Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 26 - tests, treatment and trying again

[bythesea82]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Oh onestep I'm so sorry the scan didn't show anything, I think there is a chance you had a chemical and there is some tissue left that's generating hcg. I had this happen to me with my second MC although my numbers never got above 200.

My understanding is your hcg needs to be 2000 and above for something to show on a scan. I think they need to keep measuring your hcg and if the numbers keep increasing they must scan you again once they hit the 2000 mark. If it is ectopic it will be at a certain size that problems will occur.

If your hcg starts going down then they will usually monitor the hcg until you start to bleed. Right now the important thing is making sure it's not an ectopic pregnancy.

Thanks for the kind words everyone. From the research I've done online it looks like I'm 5 weeks 1 day according to LMP (13th May) and that size and a heart beat should have been sold to me as good news. I just don't know why it wasn't and am pondering whether the heart beat was very low. I wish id asked what it was but at the same time I didn't want to know.

I know it sounds silly but for self preservation sake I'm going to consider myself not pregnant anymore. I will carry on taking my vits and Cylogest but anticipate bad news for next week.

Totally understand the self preservation sebs. Sometimes you've just got to do that. I think they tend not to measure the hb that early. I think I read that it starts slower and speeds up, so perhaps that just causes worry.
If it's ok, I will be quietly hopeful on your behalf whilst you prepare yourself for the worst.

March that made me smile . Yes you can hold my flame of hope aloft whilst I stamp all over the match that lit it ( my phone tried to auto correct wink to wank then ).

sebs damn autocorrect! I'm imagining the emoticon for wank...!

Onestep I'm so sorry. Definitely and tlc for you tonight.

sebs big hugs. Take it a day at a time

So pregnant colleague gave birth yesterday. A little boy and a name from my list so that's the 3rd name I've had to cross off the list.

As I'm pregnant now it's much easier for me to be thrilled for her - rather than bitter and resentful. Which I would have been.

But it still made me feel sad and long for the 3 babies I've lost. I miss them so much

My 12 week scan appointment has come through and it doesn't even feel real yet. Got another 2 weeks to go until next scan and just so much can happen between now and then.

Feel so fragile

Purple lovely to hear from you and glad you are better and John is ok

Hugs sebs. And again to onestep

fackinell welcome

purple so sorry to hear you have had an infection, hope all is well now. Not sure if you know but we now have a thread for baby photo's (-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Success-Photo-thread-Baby-photos-) sorry tried to do the link it won't work and I have given up.

cat glad to hear Louis is settling in, hope you are getting along ok

sebs I can't see anything negative about what was seen. I was scanned at 5+3 and foetal pole was 2mm, no HB. Once FP is seen (between weeks 5 and 6) it should grow 1mm per day, so 4mm with a HB before 6 weeks sounds very positive to me. Obvs no guarantees as we all know to our cost, but I can't actually see how a scan could be any more positive at that stage.

onestep sorry you are in limbo, it's the pits.

purple hello! sounds like you've had a rough time, hope you and John are on an even keel now.

bootles I have uploaded a pic of John on the photo thread

Welcome fackinell Have you already had the standard tests? I also recommend Prof Q, going to Coventry felt like a last ditch effort for us, if they had not offered us any hope we'd have given up, but as it was I got a high uNK cells diagnosis and my next pregnancy was successful.

Just flung myself on the bed in a fit of anger and tears after listening to my dh giving his sister an update. I get so angry listening at every last personal detail being relayed over the phone. It's personal stuff!!

Can't believe I'm adding mc 4 to my stats. I can't do anything when this happens, everything goes on hold. Don't know how other people with children already cope when they then have miscarriages, guess they just have to. But for me my whole life standstill.

Supposed to be having both sets of parents and sisters up this weekend for a BBQ before we move house, now called off. Can't bring myself to go to dh best mates christening either in a couple of weeks, just too much.

Feel so numb. Thanks you are all so brilliant with your advice and words.

Back to JR tomorrow at 11am for repeat bloods, just want this all to end now. Apparently nothing can normally be seen on scan until your hcg is over 1000.

Please can someone tell me how to access the photo thread? Thanks x

Thank you for the additional welcomes.

Oh, Onestep I know exactly how you feel. I was so hopeful before my end of April MC because it was the furthest I'd ever got. All around me people are having babies, including my DhalfSis. It just seems so unfair.

Bakingtins, I've had everything possible on NHS and there is nothing wrong other than my age. I will go to DrQ and have already downloaded the book 'it all starts with the egg.' I never paid too much attention to nutrition until pg as I thought the eggs I had were as good as they would be.

one step I'm sorry you're going through this. You're right they have to wait until HCG rises - usually if they can't see anything on scan when HCG is 1500-1800 the presumption is that it is ectopic. But in some cases, HCG does go down instead, in which case the pregnancy (whether ectopic or not) may resolve itself and you don't need any further treatment. So don't worry just yet about surgery etc, there is more than one way that this could play out. And even if it is ectopic, some hospitals offer medical treatment, so it does not necessarily mean surgery. I know how hard this is, but I am sure you are in excellent hands at the JR.

Sebs I think your scan result sounds good - the right measurements, and I don't think they usually can measure the speed of the HB at that size (certainly my early location scans around 5 weeks have just noted the presence of a HB but not the speed). Might the sonographer just have asked about the spotting because the computer form asked? Totally understand the self preservation thing.

purple I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time - I hope you are on the mend and enjoying your lovely little chap.

Trying to get a bit more positive here - in the process of booking acupuncture, and have started exercising ( not much - 25 mins 5 times a week when I can fit it in), but maybe it will help... And if not, maybe I'll be fitter, which might be nice! Strange contraction-y cramps have gone, but still no period. Sure it's coming though, so on the wine.

Onestep** this has been a really traumatic week for you and my heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself
You are in the eye of a storm just now but we are all in there with you. Sending you strength through the etherweb xxx

Girlie** is it you that needs temporary bigger summer clothes? If only you were up here in yorkshire, i've got a shed load of lovely summer clothes (i am a bit addicted to nice clothes) that i am currently too fat for, and they would be roomy on you!

Purple** so good to hear from yoy and si sorry to hear you've had infection, how are you now?

Sorry typos!!
spartacus**!!

spartacus I just don't know. I had talked to her about spotting on the Monday but she had forgotten and then remembered afterwards. When I described it she said it sounded like implantation (I've heard the implantation line so many times it doesn't make me feel better). So I have no idea why there was such a sense of doom surrounding the scan results.

Baking I keep reading about this 1mm a day thing but if that's the case wouldn't I be nearly 9mm at 6 weeks which I think is too big? I know I'm just driving myself mad and I have to just let Friday roll round and deal with the findings then.

purple so sorry you've been in hospital. Will go and find the photo of gorgeous John

More hugs onestep. Not surprised you have shut down. It's all happened so quickly too and it's a lot to take in. I hope the numbers start to go down now so there are no concerns about surgery. X

Welcome fackinell. I think Coventry is worth a try. If nothing else, they speak to you like an individual human being rather than just putting you on whatever the nhs Guidelines say.

I'm well and truly on the as well tonight. Shit day again after thinking I was ok the last two days. Spoke to the EAP without having a breakdown this time so they are setting up some counselling.
A friend who had the same due date as the baby that turned into my first mc posted that her son took his first steps today, so that set me off (and reminded me that I've got the anniversary coming up next month). Was trying to work out which months aren't spoilt by mc dates or due dates and they are diminishing fast

For whoever it was that was asking, The lovely baby photo thread is here

Pop* minnie and bumble my emails are not downloading to my phone for some reason. Are we still on for 11.30am tom at hotel chocolate? Bumble* how are you feeling? Going to pm you all my text number jic. x

Ooh have a lovely meet up ladies!

Agreed Sebs the implantation line is balls. I have concluded true implantation bleeding is a myth, but people spot for all sorts of (benign) reasons. My take in scans is that if you look ok for dates, and you don't have a mammoth yolk sac, it is probably fine (subject to chromosome issues that you simply can't predict). My pregnancy that ended for unknown reasons was never - not once- spot on for dates. Yours is. I think (self preservation aside) that that is a minor victory.

Had long chat today with my older sister, who had 3 miscarriages in a row herself, albeit over 20 years ago. They happened between child one and two. (Differences: she had no fertility issues though, and was mid-20s rather than mid-30s when they happened, unlike yours truly.)
It was so good to chat as she
obviously gets how crap I / we all feel and there's hope as she got her second child eventually. She said she was on tenterhooks for the entire pregnancy with her second child though. She had some hormonal imbalance it seems, which was corrected, but she couldn't remember the details. She said the pain never goes away though and everytime she hears of someone who has miscarried, she feels it all flooding back. The reason she's my much older sister is cos my mum had infertility and miscarriages too. I wonder is this hereditary at all? Wish I'd realised sooner if so!

Someone asked about miscarriage when you already have children... Practically it makes it trickier I guess. DS took forever to get to sleep when I had my latest one last week. DH was flitting from his room to ours constantly. DS was also calling for me and I just couldn't go to him.... Only once I knew he was asleep did I move to the bathroom to clean up and finish iyswim (waterproof sheet and towels on bed) as I just didn't want to risk him seeing anything. DH has been amazing when I've been limited physically, but he's as hurt emotionally as me. You do have to get on though, which is probably good, and DS has definitely got us through this past, awful week. When I was depressed due to infertility before DS I was prone to wallow and want to sleep lots etc but it's not an option now.

onestep I'm due at a family christening in a week's time. They know about both my mcs and say they understand if we can't make it. I would love to go especially as we don't all see each other often but I think it's too soon and I'd hate to get emotional and spoil it for them. I hate that, aside from the obvious tragedy of miscarriage and infertility, they also make a mess of all sorts of plans and means you're in limbo for an unknown amount of time.

freckle I am still all set for it and have pm'd you back. Have told my visiting mum all about it and she's as excited as me now . See you tomorrow!

Jealous of the meet-up! :) Any south Wales people on here? Floweroct? Anyone else?