First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

I'm so sorry @sadtoday21 this process is really unfair. Like you've said just do what you have to do to get through the next week. Good luck with the deadline. Hopefully O will be late next time so you have a chance. Xx

@3204ECL I took a digital today and I got a negative but not sure if they are as sensitive as the digital!

Going to keep testing with the clear blue until the end of the week and if I get to day 9 of flashies I’ll just wait until I get AF!

@catconfusion you’re so right about maintaining BDing through such a long potential ovulation period! I don’t know how you’re managing! What a strong woman you are 💗

No idea regarding O but I’ve only been doing the CB in the morning and none of the strips in a week. Took a strip last night just to test and there wasn’t even a hint of a second line but there had been a faint one last week when I was testing. Completely confused. Will just monitor my temp and keep testing with the CB until the end of the week.

@Catconfusion I'm doing ok thanks. Managed to move my doctors appointment to today as I cancelled my work trip and I've just got back. I got really upset but the doctor was absolutely lovely. They can't offer me an early scan in my area as I've only had 1 MC but she agreed with our plans to have some privately. I feel like a bit of a weight has lifted, clearly needed a good sob! Fingers crossed for O this week, it's great that you're feeling mentally stronger this time.

@sadtoday21 we're planning to have a scan at 7 weeks and then we'll make a plan from there. I'm still feeling anxious which I imagine will continue for the next 2 and a half weeks. Your question about getting back to normal after the 3 different management options is really interesting and one I've thought about a few times myself. There doesn't seem to be much information about it online but from my personal experience of waiting for a natural MC it took a long time to miscarry after the baby had stopped growing and then a long time to get my first AF (seemingly longer than some of the ladies who'd had a D&C) which at the time felt a bit like wasting time. However my cycles after the first AF seem to have bounced back to normal very quickly. I guess it's hard to know how your body would react to the other types of management but it does appear there might be some differences

@Kiki061190 I was advised by my EPU that I only needed a negative on a cheap strip test and you may not get a negative on some of the more sensitive tests until after your first AF. Hoping your get your BFN and your AF soon

xxx

@3204ECL you sound ok with not having an early scan on the nhs and going private which is fair enough but I think I'd be really upset by this. It was one mc but it was a mmc which leads to a lot more anxiety during the next pregnancy. It just seems unfair you have to pay. My EPU told me I can have a scan at 7 weeks next time. I guess it could be geographical but just seems very harsh to me. I don't like them saying it was only one mc either as one is enough to cause a lot of distress as was clearly visible at the appointment. When will you see the midwife? I'd maybe ask at booking in if they can refer you for one. It's a mental health issue as much as a physical one. Xx

Arrrh thanks @Kiki061190 I guess we don't have much choice in the matter at the moment. I so wish we did. I love my DH but it's exhausting. At first you try and make it fun but that soon wears off. I'm just trying to be strong for the coming week! Xx

@sadtoday21 I found the medically managed miscarriage quite a good method. I think just the confusion about when your body will return to normal is the worst thing because you almost don’t feel yourself!

Glad your Doctors appointment went well @3204ECL a shame you can’t have an early scan on the NHS but 7 weeks seems like a good time point. The consultant said I may be offered an early scan next time but sounds like it might be dependent on who you see.

In terms of recovery times I’m not sure, I’m not sure natural miscarriage would have been great for me since it’d already been 4 weeks when the MMC was discovered so goodness knows when it might have happened. After the op O was about 4 weeks later and first AF 6 weeks later so i was pretty happy with that. In terms of actual recovery itself other than tiredness it was fine.

I haven’t actually been able to resist doing a couple of tests! @sadtoday21, all BFN as expected. Although I tried a Poundland pink dye test this afternoon and am driving myself crazy thinking there’s a faint line on it, thinking I’m seeing things though!

That's interesting @bananamonkey as you're in the same area as me. I called the midwife to arrange booking in when I had the chemical pregnancy. She said they'd arrange an early scan due to my history. The gp said I'd get an early scan too. I personally think it's pretty bad not to be offered one and put someone through that level of anxiety when they're pregnant after loss. @Amanda81 I know the blood tests and scans you've had had been really helpful.

Sorry to hear about your bfn @bananamonkey but tentatively interested to see how the Poundland one plays out. Will you test tomorrow? Xx

Yes will test again tomorrow, have been using cheapy dipsticks as I have a load and thought I saw a faint line so bought some pink ones too as I’d heard they were good, they were only a pound (obviously) so bought 3 😂

In my case you have to call the GP surgery to book on to the MW clinic which runs once a week and they don’t want to see you till 8 weeks so would have to get through the receptionist first to ask about an early scan I think.

Oh well who could blame you at that price @bananamonkey. I've never tried those before but handy to have.

That's a really different system to where I am. It's a self referral to the midwife and they fit you in when you want. Just before my chemical pregnancy they said they'd see me at 6 weeks and take it from there. The time before I was 7 weeks I think.

The EPU also said we'd get an early scan so I'd push for it when the time comes @bananamonkey also an earlier midwife appointment based on your circumstances.

Sorry to rant but I just feel there is more than enough reason for early scans and appointments to be offered after mmc. Good mental health is important for a good outcome so we need reassurance to calm the anxiety of it all. Xx

To be fair I’ve only had good experiences with this surgery so they would possibly be accommodating but I would maybe have to push it. The MW I saw there in January was brilliant.

Another rise this morning ladies....

Still a flashing smiley on the CB opk. That’s day 7 so I’ll test for the weekend and if nothing I’ll just leave it until next cycle.

What do yous think of the chart?

@catconfusion how are you today? I was thinking of you last night! My friend has been diagnosed with pcos and she is having a tough time with it. She isn’t ovulating but having all the cramping of a period! She hasn’t had a period in 7 years! I know you don’t have pcos but it made me think about your ovulation and how frustrating it must be. Your strong to hold it together like you do 💗 my friend would love children and she would be an absolutely amazing mum. She has 2 stepdaughters but her partner and her would like a child between them. I always wonder why life throws these obstacles at us...

@Kiki061190 that certainly looks like O to me. Are you using the CB advanced OPK's? Perhaps your Oestrogen is a little out of whack after the MC which is skewing the readings on the monitor. Just a thought, but probably completely wrong. Do you know how long your Luteal Phase is?

I get quite mad at the system sometimes @Catconfusion. I truly get that the NHS is strapped for resources, but other countries offer all women scans before the 12 week mark, purely to demonstrate viability. I've had some interesting conversations with Midwife's and sonographers over the last few weeks which have all asked did we have scans with our first? They have all indicated that perhaps it wasn't progressing well and the signs where there. I also don't like that the trusts all appear to have different guidelines. I was very lucky to see the midwife that I did as she had been in a similar situation with losses. However, it was odd at the hospital when I had my second blood test drawn, as it felt like it was being done under the radar. So I do think they where acting against the guidelines. I will be forever grateful for the humanity they demonstrated in their care as it got me in to the system, and it was the sonographer who requested the second scan at the NHS. The third and fourth scan have been done private.

In terms of getting a scan privately @3204ECL, just be mindful that not all private clinics do TV scans and they may not be able to see much on a TA scan at 7 weeks. This may cause more distress and the need to go back in a week or so. However, tbh when I had my 6+ week scan she went TA first and we could see the feral pole, but she had to go TV to detect the heartbeat. Apparently the heartbeat should be detectable at 6+3. How are you feeling @3204ECL?

In terms of recovery times @sadtoday21, I have found that both the surgical and natural MC to have not really messed with my cycles. Admittedly the natural MC was only after a 5+5 week loss (so was like a very heavy period). How are you feeling now @sadtoday21

Any more lines @bananamonkey?

Thank 🤬 it's Friday girls! Hugs to all xxx

@Amanda81 I'm feeling ok thanks just trying to stay as relaxed as possible. I worked from home yesterday and today which has helped! I've now got a lovely strong line on a hpt which feels reassuring. I'll go to the private clinic we went to last time who scanned both ways. They were lovely there and very supportive when we discovered the MMC.

Whilst I know it's frustrating not to be able to get the scans on the NHS I don't want to cause myself the additional stress of arguing over it with the GP who was really kind to me yesterday. Our booking in with the hospital is a self referral online and I didn't see a midwife until 8 weeks last time so that would be later than we'd like the first scan anyway. In fact last time the baby had already stopped growing before we had our booking in appointment we just weren't aware. It does seem to be very different in different parts of the country and clearly where I am resources are stretched very thinly. We struggled to even get a scan when I had bleeding last time so a bit of me would rather take myself off privately than take an appointment that could otherwise go to another lady in the terrible situation we found ourselves in last time.

@bananamonkey i was the same, had loads of the cheapies as they seem to give you then free every time you order tests from amazon! Also got a faint line so rushed off to Tesco for some digitalis! Fingers crossed for your tests this morning.

@Kiki061190 that does seem like a good rise! I have heard of people who have missed peak on CB sticks as you wait 24 hrs between testing. Hope that was O for you and it means AF is round the corner.

Happy Friday ladies, hope you are doing ok. Nearly the weekend! xxx

Thanks @Kiki061190 I really appreciate you acknowledging how hard it is with irregular cycles. Your poor friends situation sounds horrible. I really hope she gets some support with inducing ovulation.

I'm seeing the doctor next week and I'm not hopeful I'll get help as I'm ovulating albeit very unpredictably. We also got pregnant very easily first time we tried. It is however 8 months on now since we ditched contraception and I turn 40 in a few weeks. Also our number of chances are halved due to my long cycles so it feels like the clock is ticking.

The advice seems to be see your doctor if over 35 and over 6 months trying so technically I should get a referral. There is no known reason for my cycles being the way they are. It probably is a very mild form of pcos that doesn't show on tests. It's definitely worse post mmc. Taking my age into consideration I hope they just refer me. It's likely to be a wait but will give me a bit more hope knowing we can get some help.

Anyway bad news today. My temperature has bombed. I feel like giving up but in reality we are probably very close to ovulation. Judging by my last cycle it's probably less than a week away. It's like stumbling with exhaustion when you can see the finish line (I hope). I'm getting quite painful ovary pain too so really worried about cysts from the failed ovulation. Anyway hopefully not too long now! Xx

@Catconfusion so sorry you've had another drop. O pains sounds positive, really hope you get confirmation soon as it must be so difficult. Hope it goes ok with the doctor and you get the referral. xxx

I completely agree @Amanda81 the psychological trauma of mmc could be lessened with an earlier scan as most other countries do. In this country we treat all pregnancies as viable until 12 weeks which is heartbreaking for mums who don't have any signs it's not progressing. I honestly feel like I could have dealt with my situation better had I known earlier. I had hypermesis so that's a whole month of being the sickest I've been in my life I could have avoided. Being ill for that long had huge financial and psychological implications. I also think I'd have been more inclined to go for medical management had I found out earlier which would have saved the nhs money in the long run as I wouldn't have needed surgery. Treatment should be consistent too throughout the country. We all pay into the system. Xx

Thanks @3204ECL but unfortunately I've had ovulation pain for the past week and it looks like a failed attempt from my chart so the pain is likely to be a cyst forming as that follicle didn't pop through.

When I hopefully ovulate next week it'll be a different follicle and I just worry about the quality when it gets to the third attempt this cycle. I'm just not sure my chances are good with cycles like this. The cycle I got pregnant on was day 24 and there were no failed ones. Still a mmc though so I guess the quality wasn't good anyway.

I got a completely negative Opk yesterday so I'm pretty sure I'm back to the start again so hopefully O will be here soon so I can get on with the 17 days of my luteal phase. Xx

Good morning all, Happy Friday, almost the weekend!

I think it turns out I’m not crazy...

Yay!!!! @bananamonkey I did wonder. You must have been just in time. Such good news for you. I really hope this one sticks. How many dpo are you? Xx

Only 15 dpo so still early to test really, feel like the chemical pregnancy experience has really messed with my head

@bananamonkey sounds like a good time to test to me. I can understand, maybe give it a few days and test again. I've got my fingers crossed for you! Xx

@bananamonkey congratulations!!!! Sending love and good vibes your way 💗💗💗