. Guess it just made me hyper aware that we're still not pregnant again and holding our baby seems so far away. Now I feel like my cycle has improved so at least we might be able to try this cycle. Still no O confirmed but a big shift today so this could be it. I think lack of sleep really affected my mood too. Im feeling very refreshed now.

Ha ha, @BabyPending and so true. I feel like I would try anything at this point.

@SunStruck fingers crossed for a clear scan so you can get back to trying.

@Kiki061190 the nutella sounds heavenly. I hope AF clears up soon and I'm glad you treated yourself.

@MrsMGE with any luck this is AF coming. I really hope so!

@bananamonkey I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It could well be the hormones settling. Your body has been through so much. Also its just really upsetting when you're happy for other people but it highlights your own issues. I've been feeling that way too. It should give us hope when people are pregnant who suffered losses at a similar time but sometimes it feels like a big kick in the stomach. Especially when cycles are messed up. i would give anything to just ovulate like a normal women before cd 20 and get pregnant just like that.

You are not a failed human and you're not alone. Your body is clearly trying. Pregnancy loss can just take such a long time to recover from. Some people snap back to normal and others don't. I do hope you now get a referral to see if there's a particular reason because its horrible for you to keep going through this.

Sometimes a pity party is needed and I always start to feel better once I've had a massive meltdown. It's all part of the process. Just feel it, move through it and do anything you can think of to improve your mood.

My cycle is something triggers me (failed ovulation, other peoples pregnancies etc), I get down and feel paralysed by it, then I obsess over stress causing failed cycles, miscarriages, then I blame myself for getting down and making conceiving even less likely, then finally I see sense and start to make positive changes until the next trigger. It's a difficult cycle to break but I'm trying.

Anyway I hope you're feeling better soon and you can always vent on here! xx

Thanks @Kiki061190 😘

Thanks @Catconfusion as well - lovely to see you back & really glad you're feeling better ❤️ Ups and downs are a part of this journey. I'm on the up now too, and sharing all the love and positive vibes especially with those of us who are down now ❤️

@bananamonkey I'm sorry you're feeling like this, it's not nice at all. Been there last week myself. One thought that helped me was:

• I may have seen 5 or 10 pregnant ladies in one day which upset me.
• I have also walked past about 500 women, out of whom majority has either been through baby loss too, still has it ahead of them sadly, struggle to conceive or cannot conceive at all.

The lucky ones that have their "perfect families", especially with more than one child, are a minority. Even some of them have not been through a perfect journey, but they don't admit it.

And then all of a sudden, you are not alone. You are part of a big group that really understands.

People rarely have their pain written all over their faces and this makes it very easy to think you're in a lonely place. You really are not ❤️

@bananamonkey You aren’t a failed human! I’m so sorry you feel this way, I totally understand why you are feeling down. Sending lots of love ♥️

@Catconfusion hiiiiiii! Glad you’re feeling better ♥️

Morning All,

I'm still keeping up on the thread, and sorry that some of you are feeling a little glum. I am active on another board and a wonderful lady posted this statement and I thought I would share with you guys. It really helped me understand that statistics behind Mc and that my future isn't looking so bleak (on a statistical basis at least)...

Lets say 10,000 women all get pregnant on the same day . . .

1. 75% (7500) of those women will have full term pregnancy first time round - there are different stats at this point about stillbirth and trisomy defects but we'll use the term 'full term pregnancy'
2. 25% of those women will MC- this will be their first pregnancy and first MC, so 2500 women MC x 1. (Many experts think this number could actually be 50%, but the mother didn't know she was pregnant or simply didn't report it)
3. those 2500 women all get pregnant again, and this time 80% will have full term pregnancy, that's 2000, but 20% will MC for the second time, that's 500 women x 2 MC. Remember that's 500 from the original 10,000 that have x 2 MC's.
4. those 500 women all get pregnant again, and 495 will have full term pregnancy, but 1%, 5 women, will have MC number 3. That 5 women of 10,000 that become officially recurrent miscarriers.

Keep going ladies your time is coming...love and hugs to all xxx

Thanks Amanda ❤️ That's really good. Illustrates just how many of us go through the heartache... Let's now multiply all these numbers by 365 days of the year and then it shows the real scale of it.

I kind of think of you here as if you were my neighbours on the same street, it's our community sharing the same experience. And as good neighbours do, we help each other out. I hope every lady affected can find support like this ❤️ Team work makes the dream work ❤️

Doesn't it just @MrsMGE - i found the explanation really helpful and also made me understand why health professionals wait until the woman has suffered 3 MCs. I do wonder what GPs don't give you this information clearly and succinctly? Baffles me. The lady who shared this had unfortunately has 3MCs and was diagnosed with a condition. She is now almost due and is nearing 40 (or is 40). She sounds amazing. Team work certainly makes all of our dreams work 💖💖

@Amanda81 thanks for that statement! I love it! Gives me lots of positive vibes ♥️ How are you?

Also @MrsMGE I’m on the health kick too! I’ve put on a little weight from MC but hoping to trim it back off before I go on holiday in 7 weeks.

@bananamonkey I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I really hope you have happier news soon. You are NOT a failed human being. Never say that. You've just had a lot of bad luck and you are due some good luck soon. It's not your fault - it's NEVER any of our faults that this has happened to us. Please be kind to yourself and know that you will get there in the end. We all will. Thinking of you and sending you hugs Xxx.

@Catconfusion glad to see you back and hope you are feeling a bit better now after everything with your friend. You've been so brave with your cycle issues and it looks like O is around the corner for you now!

@Amanda81 thanks for recommending the other board, the ladies are lovely and have been through so much. I really miss everyone on here though, you guys were with me from the beginning of all this! I hope we can start another thread at some point in the future, when more of us have happy news to share together. I'm not brave enough yet, sorry, too afraid and still very much in the mc mindset rather than pregnancy. I'm waiting for you guys @bananamonkey @catconfusion @Kiki061190 and everyone else! I know you will get there soon. Routing for all of you Xxx.

I just received a letter for a scan in two weeks - when I should be around 7-8. Same place as where I heard the news last time :(. Feel sick just thinking about it. Anyway, going to try to keep the anxiety at bay as best i can. How are you doing @3204ECL?

@Kiki061190 where are you off to? You'll shed it before you go, I'm sure you will. Also a holiday is the best thing now, even if just for the weekend somewhere local.

We've booked a week off early next month and we're going away to a small place about 2 hours away, with no WiFi, close to nature, and taking the pets with us. A complete switch off. This deffo helps with TTC too, I conceived on the first night of our holiday last time, what a lucky shot, haha! 😂

@bananamonkey, how are you feeling? PMS has been a real bitch since the MMC so perhaps it was that?
@Catconfusion, glad to see you back. Hope you are doing ok?
@sadtoday21, its understandable that you feel that way. Come back and talk to us whenever you need to, we'll be supporting you all the way.

I had a pretty chilled weekend which was lovely and much needed. I'm on CD 15 and Natural cycles is predicting OV tomorrow. I have somehow completely missed my peak on the OPKs this month so hopefully that doesn't mean its not happening. Will watch and wait...

@MrsMGE we’re off to Italy for a week! Not until the beginning of September but I can’t wait ♥️ Defo I’m only looking for about 7lbs off so that’s pretty easy! Defo agree about needing a holiday.

@sadtoday21 so nice to hear from you! ♥️

@Kiki061190 Omg, my favourite place in the world! You'll have such a great time (not to mention all the pasta, pizza, gelato and espressos in between, heaven 😍🥰). The best motivation to get fitter before you go! I've been good today but for one Jammy Dodger (but only one, really!) 🙌 xxx

I'm good @Kiki061190 - I'm currently away in Cyprus for my DHs 40th Birthday. I am also another lover of all things Italian- we fell in love with Umbria and went there on our hols for four consecutive years, and linked it in with Rome - architectural delight! Where about in Italy are you going?