Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 26 - tests, treatment and trying again

[bythesea82]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Yay bootles! So happy you've made it past your danger week . Really hope in the coming weeks you'll be able to relax more. The trial sounds good, and the fact you can have scans whenever. Great!

Yay cloud and bootles. So happy for you both x

Oh that's such great news bootles - hopefully you can manage to relax a little before the next scan. And great that you have signed up for the research. Reassurance scans on demand sound a great plus. xxx

Yay Cloud and Bootles please send some of that good luck Birmingham way!!!

Bricking it for Friday..

I'm getting fat though, my skirt doesn't do up today and my stomach is black and blue from those bastard needles!!!

Oh, that's fab, bootles Such a relief!

sebs I can only echo what others have said - keep talking to us, if you find this helpful in any way. But don't feel you have to - we all deal with things differently, and I have taken a step away from MN a number of times when it all became too much.

I was measuring slightly behind (13+3 instead of 14 weeks), but it meant that they were happy to do the NT measurement and the screening bloods.
The next few days will be my biggest milestone - if they find anything worrying in the screening results, I will be getting a phone call in the next 2-3 days, if not, I will receive a letter in 4-6 days. I wish I had requested that they call me regardless, just so that I know as soon as possible... It's probably too much to ask, I realise that everyone would like that, but I am not looking forward to the rest of this week

Bootles excellent news, and amazing that they will give you a scan whenever you want one!

cloud more lovely news

Sebs glad to hear Friday went well, for the anxiety. Do whatever you need to do to look after your mental health.

I'm in a fuck it, I can't be arsed anymore phase. 3 weeks wheat free then I accidentally fell off the wagon at the wkd, had a bacon butty then a bad choice of pub lunch without even thinking about it, only realised later. The acupuncture lady told me I should calm down on my exercise levels last week and I keep forgetting to take the various vitamins and supplements. I've fallen off the tee total wagon as well. I'm just fed up. I've tried all this shit before, it's not got me anywhere. I'm wondering if there's any point continuing to do stuff that is affecting my enjoyment of life for no apparent benefit. I'm not talking about giving up ttc, just all the natural remedy stuff that is supposed to be helping.

I've been ttc 3.5 years and he main things I've tried are the following:
zero alcohol
wheat free
various vitamins
Chinese herbs
acupuncture
reduction of exercise

None of these things enhance my life, I haven't felt or seen any benefit and I wouldn't be doing any of them if I wasn't desperately trying to get pg. Is it time to give up? Non of this has been advised by a medical professional, only alternative therapists....

Bootles and Cloud, excellent scan news!

Excellent scan news bootles and cloud Hope your blood results come back ok cloud.

barking I'd be inclined to ditch the diets and zero alcohol, not from any valuable advice or experience but just from you saying you havent had any benefit from it and its preventing you from enjoying things. I definately think you deserve to let your hair down and be kind to yourself by eating and drinking what you want for a bit. Then you can always restart it if you feel like it.

Barking I would absolutely ditch diets and zero alcohol.

I did both during my miscarriages so it clearly didn't have any effect. Don't torture yourself. Live your life and eat what you want and enjoy the odd glass of wine. Ok maybe don't binge drink every week but now is the time to think about you

barking, i agree with bumble. If avoiding alcohol and special diets etc has not helped and is making life miserable then give it up, even if it's just for a bit to give yourself a break. Alcoholics, drug addicts and bread eaters (!) The world over still manage to get pg, so whilst I'm sure it helps some people get pg, if it's not helped you then maybe you're not one of the ones it works for. You deserve a break from the constant slog of doing all these extra things to help ttc. You can always start some things again at a later date as you approach your FET if you think it'll help, but don't be to hard on yourself for the bacon butty etc (sounds yummy!)
Any results yet? Are you in the tww now? If so, I'm really hoping to be joining you there soon.

barking - sound like a good plan to ease up on the diets / no alcohol etc if it doesn't seem to have benefitted you and is stopping you enjoying life as you should be hun.

brummie - so with you on the skirt not doing up. I'm 12+5 and there is a very definite protrusion out front that I never had previously. I was under the misguided assumption that nothing would appear for weeks yet???! Have dating / nuchal scan on Thursday and am bricking it. Head is firmly shoved in sand.... x

Great news bootles

Bootles, I'm so pleased for you!

Cloud, you too. I remember (think it was you!) who was very down in the few weeks before your BFP. Well if that was your darkest day, it's looking very positive that this can be your dawn.

Sebs, don't apologise. But do look after yourself. Do post when you need to. And do ask for help if you need to. I think prenatal anxiety and depression is quite common and we must be more at risk than others.

So pleased Bootles and Cloud you've had good scans

Barking, I've come to the conclusion that diet doesn't make a difference to fertility unless you seriously have a bmi problem. When I had dd had a higher bmi than in any of my mc and drank alcohol in the 2ww gap, whilst I've actively lost weight prior to each attempt this time and cut out alchol only to have a mc each time. It's of course a personal choice but for me I've decided I ca 't be completely miserable.

Af has arrived 7 days early on holibobs and too heavy for a tampon (sorry if tmi) so means I can't go in the pool with everyone else. Know in the grand scheme of things it's not much to moan about but it's so blooming annoying especially as now on 4 month ttc ban until histoscopy is done.

V pleased to read good news from cloud and bootles

cloud hope you can find lots of distractions for the next few days until bloods come back, but a low NT measurement is a good start.

sorry only have time for a quick post but wanted to say woop woop re good scans

Also to add my hug for sebs and to say go for it to bootles re the new job and barking re grabbing some of your life back. doing something for you is good and life enhancing. xxx

Pleased to hear the good scan news too!

Fab news!

cloud doesn't dating get a bit hazy much past 12 weeks anyway? 1.9 nuchal is a great start. Hoping you have an uneventful few days with plenty to occupy yourself, until the letter arrives in the post.

barking I agree with everyone else. It won't show any less commitment to ttc to let your hair down a bit. You strike me as a pretty health conscious person, and a normal balanced diet with some pleasant evenings of wine now and again, is not going to do any harm. I do think you need to do some things for you, and you say you have tried all the supplements /diet etc, to no avail. So maybe its time to try something else. Just everything in moderation perhaps. You deserve a break you really do.

Sorry about af girlie

sun hand holding for thursday

Sending good luck your way brummie

Thanks all for support - it really helps. And too longest and march for your encouragement re my new work plans. brummie exactly, school holidays etc - nightmare. I think if parents are happy with childcare then the children are happy. Its just not right for me.

Prof Brosens used to work at the epu - it's his friend/consultant who is doing the research study. The doctor actually said: "we appreciate that for women like you it's a scary time. We'll scan you whenever you want, it only takes us 2 minutes" Got to love her. I think all the women in the study have had pre term births/rmc etc etc, though they must have a control group too.

Great news about the unlimited scans. just what the Dr ordered!

One bonus of my longer than planned gap is that I am home this year so dd1 can settle in at school without needing after school club, though tbh she has been going to it one day a week for the past year, and to holiday club too and has been fine, so I know it can work. I am lucky to be able to work part time though and have some family help too so she doesn't have to go every day.

Thanks for all the replies, I don't feel so guilty now .

I called the hospital to ask where my results were and she said a letter was on its way... But she read it to me and basically it's clear for raised nk cells. Which is a relief as it means I don't have to take steroids or repeat the barbaric biopsy.
We can't have the frozen embryo transfer until we've spoken to the consultant, and whenever the next available slot is after that which fits in with my cycle. His next available appointment? September. . This means FET could be October, more likely November if we have the scratch in the previous cycle. I am very upset.

Arrrrgh barking! Very on your behalf. Why did he not book you in before if his schedule was so full? How utterly frustrating. Any chance of a cancellation? I would be tempted to hound phone them every week to ask about cancellations. There have to be some people who have surprise pregnancies and cancel
I would have thought.
Glad the nk result is clear anyway. But bollocks shit crap bum for the waiting time

Oh barking that's awful. Wish I could give you a big hug. I agree with march that surely there must be cancellations and they could put you at the top of the list. Very for you xxx

barking I'm v angry for you too, hope you can get in earlier!!

On the skirt not doing up... I bloat terribly just after ov and then worse in the early days and weeks of pregnancy, I can't fit into my jeans or clothes, is this right to be like this so early on?? It's so uncomfortable to sit down at a desk for long periods and I always get sore ribs. Just did a pg test and I still have enough hcg for a clear but faint line, so looks like I'll still have to go back for a blood test at JR on Weds am until these levels drop to 0.

Consultant is going on holiday and not back until the end of August, so not much hope of an earlier cancellation . I'm going to call the clinic in the morning and see whether it's possible to go ahead without seeing the consultant first.

Still catching up from a day without my phone (and drooling over my new couch...this months bfn consolation ro myself).
Bootles* and cloud i am over the moon for you, and sebs*, whatever dark whisperings your fears are torturing you with. Yay for good scan news!
Barking** (swearing warning) fucking sod it love! Got to scrape some kind of happiness back from the joyless bitch that is rmc!!!! Xxxxxxxx