Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[BumbleBee0]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Thanks March cloud barking freckle I think maybe it is a personality trait on my part. I had accepted that I was pregnant both times I lost and obviously planned to have a baby at the end of it! I think mentally I was prepared to be having a baby and now that it has all changed I feel like I have backtracked.

I think I need to just focus on waiting for the consultant appointment and then take it from there.

Thanks all x

barking and march, please teach me how to be like you! I love things to be organised but struggle with spreadsheets/IT (and possibly with achieving the organisation I crave).

Hi ladies. I promise to go back and read the thread, but right now I just need to unload and I know you'll understand.

#29
#MMC #1 Christmas eve 2014 - 8 weeks. ERPC 31 Dec
#MMC #2 Today. Baby measured 12+3 with my dates that meant hearbeat stopped yesterday.

I really thought that lightning didn't strike in the same place twice. And that this year would be so much better than last year. As soon as the sonographer had that look on her face I knew.

The hospital has been amazing, gave us a special midwife for the day and we saw a consultant and a whole lot of other people.
Because of the measurements, and they detected a lot of amniotic fluid built up around the fetus, I had a CVS today. They are going to do a range of genetic testing to see if there is a reason.
I have my ERPC Monday.

Still very raw and emotional for my husband and I. I just want my mum and she lives in Australia :(

I've just got so much going on in my head. What if it I genetic? What happens then? What if it isn't? I want to try again, but can I handle the possibility of this again?
Work is understanding, but I've got no.paid sick leave.

So so much happening and I don't want to unburden on DH all at once. I'm also dreading the hormonal crash after the ERPC and the big black hole I was in last time.

Sorry for unloading....I guess this time I know what to expect but it still.doesnt take it all away.

bootles it's a family trait - my SiL jokes when anything is organised that between myself and my brother 'there'll be a spreadsheet for that'!

I went from being quite excited earlier to a little bit uncertain now. The nurse appointment to discuss the frozen cycle of IVF went well. We're having a natural cycle so no injections this time (unless I need to stimulate Ov if the surge isn't high enough). I'll start taking aspirin tomorrow due to the thrombophilia, and I'll have progesterone after transfer due to my LP issues (apparently they don't give this as standard on natural cycles). They will monitor with bloods and scans and deposit the embryo 5 days after ovulation (as it's a 5 day blasto, so that matches the time). As I don't need to be scanned until near ov, we're starting this cycle. Gulp. Which means I'll be doing it all by myself as DH leaves for his exciting summer holiday with a mate (he's still a teacher) in less than 2 weeks, and I go in for my first scan after that. Didn't want to wait, but I've no idea how I'm going to cope when things don't go to schedule (they haven't done for the previous two iui and ivf cycles so I don't see why they would when they're relying on my natural cycle!) and more importantly, not only will OTD (official test date to find out if it's worked) fall when DH is still away, he won't even be contactable, and he won't be back home until 11 days later... When the last round failed I was a mess. This time if it fails I'll be alone, and if it works I'll be stressing through early pg on my own.

Is this is really stupid idea?

xpost mrsb, I'm so sorry it's happened again . Just remember that right now is the absolute raw emotion, and it will get better, just keep plodding through until you can see the light. It's shit right now but it won't last forever .

Gosh barking, that is a lot to deal with on your own (although of course we will all be very much here for you, but it's obv not the same as support IRL). What does your dh think about it? It's such a hard one. You have to balance the disappointment of having to wait another month vs the having to deal with everything alone. I certainly wouldn't say its a stupid idea, but definitely worth some consideration. Have you got anyone else close who you could lean on while dh is away?

barking if you decide to go ahead we will be hand holding every step of the way. Is delaying one cycle so you have DH's support an option?

mrsb I'm really sorry Try not to overthink all possible outcomes of testing at the moment. I think CVS results come back fairly quickly so you should have that information soon. We're all here to support you any way we can.

Welcome mrsb. So sorry that this has happened again to you. Its so fucking unfair.
I'm glad you have said they are doing some testing on the foetus. It might give you some peace of mind and the strength to try again if you discover there was a random chromosomal issue. Hopefully this will also give you access to some of the other rmc testing alongside it. If/when you are ready to think about testing we can help you with some info. In the meantime take good care of yourself and try not to worry about taking time off work. You need it just now and that's that. Big hugs x

Mrsb so so sorry to hear of your losses. Unload all you need to here, we are all here to support you. I'm glad you are getting great support from your hospital. Keep talking to us xxxx

barking gosh that's so hard for you. But how brave and shows what a strong person you are. Grit your teeth girl and you'll get through this, we are 100 percent all behind you every step of the way. Keep talking and we'll so do our best to help you. Xxx

baking/march we could delay, but neither of us want to hang around. If this cycle fails we can go straight into the next frozen cycle with the other embryo (fingers crossed they both survive the defrost) and then we'll know where we are in September. Our first appointment at the fertility clinic was December 2012 after we'd failed to conceive in the first year. I can't believe we're still visiting that same building in July 2015 and having to walk past the pg women stood outside smoking and the sooner we can move on the better. If these embryos fail I want to go to a different private clinic yet to convince dh and the sooner I can get moving on that the better.

Hi all, thank you for the good wishes, all looking ok today - it exists and is there, saw sac + yolk, which is what they would expect for 5 weeks. Next scan same time next week. It was my first "positive" scan I've ever had!

On a less positive note, my consultant would not prescribe more progesterone or heparin. Can anyone tell me when heparin is best taken from? I have emailed Prof B who is happy to email my consultant direct, so that's one angle, and the other is to go to my GP. I am trying to decide whether I have enough time to wait until my usual GP is back form hol next Tuesday, I will be 5.6 then. Any thoughts?

Flen just wanted to say well done for your scan today and wish all good luck going forward. Xx

So pleased for you flen!

Well I've only just started the heparin and I'm 6+3. The epu said you should start any anticoagulants by 6 wks, however the point of the heparin prescribed under coventry is not for this, and when I spoke to Kerri the other week she said they don't scan at coventry til 6wks. I think using the heparin for that purpose (sorry can't think of the right term) starts working from 6wks so I think you'll be fine.

So frustrating your consultant won't prescribe any more, hoping prof B will do the trick.

barking it sounds like you've made up your mind about whether to go for it this cycle?? Is say to go with your gut feeling. Is there anyone else in RL who can support you if things didn't go to plan?

Just popping into to say 'Whoop!' to bumble and flen. As we say in Portsmouth, I am well pleased for you.

Hugs to everyone else! x

mrsb so sorry for your losses. My last loss was at 12 weeks too and it's just shit. Glad your hospital are being helpful though and are testing. Try not to worry about work and take some time, if you can, to process it and try and get to a slightly less dark place. Hugs xx

barking I agree with bumble that you sound like you really know in your heart which is your preferred option. I think if you feel strong enough to deal with either situation on your own then go for it. We'll all be here to handhold and hopefully you'll have some people in rl too. X

flen glad you've had a positive scan. Such a relief to know something is going on isn't it. Hope the next week whizzes by. Handholding (and feeling really positive for you!)

Afm I'm 6dpo and umming and ahing about taking the prog. I think I'm going to come down on the don't bother till bfp side. I also am 99% certain it'll be another bfn so can't see the point. I think we're looking at the long haul for another bfp and to be honest I don't think I'm up for it. Am starting to seriously think about giving up and accepting that ds (who obviously we're already so lucky to have) is going to be an only one. I realised the other day that aside from the 18 months around my ds pregnancy I've spent the last almost 7 years peeing on sticks, timing dtd and losing babies. Really WTF!!!!

I know I'm in the company of strong women here, who take the time to support others,and its ok to fall.apart if you need to.

DH and I have spent the afternoon resting, and crying. I just want Monday to be over now. We discussed a litte about tests, if CVS comes back normal I'll ask GP about bloods. I may not qualify as only 2 mmc. If so,.I'll start asking on here about private costs. One step at a time.

Hope I can offer support/a.shoulder to cry on for anyone else who needs it.

Minnie it's one hell of a journey miscarriage. I can understand why you feel how you feel.
After my 4th a few weeks back I stepped back and just felt I couldn't fight for it anymore, no more fight in me, thought well that's it then, it really isn't going to happen for us. But I'm going to continue on, please DON'T give up trying. Xxxx

Mrsb don't let anyone tell you that you don't qualify for any NHS tests only after 2 mc. In my book 2 mc is enough, fight for NHS testing. Obviously you are right in the thick of if at the moment. Rest up, concentrate on getting yourself through the next week or so and then get those tests on the NHS, you have suffered enough. It was mental health awareness week the week I found out at my 12 wk scan. I walked out of EPU with my husband and walked straight in to my GP surgery and got an urgent appt. my husband pointed out that there was a poster on the wall in the clinic about mental health awareness and said was it fair my mental health was being so severely affected repeatedly through miscarriage and lack of support through early pregnancy. GP turned back to her computer and referred me there and then to RMC in Oxford. I know we were lucky to have a GP who listened to us. It will take some time now to get your strength back, but you will and when you do, don't get fobbed off, demand those tests. Big big hugs to you and your DH, and sorry you are suffering right now, but you will come through this. Xxxx

Great news flen and bumble!

Welcome newbies and so sorry for your losses, you are definitely in the right place here for advice and support.

Sadly for me it looks like mc no 3 has just started. After a slow start, lines were as dark as control line last week so was beginning to feel more hopeful, but spotting has begun today at 5+1 (exactly the same time as mc in April) and all symptoms disappeared as of yesterday. Also have had sore glands in throat since yesterday and wondering if this points to immune issues. Totally devestated, but at least I will get some NHS testing now.

mrsb I'm so sorry. Life is so hard sometimes. I'm glad that the hospital are being so good with you. The frustrating thing is that often they don't know why it happens. It might be genetic or it might not, but if it is, not every single egg is a bad one. You have got pregnant twice in the last year and will do again. This really is the best place to chat and vent your frustrations. Start trying again as soon as you feel ready. It may not happen immediately but you will get pregnant again soon.
I had MMC1 in Oct 14 then my second this April. I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant.
Each pregnancy is a completely separate event. There are so many fantastic success stories on here.
Take time to relax, cry, do what ever you need to. This time next week, you'll have had your op and will be feeling so much better. Take care, lots of love xx

mrsb I saw a consultant privately after my second MC. He was fantastic, very positive and encouraging. He has put me on 5mg folic acid daily and 400mg cyclogest twice daily for this pregnancy.

So sorry to hear that Thiornfield. Sending hugs xx

That spreadsheet is amazing ladies! Well done and thank you.

mrsB I'm sorry you find yourself here. It can be the hardest thing to hear but your chances of a successful pregnancy next time are still good. I'm glad you're being looked after by the hospital. Get as much off your chest on here as you like. Don't worry about venting or hogging the thread. Take as much care of yourself as you can. Xx

thorn I hope the spotting settles and you are wrong but we've all been there so understand the worry and madness to our way of thinking. Will you get in touch with your epu or gp?

Super news flen rubbish about the heparin. Hopefully Prof B can help. If not could you take a road trip to get some from Coventry? Realise it's a way to go, but it is an option.

Thanks ladies. mrsd saw my GP last week who referred me for a scan next Tuesday. Got the letter today just before discovering the spotting. Oh, the irony