First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

@bananamonkey wonderful news! Got everything crossed for you xxx

@Amanda81 yes using the clear blue advanced digital opk since Saturday! I only had one day of really stretchy EWCM and that was Sunday night which I guess is in line with the chart! I never usually get days if discharge it’s usually short and sweet so maybe my surge was Sunday who knows!

Amazing news @bananamonkey - yey!!! Congratulations xxx

Congrats @bananamonkey! Wishing you all the best for a healthy and happy pregnancy!! Xxx

Wow, all this news of new pregnancies is great - it really is turning out to be a lucky thread! Can't help but feel left behind though, I am starting to wonder if it will ever happen for me...this whole process just feels like too much sometimes.

Thank you all, thought it was physically impossible given I missed most of the window! Can’t take anything for granted though, seeing the lines disappear with the chemical pregnancy was just horrible

I’ve felt that way so much the last few months @Sadtoday21, it’s just such a shitty process x x x

Thanks @bananamonkey I am really very happy for you! I know it's hard to just enjoy it, especially with the chemical, but there's no reason to think that will happen again. Just try to relax as much as possible and test in a week or so. Have you told DH yet? Xxx

I think I'm just a bit down lately because of the stress from work and probably some pms starting up now. I had a good cry earlier and then tried to just carry on with work. Feeling exhausted in every possible way. I had a large glob of EWCM today (13 dpo) - is that normal? I think it's a sign that AF is around the corner, but I haven't seen this before.

How's everyone else doing? Sending hugs!

@sadtoday21 it’s completely understandable how you are feeling! Sometimes you just need a good cry to get the frustration out! Fingers crossed for AF soon and then you can get into next cycle! This’ll be your one! 💗

Another rise today in temp. Not sure if that’s a good thing. Still a flashy on day 8 of cb advanced monitor. Going to make tomorrow my last day of taking O tests because tbh it’s just a little exhausting! I thought it would help me get an idea of when AF is coming but it takes over a little bit! I’ll start again next cycle.

Weirdest thing! The past two days I’ve had wet underwear from CM which has just a runny and milky consistency. Headscratcher!

Happy Saturday to you all!

I'm sorry you're feeling down @sadtoday21 and I completely understand you're feeling disappointed coupled with the work stress. It's just rubbish it didn't happen for you this time but I have a good feeling about next time.

I too had an off day yesterday. I've been getting on with work but can't help feel sad as the due date in August approaches. This just isn't how I thought I'd spend my summer.

Yesterday I met up with my friend who has a one year old and is having her second baby in a month. I could tell she was uncomfortable being pretty big but was trying not to complain knowing what I've been through. She's not even having a baby shower because four of her closest friends including me have been through miscarriages in the last 5 months. I felt really sad about that. Also sad that I'm not spending the summer pregnant with my best friend.

At one point she left me alone with her little boy while she went to the toilet and some people thought he was mine. It really upset me. I had to hold back the tears. With my body failing me again this week it's all been a bit much.

I've decided to continue with Ovusense but stop looking at the temperatures in the morning. It just puts me in a mood for the day sometimes. I'm seeing the doctor on Wednesday so I'll look at my chart before the appointment. It felt good to upload the data and close the app. I guess some things only have as much power as we give them.

We're at a 40th birthday party and staying away in a hotel tonight. I'm nervous as I still find social things hard. Also one of my husbands friends is expecting a baby the week before our due date and she'll be there. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

Last night we started planning a joint 40th party for ourselves at the end of July. I can't believe that's how old I am and it's definitely making this process harder. I'm just trying not to think about how it'll feel if I'm not pregnant by then. Xx

@Kiki061190 your chart looks really good. I'd say you definitely ovulated. It shouldn't be too long for AF now. Xx

@catconfusion I hope you’re ok! It’s hard when people around you are having children. My due date was December 11th and I keep thinking I should be 14 weeks by now.

It’s good you’re getting away for the night and hopefully that’ll keep your mind elsewhere. I’ve started to find the morning tests a bit exhausting already!

Your friend is so sweet thinking of her friends losses. It shows how common miscarriage is and I have no idea why there is such a hush hush nature about women talking about it at times.

@Kiki061190 thanks! Your chart is looking really good. I just realised you are ttc again, right? It's possible that the creamy, milky CM is an early sign of pregnancy (not EWCM, which is usually sign of O and AF). You have a nice rise, so could be the case!

@Catconfusion I really related to your post. It's so hard to be around pregnant people and others who don't understand in social settings. It's nice your friend is so understanding though. Ah, we share that terrible August due date. I am dreading it. I thought we would be more fertile after the mmc and was clinging on to the hope I'd be pregnant again in just 1-3 months after. Not the case. I can't believe how many useless months have gone by and how many years it can take ttc. It's so heartbreaking. Good luck with the GP appt!

My temps have dropped to the coverline, so I am officially expecting AF today or tomorrow. My cycles have definitely regulated back to 29-31 days. This is terrible, ironically, because it also means DH will definitely be out of the country during my entire fertile window next month. There's not going to be any chance of ttc. I tried to explain it to him and beg him to come back early, but he doesn't get it. Just feels like a double loss now because I can't try again until July. It looks like I won't be pregnant by my due date in August either :(.

I'm ok thanks @Kiki061190 It's those dates isn't it that makes it harder. I should be 7 months now and my friend is 8 months so it's hard hearing about her plans for the birth.

I do feel bad for her as she's not really felt like she's got anyone to celebrate her pregnancy with. One friend had a mmc found on the 12 week scan. She'd been trying for three years. The other two were early losses. My second miscarriage happened the same night as one of her friends so we were both in the hospital at the same time texting her. She's been a great source of support and had three losses herself a couple of years back but I'm mindful it's been tough being pregnant with loss all around her.

It will be lovely to be away. I'm hoping not too awkward with the pregnant lady. I'm fine with my close friend but it's harder with people I don't know so well.

I would stop with the CB tests as it's likely you missed the peak. It might have happened in an afternoon. You've ovulated now so LH is low again. Xx

@sadtoday21 I figured O hadn’t happened and I would just avoid the couple of days when I got a peak on an opk which hasn’t happened on the advanced or the strips! I’m a bit freaked out now because we weren’t trying we usually dtd about 4x a week. I don’t think my body quite knows where it’s at but crossing my fingers for AF in a couple of weeks!

Completely understand what you’re saying regarding your situation! It’s hard because men sometimes can’t understand the situation bless them. August is a big month for you and @catconfusion and it’s completely understandable to want to be seeing that BFP by the time that point comes. I’m the same with my December due date. It’s so tricky with your OH working away!

I'm so sorry @sadtoday21 Someone, I'm not sure if it was on this thread or elsewhere said their midwife thought ladies often conceive quickly once the due date of their miscarried baby is out the way. It's almost like they let go of that pregnancy once and for all. It could be August is your month. I'm hoping it's mine too as this cycle is very unpredictable.

I'm trying to be positive and treat time until we can try again as preparation for my new pregnancy. I'm clearing the spare room and making room in my life for a new baby. It feels good today but I know I'll feel rubbish probably tomorrow. My mood seems to alternate: one day I feel good and the next I feel rubbish. I'm going to mention this to the doctor as it's pretty annoying. Xx

@catconfusion I understand what you’re saying about your spare room. When we found out we were pregnant my sister in law was moving into her flat and she had limited furniture. We gave her the whole bedrooom set from one of our guest rooms as we figured that would the nursery and now it’s sitting pretty empty with just a bed, mirror and chair in it! I’ve left it that way tho as I don’t see the point in changing anything. Fingers crossed we’re prepping those rooms soon x

@Kiki061190 I think it's good your spare room is clear. Ours became a dumping ground as we'd just moved in when I found out I was pregnant. I've cleared all that now. DH bought me a nursing chair so that's in there along with all our favourite children's books. I wouldn't go as far as getting a cot or changing station etc but the energy flows nicely through the space which feels positive to me. Xx

@catconfusion you’re definitely right about the room. It’s feels ready for when we may need to change it. We have another bedroom for guests so there’s not been any need for me to put any more furniture in there.

Do you guys know how I might delay ovulation by a few days, so that I have a shot at ttc when DH gets back from his work trip next month? Strange question I know, since I usually want the opposite! I read that ibuprofen and NSAIDS can delay O, but obviously I don't want to take anything that would prevent it entirely or otherwise harm our chances. Any thoughts?

Hey @sadtoday21 - I have heard that a complex B vitamin can delay O. Do some research on it. I thought it had for me, but in the end it hadn't. Are you sure you want to be messing around with your cycle though? It may cause more stress in the long run. XX

@sadtoday21 I’ve never heard of anything to delay O, fingers crossed you work something out tho!

The spare room is a funny one, in January we moved dd to the bigger room so ever since we’ve had a decorated and furnished nursery just sitting there, only being used to dry laundry. I kept thinking I should do something with it to put my desk in there or sleep guests but it’d require dismantling of the furniture so I cba/couldn’t face it. Only realised last weekend that it might be weird to have it all set up for no reason when my Mum had to sleep in the living room

@bananamonkey congratulations! So nice to see good news.

I have been reading the thread as often as possible but just haven't been posting. I haven't forgotten about you all though.

I was on a residential course all week and have endured so much chat about everyone's children. How great they are, the activities they do together etc. When asked if I have children, my only response was, 'no - I have a dog. I love her so much!' It makes me feel like a right idiot but I just don't know what to say!
Esp as I was convinced this was my month and then AF started on Tuesday. I'm down to 21 day cycles now......

I do love my dog though. She is the best.

@zoomies1 sorry to hear about AF, mine is approaching too :(. I also thought it was my month! I guess we always do, don't we? It's hard with father's day approaching too, I was really hoping to surprise DH...but not to be I guess.

@Amanda81 thanks for the tip on b-vitamin complex, I do take that from time to time anyway. I also read apple cider vinegar can help delay AF, which I guess might also be good as that would delay O too?I am just hoping AF holds off as long as possible. You are probably right that I shouldn't mess with the cycles and just let nature take its course. I just really want a shot at ttc next month. How are you holding up? Any ms yet? I can't believe you are almost done with the first trimester already! Xxx

You never know @sadtoday21 next cycle might just work out for you. Hoping that is does. I'm entering the stage of the last few weeks of the first trimester, and tbh I'm as nervous as I have ever been. It was round about now that my symptoms started to fade with my first loss, and low and behold they are starting to fade again. I know it doesn't mean anything, as it really can go either way. I'm preaching everyday 'the odds are in my favour'. I'm 11 weeks today! I have a night out tonight at the horse racing, followed by seeing madness (the group), so that should see me occupied. The next scan is on Monday with the harmony test so that's the next hurdle. Deep breaths. I really hope AF holds off for you for as long as possible so that you get the fertile window during the dates whilst DH is at home xx

Wow 11 weeks already @Amanda81, I know it won’t feel like it but that seems to have gone so fast!

Well I have spotting now so guess that’s the end of that already! FFS, this is ridiculous.