Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 28 - Tests, Treatments, Trying again, Trying to stay sane and most of all TREMENDOUS support!

[Kazz2112]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2416801-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-27-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again?

Ahh. Glad you all had a nice meet up.

I hope work will be ok on Monday mrsb, I have found, like you describe, that I'm ok until someone is nice to me. Glad that people know so there won't be too much explaining. Just take it a hour at a time. X

Fab afternoon with the lovely bucks ladies - brummie, just, onestep and thorne and gorgeous little scott! So lovely to be able to put faces to the names. x

MrsB that's great! Let's organise a southern meet up! Would have the be a Saturday probably and we are away from end Aug to mid sept. How about October time? Will pm you.
Girlie day and bit of you time is great to help you feel bit better. Work will be fine don't worry, I went back few weeks ago and was hard initially and then my colleague hugged me and that was it I was a mess. But once you've done that first day it will be easier. Totally understandable being upset over room change, you were planning it one way and now it's not. But it will be one day, x

Glad all you ladies had a good meet up today!

Onestep where are you based?

Lovely lunch ladies! Great to meet you all and have a good natter looking forward to the next. Must have been good - am off to bed already, can't keep my eyes open now!

flen wish the spotting would just bugger off for you. Still have fingers and toes crossed for you. I'm sure all will be well but totally appreciate how scary it must be at the time.

I'm live in Aylesbury. Grew up in Potters Bar/St Albans. Have worked over in Witham, Harlow, Bishops Stortford, Hertford, so close to Essex Herts border. Just come in from a walk around the lake telling my DH all about my afternoon with a fab bunch of ladies. Here's a sunset pic for you!

Welcome brumiemum**

March** i can just imagine, your heart must have lept into your mouth. Bet you've only just exhaled lovely xxxxxx

Barking** how's your 2ww going?

Lucky ladies meeting up! I'd also be happy to travel a distance - march, could Edinbro' be done in a day from leeds?!

Just met with my friend who has my september due date. She's writing her birthplan this week (!) I really had to control myself from laughing out-right, mainly because my 2 sides of A4 went out the window after my 5 days of back to back labour. She also said the thing she's sure of is that she doesn't want an epidural...i just said, probably best to keep all your options open. The minutia the innocent obsess over. My future 'birth plan' will read, if i ever get the chance to have one: "a live baby. Thankyou."

Lovely pics Onestep must've been a nice walk. All those places you mention are near me, DP grandparents are in Harlow and with am is 20 min away. I'm near Suffolk border. Trying to think of places between me and Kent!

Ok I have some family, Suffolk way in Long Melford, nr Bury St Edmunds. Lovely part of the world. I'm happy to meet wherever is easiest for you both.

Thanks ladies...I'll be ok once I get back to the routine of work everyday. I'll be too busy anyway, with 3 weeks of work piled up and cranky patients waiting on me to type up letters!

Have PM emerald,.so we'll try to organise something.

freckle my birthplan sounds similar. I'll just be happy to get pregnant and stay pregnant.

Is it bad that I feel less stressed now that I'll qualify for maternity pay next time? Its not ever been about the money, but it will help. Although I wouldn't have cared this time if I was still pregnant.
Sometimes I just feel guilty for enjoying a wine, or soft cheese etc as I'm not pregnant. And wish that I couldn't do that because I was still pregnant. Sometimes I just overthink and it's horrible.

Freckle lol re your friend. You know, this is the exact same convo I had with my friend last night! Who is due 3wks earlier than I should've been. She said exactly that about an epidural! I too had back to back 3day labour and just wanted to laugh at her. Oh and she knows all about my MC so was just like her rubbing salt in the wound.

Onestep long Melford and Bury are really not far from me at all! Bury is meant to be lovely tho I've not been there.
mrsB thanks will have a look, I'm sure we can sort it#excited! Don't feel guilty, I do too and wish that I was still pg and couldn't do it. I feel bad for having a wine, like I should be detoxing, but the enjoyment from a few wines soon overrules it!!

Thankyou for your empathy Emerald! 5 days back to back. I couldn't lie down, sit down, go to the toilet, all i could do was kneel and pace. Sometimes i have wondered if the memory of those 5 days is still somewhere inside me, stopping me from getting back there again. It was so brutal on me and i only got 2 cm dialated after all that. I was in a really bad way by the time they induced me. They put the epidural in at the same time so that i could sleep. That was friday morning and i hadn't slept since saturday night. That epidural was like breath from heaven to me!

My birth plan was: 'Do whatever you need to and just stitch me back up afterwards.' I do think its important to have information about what you van ask for, and what happens next under circumstances x, y and z, but, ultimately, its about getting the baby out safe and well. No point feeling sad about missing out on your whale music or whatever when push comes to shove IMHO!

So its not just me! My birth was nothing like I had envisageD. Instead of candles and nice music and waterbath an breathing through the pain. It was an induction that took 6 days, no sleep on antenatal ward with women popping into labour all around me, every drug available, an epidural and a forceps delivery only avoided due to midwives stalling the consultant in the hall. it wasn't the best, but I soooo don't give a stuff. The baby was never distressed at any point. ( oddly other people seem to be upset on my behalf). It is the end product that counts. I think I would be more upset if breast feeding went tits up than the labour being tricky.

I would love to say leeds to Edinburgh is doable in a day freckle, but i think 4hrs each way is probably a bit far (or even 2 hourss each if we meet in the middle! ) if I'm ever down at my sister's I'll let you know. She's just near bakewell so a bit more manageable!

Oh Freckle I feel your pain, back to back is really painful and 5 days of it is awful, poor you. I bet you were so relieved getting that epidural. I got to 6cm somehow with all drugs I could get, but when I got that epidural I think I told the guy he was God! Lol. I ended up with general anaesthetic after all that as DS heart rate plummeted. Was really upset I'd gone through all that to then not even see him come out. I think the memory does stay with you somehow.

Belle no not just you, mine sounds like was very similar to yours too, I was induced too. Was so determined to breastfeed after all that too.

March I love Edinburgh, shame it's not bit nearer!

I was obsessed with my idea of 'the birth' belle, though not a candle/music one. I was quite squeemish (not any more!) and was worried about blood/bloody baby. But i do totally getwhy people really get into the birth plan (as i did). I think its about fear and control. You're on a train, their is no getting off, and the end looks like a bloody crash and the planning bit is about taking control back and not feeling scared. But when push comes to shove (quite literally) the only thing that counts, as just** says is that you both get out live and well. I should have put more trust in the proffesionals!

March** - shame! X

Horrid typos, but MUST correct their = there! I can endure the others...!

Emerald** sorry to hear your less than idylic birth story (and secretly overjoyed that someone can vouch for how bad back-to- back actually is! Xxx)

I've just texted my closest friends within driving distance. None of them are around on the weekend I find out whether the ivf worked . I can't drive to stay with anyone for the weekend as I will have to be at the hospital on the Saturday morning for my blood test to confirm the result. I really am going to be totally on my own for this and am currently a snivelling mess on the sofa . There are other friends I could ask, but I don't feel close enough to them to ask them to come and hold my hand in the hospital at 7.30 on a Saturday morning and then cry on their shoulder all day .

You would all have wetted yourselves laughing at my birthplan. 2 pages of A4. I was very earnest about it all. Started off at home, got to 8cm in pool in front room with gas and air - marvellous stuff, I was spouting all kinds of crap and various midwives were very entertained. Then they found meconium in waters (DD way 16 days overdue) so I was rushed to hospital where it all went to shit, contractions slowed down and I ended up with spinal block, forceps and an episiotomy after more than 4 hours of pushing failed to move her. Stubborn little bugger - she's still just the same!

barking is it this coming Saturday or the weekend after? I'm more than happy to come and hold your hand and give you a hug if I'm free. Although I appreciate you'd rather have those closest to you there! X

Oh barking, sorry that none of your close friends can make it. Wish I was closer and I would absolutely be there. Will you treat before the official day or wait for the clinic test?

Test , not treat. Stupid phone