First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

Oh that's just typical @bananamonkey I take it you're too far away for DH to visit!

I hope you O in 48 hours time so you can try tomorrow night. Xx

@Amanda81 I'm so pleased to hear that everything went well with the scan and they're happy enough to discharge you. Roll on 12 weeks now when you can hopefully relax a little more. xx

I've scoured the internet for an alternative explanation for my chart but it really does look like Asherman's. I'm going to ring someone today as the stress and fear is awful but I suspect they will fob me off and say I have to wait and see what happens.

@AnnaMC214 + @bananamonkey thank you it went well.
@Amanda81 I found myself just scrolling to find your post congrats hun I'm so happy for you.

We'll work was fine, a few tears but nothing major so that's the first hurdle out of the way. Now to wait for first period (which is due tomorrow) after miscarriage let's see if I can get through the day at work ( I work 12 hour shifts) without issues or flashbacks. ( I miscarried in the carpark at work)

@Kiki061190 how u doing? Did u make it to the new thread? X

@sadtoday21 thanks so much for starting the thread again! I'm away with work so have only just had time to find it and read through! How are you?

@Amanda81 that's brilliant news I'm so pleased for you. How are you feeling now?

@Catconfusion great news on the hormone tests and fingers crossed for DH's SA today (finally!)

@Rainbow8bubbles well done on making it through your first day back. Hope you are feeling ok today xxx

I knew this would happen! @Catconfusion, annoyingly I’m in another country 🙈 I read on the CB forum that tomorrow night would still be in the peak window but who knows.

Just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you for the lovely messages yesterday that lifted me up on a bad day. Wishing everyone a good Wednesday x

Hi ladies! I’ve been travelling the past two days for my fiancé’s grans funeral. Was a lovely service!

My bleeding has finally stopped and I’m feeling back to my old self now which somehow makes me feel more at peace with everything. I’m just trying to work out when I’m going to ovulate so I can figure out when my first period is due! So used to a 28 day cycle but I’m assuming that may not be the case this time! Did any of yous track ovulation after a miscarriage? I’ve started to temp as well which has been interesting!

Hi @kiki061190 I starter tracking ovulation after miscarriage. We thought we'd wait until after first period to try again but I wanted to still track ovulation to know what my body was doing and if cycle was getting back on track. Before I miscarried I had very regular 28 day cycles with ovulation around days 14-16.

I am in my first cycle after miscarriage and have ovulated on day 24 (today actually). Interestingly I got my first negative pregnancy test at 11 days after miscarriage started and if I count this day as day 1 of cycle then the ovulation date kind of makes sense. Hope that makes sense.

I totally understand why you are keen to know and track, I am in the same boat. I just want knowledge to help me through this next stage! All the best to you and glad you are feeling better xxd

@Applecidervinegars this is so incredibly helpful! Your cycle sounds just like mines. I almost just want to know when I ovulate ect so I can feel normal again! I felt this past few months so out of touch with my own body.

Not going to lie ladies I may have went and bought myself a few new dresses ect just to feel good about myself again. Since the bleeding has now stopped as well in looking forward to DTD with my other half again!

How are we all keeping? Hopefully the next couple of months we’ve all seen our BFP!

It's so typical isn't it @bananamonkey It's like when I O'd on the day of DHs SA.

Speaking of which, we just got the results back and everything looks good. GP didn't give precise numbers but said he's very fertile. I'm pleased but I also know they don't look at the dna fragmentation so difficult to know if the quality is good. What we now know is they swim in the right direction, there are enough and they are shaped correctly. All bodes well for conceiving again. Xx

Thats great news @Catconfusion ! Pleased for you guys.

Ok quick question to the group, I know I am very new but you guys seem ace so let me know your thoughts:

So I am in my first cycle after miscarriage... Got my negative pregnancy test after 11 days after miscarriage and I feel fine and healthy and back on track. I wasn't expecting to ovulate this cycle but tracked it just out of curiosity. DH and I thought we would wait for period and then try next cycle. Now that home test is saying i am ovualting today, I really just want to go for it !!!

GP, sonographer and Internet seem to all say there is no need to wait and waiting for period is just advice given by medics to better date a new pregnancy. But I had heard there was slight increased risk of MC If pregnant on first cycle after MC (though this seems anecdotal and without proper data to back it up). My other slight concern is that I know I had a small clot (like 2cm) left in uterus from miscarriage. The medical weren't worried about it and said as long as I had my neg pregnancy test and felt fine then that was all that mattered

Thoughts? Do I go for it this month or wait ? I am so impatient.

Apologies if one of you have a story similar to this and I have just jumped in not knowing everyone's backgrounds...

Thanks in advance !

Thanks @Applecidervinegars

I would say as a natural miscarriage you're less likely to have another miscarriage straight away but of course it's still possible. Several of the ladies on here had chemical pregnancies straight after ERPC surgery including me. Having two back to back miscarriages did really mess my next cycle up and my hormones were all over the place. I wish I'd waited because it was a big setback.

Personally I'd wait because it's easy to underestimate how much more healing you need to do. I too thought I was ok but have had a lot of cramping and pain since.

It is a personal choice so go what feels right for you. Xx

@Applecidervinegars I asked the midwife about this and she says if you feel ready then go for it. I had a medically managed miscarriage so I did pass everything out as opposed to surgery. I think everyone’s experiences are unique and if you feel ready emotionally then there is no reason why you shouldn’t ☺️

@Catconfusion amazing that everything has came back positive! Your BFP will be coming very soon!

Afternoon you lovely lot xx

I wouldn't consider yourself out @LMLP91 - in the first few weeks of this pregnancy I got AF type cramps and felt nauseous...thank you for the side line cheerleader support 📣 xx

Hey @bananamonkey you can O up to 48 hours after having your LH surge...so get on it tomorrow night just in case the window is still open xx

Did you get anywhere with the calling GP @AnnaMC214? Xx

Pleased to hear work went as well as expected @Rainbow8bubbles. I found getting myself back into the swing of things are real help and boost to confidence xx

Looking forward to hearing your update @3204ECL once you have returned from work and settled xx

Hey @Kiki061190. I tracked mine. I have a 28 day cycle and my bleeding stopped a week after surgery. My cycle seemed to start the day after bleeding as it was 35 days from surgery when I got my first AF. Hope this helps. It's amazing how the body can snap back in to line, but it can also take some time, so do be patient and don't jump to any conclusions should it not return quickly xx

Great news @Catconfusion. They say good news comes in threes, your BFP will be next xx

Hi @Applecidervinegars - I didn't wait after my erpc. But didn't catch straight away. I had two AF's before getting pregnant again, which unfortunately led to an early MC at 5+4 weeks, passed naturally. I caught straight away with this pregnancy and all appears to be progressing well. It really is the luck of the draw. Some people say the lining is richer after a natural MC. It's all a personal choice and only you will know when you feel ready. I was desperate to try again after the first, and wasn't trying to catch after the second MC xx

@Amanda81 I remembered you saying that you had AF-type cramps, but I duno...just don't feel anywhere near how I did the first time I was pregnant (such sore boobs and much stronger nausea and tiredness) so don't want to allow myself to feel anything other than a person waiting for their period. I guess I'm trying to protect myself, although I would be totally over the moon if it was to be something else 🌈💫 thank you for reassuring me, I'm secretly so hoping you're right!

How have you been feeling lovely? Xxx

With my first pregnancy I started off with the needing to pee and the sore boobs quickly followed. This time round I don't feel the pee that often, and my boobs didn't get sore until 2 weeks ago (so 6+). So every pregnancy is different with the symptoms. I really hope it is a BFP for you. When is AF due?

I am doing okay, I'm super exhausted today primarily because I've actually done a days work! I've been doing 5 hour days recently and doing a full day with a client has knocked me for six. Apparently I am snoring like a trooper aswell 😂😂😂 I've just made up the spare bed just incase I feel too bad for keeping DH awake (which happened last night). Oddly I sleep straight through it 😂😂😂. Xx

Ahh @Amanda81 I'm having to fight the urge so hard not to get my hopes up! So all three apps which I'm inputting my temps into (fermometer, FF and Flo) are all saying slightly different dates - but it's varying between 7-10 days from now. So it makes sense that I would be having cramps in the lead up to it. Just going to play the waiting game, and if AF is a no-show, I'll go from there. Thank you for your reassurance, it means a lot.

I'm not surprised you're feeling so tired! Make sure you're resting and relaxing this evening. I bet DH doesn't mind the snoring, all part of your charm! 🙊 xxx

Glad you're well @Amanda81 and I remember you mentioning the 'pregnancy bed'. I found work impossible when I was pregnant so it's really good you're managing it despite fatigue. So good to keep busy. Xx

Best of luck @LMLP91 I hope you get a positive result. Fingers crossed! Xx

How are the rest of you getting on today?

So I'm cd 14 and still on flashing smileys. My chart has shown a little spike up today so not sure if that's a sign something is happening. Probably not as I haven't got a peak yet. I do have a cold at the moment so could be that or a little hormone fluctuation. We celebrated our healthy test results with some baby dancing last night so all in all feeling positive today! Xx

Wow! So many wonderful posts from you ladies - just catching up on it this morning as had a busy day at work yesterday.

@3204ECL thanks for asking after me! I am doing ok - how about you? How is the waiting going?

@bananamonkey how is your TWW going? Hope the work trip is going well and a good distraction!

@LMLP91 I really hope you get your BFP this cycle! It's so exciting and nerve-wracking to be in the TWW, isn't it?

@AnnaMC214 how are you doing today? Thinking of you xxx.

@Rainbow8bubbles I'm so glad your first day back at work went smoothly - it's hard, but it will get easier in time! You are so strong and brave to get through it. Well done!

@Applecidervinegars It's definitely a personal choice on when to start ttc again and not an easy one. Like other ladies on here, I had an early mc the cycle right after my mmc. I think it's because I didn't wait for one AF, but everyone is different. As @Catconfusion said, this messed up my cycle further and I think I would have waited if I had known that was the case (even though all the GPs said it was ok!). I also ended up learning that the mmc was a partial molar five weeks after the surgery, so if I had conceived again so soon after it would have been dangerous for my health and for the new baby. I wrote about timing a new pregnancy here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/trying-to-conceive-again. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!

@Catconfusion congrats on your flashy smileys!! I am so happy for you that all the tests came back positive and that you are doing so well. I have a really good feeling about this month for you.

I am on cd13 and I just got my first flashy smiley today!!! SO happy! Out of curiosity, how many flashy smileys do you ladies usually have before you the peak one? I haven't used the flashing ones before and I'm not sure what to expect - four days? Do I need to bd tonight and every night from now until the peak one? Does it matter if it is morning or evening bding?

And another really inspiring post from @Rainbow8bubbles today on her natural mc after going through chemo with DH. Such incredible strength and it gives us all the courage to keep going on! You can read and comment on it here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/natural-miscarriage.

Also, thanks to @Rainbow8bubbles for pointing out that the blog posting form wasn't working smoothly - now it is up and running again and you can post on anything here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/blog-with-us.html

@Catconfusion also meant to ask you now that it's a new cycle after the early mc - is your chart still weird or more settled now? I'm still having huge temp fluctuations but seem to be gearing up for O a lot earlier than last time nonetheless. I also don't have as much EWCM this time around, wondering if that should be cause for concern? I am drinking a lot of grapefruit juice, water, and taking the epo to try to build it up more. I'm just so anxious to catch this time around!

Also, now that it seems to be approaching O week for me (hopefully), I am thinking about how to time bding well. I was going to play it low key and take the pressure off DH by not telling him it is O week (and just seducing him haha), but then that puts a lot of pressure on me to be sure that we get it in a lot even if one of us is tired or stressed with work. I don't like how the tracking thing is "my project" (that's what it feels like sometimes), when this really needs to be a joint effort here. So anyway, I get the flashy smiley this morning and I told him that its flashy smiley time - so he is forewarned! He wasn't super excited about it - should I be upset about this or is it normal when ttc? I really want to avoid a fight, but feel a bit hurt that he's not as into this ttc process as I am. Thoughts?

Hey @sadtoday21 congrats on your flashing smiley and thanks for the well wishes. I guess it just depends how long it takes for the LH surge to come. I'm on my third day now of flashing ones. We're going to dtd every other day until confirmation I think, maybe an extra one when I get a static. There's always the chance of another really long cycle for me. I think we'll play it by ear as it was really stressful last time. I've read that some ladies (not many) don't catch a static on these so I'm taking it with a pinch of salt. I wouldn't want to rely on it altogether and miss our chance. I'm temping too and it's looking good so far so we'll see! I hope you catch too! Xx

Thanks for asking @sadtoday21 congratulations on your flashing smiley! Although after 7 days I was sick of its silly smug face waiting for it to turn static 🤣

Got my static yesterday so I guess O will happen today/tomorrow?! Because of my trip I think it’s messed up the timing this month so don’t think I have a chance unless sperm can really last 5 days or tonight will not be too late!

@sadtoday21 I'm not doing very good still. The earliest appointment I can get with my doctor is over 3 weeks from now. I pray that I'm proved wrong but I feel like I know ultimately it will be bad news. The fear is like a constant, all consuming, white hot burning feeling and I don't know what to do.

I also think I'm going to have to make the hard decision to leave the thread. I think you're all amazing and I will always be forever grateful for the kindness and support you've shown me over the last couple of months. I wish you all every happiness in the future with your rainbow babies but it's just too hard to hear about everyone moving on without me. I'd like to believe I'll be back soon but realistically I think I have a long and lonely road ahead. ❤️ xx

Oh @AnnaMC214 I am really really sorry to hear that and I understand completely about you wanting to take space away from the group. I also find it hard sometimes to read about people who are pregnant again, so I can understand why you wouldn't want to read about others who are ttc when you feel so stuck in this terrible place. Just know that we are all here to support you whenever you feel ready or need someone to listen.

I find it really shocking that the GP is fobbing you off for so long. If it were me, I would demand an earlier appointment. My GP always saw me right away after the mmc whenever I complained of issues. You can also go to the EPU maybe with these concerns or do some testing yourself.

I don't think you have a long and lonely road ahead of you, I really don't. MC is very isolating, but just know that we have all been down this road and, while the waiting feels interminable, it will end. I thought my world was over when I learned of the partial molar and that I would have to wait months before ttc again, but it all worked out in the end. I know it will for you too, no matter what is going on. Wishing you all the best and hoping you will be back soon with good news for us! Sending hugs xxx