Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 26 - tests, treatment and trying again

[bythesea82]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Huge hugs sebs. Really sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment. Echo what everyone else has said - were here if you need us

So glad to hear good scan updates bootles and cloud

barking how annoying - hope you manage to talk them round tomorrow.

As for me... Suspect the this will be a chemical pregnancy. The few symptoms I did have seem to have faded since Saturday and the line on test this morning was not any darker than the one 2 days ago. Had a few AF twinges this afternoon too. Will wait till AF shows until getting too despondent but it's not looking great. Self medicating with chocolate and ice cream this eve!

Thorn I hope you're wrong, big hugs to you xxxx

Freckle I second that too! I love your words... 'swearing warning' …you make me lol!

Me too onestep . Hope you are having a better day today xx

I've fallen behind as lost my phone charger over weekend, trying to catch up.

sebs, gentle hugs, it feels scary and lonely in the dark but we're all there to listen when you want.

cloud, bootles thrilled at good scan news! Yaaaay! you go girls.

barking grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. The universe really needs to just give you a blooming break.

thorn hoping you're wrong. Hand holding and hugs abs definitely yes to chocolate until things become clearer.

After Saturday's blood results, I didn't get expected call today with next set so I'm a bit worried... Scan tomorrow, very early (3 weeks post conception by my maths) so really hope they find something, and that it's not ectopic again...

MrsC very best of luck for your scan tomorrow. Xxx

Thorn not really, had another down day, just sore stomach muscles, at least that's what I think they are!

Also can't help be affected by what has happened in Tunisia! My heart goes out to those tourists and the locals. I know it can happen anywhere in the world. But I think sometimes ...do I want to bring a child in to this frightening world right now, it's so scary!

Thanks mrsc. Good luck for your scan tomorrow - so hope it's good news for you.

Sorry to hear that onestep. Hope you are taking it easy both physically and emotionally . I was in a very difficult place after mc 2, so much so that my mum wanted me to go to docs for antidepressants but I waited it out and it did get better albeit slowly. I do think that hormones after mc are very powerful and it takes at least a cycle to get back on an even keel. That coupled with the sadness of the loss can knock you for six. Big virtual hugs to you, hope tomorrow is a better day Xxx

Yes agreed thorn I should know better, have suffered with these emotions every mc so far, don't know why I get so shocked at feeling like this every time! As you say tomorrow is a new day. Xx

barking September is rubbishly long to wait. You must be beyond gutted, I'm really furious on your behalf, that's bloody useless of them! I agree that ringing regularly has got to give you at least a chance of getting in earlier. Really hoping something gets sorted out xx

mrsconfusion sorry they didn't ring with blood results. I doubt it means anything though, other than they forgot, or didn't have time? 3 weeks post conception they might well see the sac, but it's so stressful waiting I know...big hand hold xx

thorn I hope its just differences in your urine concentration/time of day/hcg on the test strip, and I wouldn't put too much emphasis on symptoms at this stage, everything always seems so up and down in the first week. Hand holding and hoping for you xx

onestep after my natural or medication induced mc's I had sore stomach muscles - but I think you said something about trimming with garden shears and possibly pulling a muscle? Poor you, last thing you need. Don't let it drag on, and get checked if it continues (my humble opinion). I know, Tunisia, and Taiwan are just too awful. Absolutely know what you mean about querying bringing someone into this world. I used to be pretty adventurous, went to all sorts of places, did all kinds of interesting and slightly bonkers things

Posted too soon..

But these days, since having DS the world is terrifying to me. I have become so scared of danger round every corner. I went through a stage recently of refusing to watch the news as I ended up an emotional wreck each time, but then had to start again to a degree, as my ignorance was disturbing me. At the moment though you are in a difficult place, so remember to look after yourself xx

Oh god, me too Bootles. I remember in the first months after DS1 was born, having to stop watching the news because I'd be sitting there with tears running down my face by the end, every single time. It was possibly partly down to my fragile mental state, but suddenly the world does feel like a scary place.
And a very unfair place.
When I imagine trying to escape somewhere like Tunisia with a child, I actually get palpitations. Although I'm reasonably well travelled, no way would I go to Middle East now. So very sad for the poor people who got caught up in it.

Not wanting to put you off though OneStep. I suppose it's about changing the things you can in the world and accepting the things you can't.

Hand holding from me thorn. I hope it's not as you fear, but understand that worry as my last two have felt that way. Keeping everything crossed for a stronger line

Also hand holding for the scan today mrsc. Really hoping everything looks on track and in the right place, although frustratingly you will almost certainly have to go back for another scan to confirm growth, so do come back and talk to us during that tortuous wait.

onestep, so sorry you are struggling. I am the same with the mcs. It always takes you by surprise how much it affects you, even with the early ones. I just feel broken. And i don't know about for you, but it seems to have become normalised for the people around me now, so it's more like "oh, another one, sorry to hear that", which is at odds with how I'm feeling. It will get better soon, but it just takes time, so don't be to hard on yourself

He's on holiday barking?! That's even more annoying! Really hope he can squeeze you in before he goes, or that he agrees that you can carry on without seeing him. I'm not sure what he needs to say if the results are normal for nk. Hopefully he can just make a plan for you to follow. You've done this bit before (albeit not with frozen ones), so hopefully there should be a way to carry on with your plan whilst he lies on a beach.

march absolutely agree with your own mc's feeling as if they are normalised by everyone else. Post mc when I have felt in the depths of despair, I have felt a sense of 'oh another one' from those around me, and a sense of almost impatience that I continue to try. No-one has actually said that of course. This has truly been the only place I have felt understood. Even my GP, when I went to get meds for this pg, gave me a pitying look.

I really relate to the broken feeling post mc march, but try to stand by your advice to others and know that you will feel better in time, you just need to get through at the moment. And be kind to yourself. Is your appointment at Coventry coming up soon?

Hand holding mrsconfusion and thorn

Phone consult on Thursday bootles. I'm not sure why I'm bothering him. I know what he's going to say. The prog is doing its job. Just keep trying. I'm seriously considering just taking it from bfp this month though. I've just lost faith in it.

Good luck for your scan mrsC and hcg levels thorn xxx

march I wonder if he will suggest trying the higher dose, have you tried it before? I can understand wanting to just use from BFP, based on the come down alone being so awful. Hugs lovely x

Very best of luck for the scan today mrsc - we will all be there with you.

thorn - keeping everything crossed that it's not what you fear.

march - I too feel as though the mcs just become the norm to other people. After my third, my mother asked me if it wasn't time to stop this (she didn't say 'silliness' but I knew that's what she meant). Like it couldn't possibly work out in the future. Needless to say I didn't tell her about the 4th mc or the 5th pregnancy.

barking - grrrr to September. Think u should definitely push to crack on without seeing the consultant. If the results are normal then presumably he won't have anything much to add???

x

Good luck with the scan mrsC

barking How rubbish, no wonder you are cross! Any chance you can see someone else instead? Surely they much arrange cover of some sort. They can't just expect people to take a break from everything in August...

Quick question to those who have been taking progesterone - how did you go about weaning yourself off? I had to stop quite abruptly last time because I ran out of the pessaries, but I'm hoping to do it a bit more gently this time. At what rate did you reduce the dose?
I really feel I need to stop soon - I'm getting loads of tummy upsets, and my bum is really sore (sorry tmi).

Cloud I'm due to stop at 12 weeks ( so 3 weeks time) but no way just stopping. I've still got some 200 mg left. So will prob do 400 at night, 200 in morning for a couple of days, then maybe 400 just at night, then maybe every other day and then 200 every other day so I really ease myself off gently

Normal NK cells. And lots of additional info about my uterus looking like it's trying to do what it's supposed to do which was unexpected. Good news - but why have I been so unlucky?! Consultation in a few days which I'm looking forward to.

Will do a proper check in later. Great news about your scan Bootles! March - so with you about it becoming increasingly normalised to others as it becomes more traumatising for the couple in question.

Spoke to the clinic. The receptionist is going to get my notes out tomorrow and ask the consultant (he's not in today) whether we can go ahead without seeing him. She's going to give me a call back tomorrow and let me know. Fingers crossed we can still go ahead in August. It's too late for July now as I'm due AF within the next week, but August would be preferable to November!!! The thought of getting the result in December, 4 years after we started ttc and 3 years after our first fertility clinic appointment, would be too depressing. It really upsets me that ivf success rates plummet after you hit 35. I was 33 when we first went to the clinic, but Nhs waiting lists plus the delay of two mc's means I'm now 36 and in the much lower statistic . If I had any idea of what was ahead I'd have gone private three years ago when our chances were still high .

Argh! Sorry, I'll turn off the me, me, me once I know what's happening!!

barking good stuff, get them working for you!! Xx

Don't forget Barking my single friend was 37 (as she's my age) when she had her IVF. You aren't too old lovely.

It's DP's birthday today (46!!) so we've got the day off and I'm 9 weeks tomorrow and I can't help but panic that my symptoms seem to have faded a bit. I don't feel sick anymore

I can't help but worry and with the scan on Friday I'm all over the place

Glad the receptionist is going to try and sort it out barking. They always seem to have lots of power in these situations! Fingers crossed for next month (or a lovely surprise this month! )

twilight, yay/boo [delete as appropriate] on the 'normal' results. Hope your consult with the prof goes well.

Hand holding brummie. Symptoms come and go (you know this, but i just thought I'd say it anyway). Not long to go now til you get some reassurance