Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[BumbleBee0]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Hi ladies. Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement. Woke up this morning just wanting it all to be a nightmare.

Have had some lovely messages from friends, I know they feel helpless, but its nice to have support.

snoopy my first mmc contributed to me leaving my job. They were so unsupportive and horrible, and I could have gone through ACAS,but I had no fight in me. Stick in there, don't let them get to you, and fight for it.

About to ring work and ask if I can go in for half day tomorrow. They've told me not to.worry but I want to clear my workload before next week. Might also help me to.focus on something else right now.

Thanks mrsb. I'm actually taking my time on recuperative duties to apply for other roles.
Make sure you take care of yourself. If you think you'd benefit from the distraction then a half day might be a good idea and your work seems pretty understanding.

Thanks for all your advice ladies. Sorry for everyone else who is suffering today. It's almost like being in AA, just take it one day at a time and we will get there.

I think I have to start living my life without the goal of having children. I still want a baby with all my heart but it's too damaging to be consumed with it. The pain isn't going to go away and I need to find distractions to help me not think about it all the time. I'm starting with little things to try and feel good about myself again. I'm using up all my skincare and wearing makeup everyday, i figure if I look decent I'll feel a bit better. I've started applying for jobs, spent the last six months thinking I'm worthless which I know isn't true and I deserve better than the crap I'm doing now. I'm looking forward to a holiday in the U.S. in a couple of months and then we want to get a puppy.

Has anyone else got something nice planned to look forward to?

Snoopy I think the "pregnancy ended" part can be their technicality undoing if they don't define this...

When does the pregnancy in a miscarriage end?! When the heartbeat stopped even if you didn't know? When you're given bad news at a scan? When you pass the sac? When you've had an ERPC for further retained products? When the bleeding stops? When your HCG level is 0..?

If I were in your situation I'd be tempted to define end of pregnancy as one of those latter two because anything else the miscarriage/pregnancy complications are still ongoing rather than ended. So anything before this point is "threatened" or "inevitable" miscarriage but pregnancy not actually ended yet.

Arrgh. Missed so much!

flen, so happy for you! But annoying about the heparin. Hopefully prof b can persuade your consultant, or a private prescription is always an option

thorn, so sorry you have had some spotting. Really hope it's not as you suspect but we've all been there, so understand your worry. Big hugs and hope you can get seen sooner.

Glad everyone is liking the info spreadsheet and thanks barking for setting it up. It would be really good if this was a living document so if anyone can populate the sections on st marys, the lister and mr shehata, or any other testing/treatments, then that would be great, as i have no knowledge of these. Also the nhs testing was kind of off the top of my head so if anyone can expend on this (or amend it if it's wrong), then please do. I'm not precious about it and I'd rather it was correct.

minnie, big hugs and chin up. It's just impossible to know how long it'll take, and that's why it's so hard. Just because it's been a long time before doesn't mean you have to wait a certain amount of time for your body to allow you to get pg this time. It could happen this month or next. I really hope it does. Stay positive lovely x

freckle, 8dpo isn't too early for symptoms. For the pg that turned into mc 4 i had very strong symptoms at 9dpo and some symptoms before that. This morning (also 8 dpo), i feel hung over (but not been drinking). So my mind is running away with itself as well. Plus when i went to acu this morning, she said my pulse was 'pearly' (although this was after i told her about my pg symptoms! ), apparently your pulse feels different when pg - like a string of pearls. Trying not to get my hopes up too much (will be a bit annoyed with her if I'm not!!)

I see what you mean morgan. I'll see if I can ask for clarification

The other thing I need to know is they've counted my rest days as well as my working days should they do that?

that doesn't sound right snoopy. if you were in a 9-5 role I doubt they would count weekends.

Just went for a walk with DH. Came home with some sharp pains and brown spotting. Am terrified I'll mc before my ERPC Monday. I know to go to a&e if it gets worse. Fear of the unknown I guess.

If I do start to bleed, will they just give me painkillers and monitor me? Trying to be prepared is all.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this mrsb . I don't even have any advice except perhaps to call the epu for advice. Ours are great at any queries about stuff like that. Maybe they could help? Big hug x

So sorry mrsb what a horrible horrible time for you, I was in a similar situation last November though not as far gone, but terrified it would happen before op so I know how you feel about that. It can take awhile so try not to worry too much. Yes they would keep you in and give painkillers and monitor you, but hopefully you'll make Monday.
spaminit know how you feel, DP was reluctant last year and I pushed it twice he thought was too early after MC, and I did feel responsible when it didn't then work and we had to deal with it all, I think that made it all so much worse. Wise to wait till you're both on same page.

snoopy yes I've booked in lots of spa days and a night away next week with DP, def helps to have nice things to look forward to.

snoop I think Morgan makes an excellent point. For me my pg didn't end until 7 weeks after my mc started as that's how long it took for my hcg levels to return to 0. Don't let all this get to you easy for me to say as you need to look after yourself . You come first!

If anyone has more info to add to the spreadsheet just log into the Gmail account I set up to keep it anonymous - [email protected]. I won't put the password next to it on here but any member of this thread will be able to guess it very easily, just consider where a lot of our success stories have come from .
I'm happy to make it editable by anyone without logging in (and indeed anyone can log in with the details above and then make it editable for everyone), but I don't know if we'd risk someone accidentally wiping it while browsing on their phone (easily done!)

Thanks to all those who've offered support, we're definitely going ahead with the ivf this cycle.
Although today I feel hideous. Completely exhausted, headachy, stuffy nose etc. Last night I slept very badly as I had really bad period pain, never had it so bad it actually woke me up repeatedly before. Spoke to my friend at work about the ivf today and she asked me if I've got someone set up to talk to after each stage, even if it's just a monitoring scan and there's no news, so I'm able to talk to someone instead of Dh. When I said I was feeling ill today she suggested it was stress, as even if I didn't feel it, I was worried about doing this alone. At that point I thought I was going to start crying so she might have a good insight there. Or I might just be ill and therefore combined with AF more emotional...

Anyway, off to bed for an early night, already fell asleep on the sofa. Had really lovely plans tonight I was looking forward to, but hey, shit happens.
I plan to contact a few friends this weekend and get them all on stand by so I've got company from someone every evening after the scans and the transfer if I need it!
Apologies in advance for how much I'm going to be posting on here while DH is away!!!

barking I don't know a lot of your story, but sounds like you've come a long way to make the choices you've had. Post away, and I hope we can all help to support.

I agree with making plans to have things to look forward to. DH and I have a week in Devon coming up, booked to celebrate our 12 week scan, now it will help to recuperate and get away.

Also booking a London weekend for our 1st wedding anniv in August.

We have a puppy too, a 12 month old jack Russell. He's kept me sane through the shit, I've still had to get up and walk him, and look after him. Plus he's slightly nuts, so we have a lot of laughs.

I don't have the answer as to why some of us get the shit kicked out of us - emotionally and physically. And it makes me angry when I see women come into work (I work in a medical environment) who are on their 4th child and who smoke, drink etc. It's just not fair.
But we need to some how keep on keeping on, no matter how dark it gets.

Oh yes...feel free to remind me of that after Monday. I'll need it.

Sorry not to have posted much for last couple of days. Anxiety has ramped up massively since that stupid email from 'friend' and all my fears about this pg ending as well are rocketing. 20 week scan seems years away at the moment.

Anyway, just wanted to say yay! For flen and bumble on the positive scan news.

And thorne - am keeping everything crossed for you that it's not what you think lovely.

mrsb - huge hugs hun. i can only echo maybe calling the epu for some advice hun.

barking - so pleased you are going for it this cycle - post away. We will all be here for you.

Hugs to all I have missed.

x

Hi, don't post much but just wanted to say I met the lovely lurker today with Beth and it was great... To think last year we were both wondering if this would ever happen...

Nice to hear from you tiny. Hope teeny tiny Alice is doing well. So lovely that two of ore success stories have met up. Hope we'll be there one day

Argh DD sent home from nursery this morning with chicken pox I had it when a kid so should be ok despite being early pregnancy but it means I'll need to do tomorrow's scan on my own as DH will be on pox-watch.

That is a very reassuring post to read Tiny Tear. Thank you

I'm starting so get so nervous. I've booked a private scan tomorrow, I will be 8+4. The last two occasions that I was scanned by this sonographer, it was bad news. I did have symptoms prior to the bad news.
This time, I'm on 400mg cyclogest twice daily and 5mg of folic acid. I'm now getting paranoid that the cyclogest might hide any sign of problems. I've been frantically prodding my boobs, which are still fairly sore but I haven't really felt sick today. I really am trying to stay positive but am wary of setting myself up for a fall.

mrsc and fifi - best of luck for the scans tomorrow lovlies. x

Good luck for tomorrow's scans ladies!

Good luck for your scans MrsC & fifi xx

Fifi my symptoms always vanish before a scan. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

mrsC hope DD has it mildly. Typical timing for scan day. I know it's not the same but we'll all be in there with you.

What time are your scans?

Love the thought of Alice and Beth hanging out. longest and tiny you are shiny stars of hope to us all!

FiFi a midwife told me that they often find that ladies on progesterone feel slightly better (less sick) than those who aren't. Good luck tomorrow and you too MrsC.

Good luck fifi and mrsC for tomorrow.

So nice to hear of success stories meeting with babies, gives hope to us all.
barking best of luck for your IVF round