Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 26 - tests, treatment and trying again

[bythesea82]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Oh Sebs my heart goes out to you. I don't know if you were on the thread when I was in the first 16 weeks but I completely decided that this wasn't for real. It was the only way I could cope with it going wrong. Every scan I expected the news and every visit to the loo I expected the worse. I detached myself so totally that it was incredibly hard to believe that I'd gone into labour the other day - in my head I wasn't pregnant. It is so, so, so hard to be part of this unique journey, don't be hard on yourself it is completely understandable. I am here, as are we all, if you need us - feel free to PM me if you want my number. Just remember that sometimes it's also alright. Sending you hugs

Oh sebs sweetheart you sound in a very dark place at the moment. It's just the scariest scariest time and nothing anyone says about it being ok will help. Please keep talking on here and getting through each day- if it means totally denying your pg/thinking its ending then so be it. Do what you need to to get through. Massive massive hugs xx

brummie and bootles handholding for your scans this week xx

sasha and onestep sorry you're feeling so down. The prog comedown sounds shit (I think I avoided it as I only did it for two days before the bfn and giving up) hope it gets better once cycle gets going x

I'm managing to feel pretty upbeat at the moment weirdly. The hen do on Friday and today I've been on a spa day- neither day involved anyone with babies/pg or even talk of it and I feel so much better for the break. Makes me wonder whether I should just stop peeing on sticks and just try and go with the flow (something my acupuncturist is adamant I should do!) Hard to let go of it all though.

Hugs to anyone who needs one x

sebs The first trimester is just sh*t. There is no better way to describe it. You have to go into total survival mode - head in sand, one day at a time. It's brutal, and no one will understand who hasn't been in the same situation.
Like boozle, I mainly got on by trying to forget/ignore that I am pg. just trying to keep my head above water, immersing myself in work. Is that possible for you at the moment?
Sadly, there is no guarantee it'll be fine! But you can do this, you know you can - even if it comes to the worst, you can get through that, too.
Can you speak to your midwife? Mine was very perceptive, after hearing about my history, they can arrange support! If that's not an option, definitely talk to your GP - although most will know very little about the physical aspects of rmc, they undoubtedly are aware of the mental impact.
You're not alone xxx

Sebs, God you must be really going through it. I'm so sorry you feel so low and full of anxiety. Huge hugs and tons of empathy for you. We all understand some of the feelings you are having, but yours sound so debilitating at the moment. I can't remember if you have a good GP or not, but it really sounds like some additional support could benefit you.

You were sounding depressed before you had your bfp and all the hormones will be making you feel loads worse, so I really think some of these feelings could be down to this. If you start to feel really bleak, please please talk to someone.

And in the meantime, we all care deeply what happens to you. x

Bootles good luck today!!!

Will be thinking of you!!

Good luck today bootles and cloud (read you had your scan too on another thread) xxx

Thanks brummie and Minnie , I am just about about keeping a lid on the panic.

Hand holding for you today too cloud - I think you are up too?

cloud you put it perfectly about the first trimester. It's not something anyone can understand if they aren't 'one of us', and it causes immense anxiety and fear. Absolutely it's about survival and whatever gets you through.

onestep thanks for your encouragement about my plans

Thanks bumble

sebs hope you are feeling a little better today. Please keep talking to us.

Good luck bootles and cloud

Bootles I've thought about changing careers when my eventual little one goes to school or even finishing work for a couple of years.

The thought of a 4 year old being in before school club, at school, after school club. I hate it, and what do you do about holidays???

I know some people have no choice but if our finances allowed it then I'd like to consider it. But hey I need up get there first!!!!

bootles and cloud - very best of luck for today's scans. We will all be there with you both x

sebs - huge hugs lovely. The first trimester is a complete head fuck and as others have said, the only thing you can do is plod on one day at a time, trying to remain vaguely sane. We are all there for you hun no matter what happens. Sending lots of Internet hand holding your way. x

Yep, got my dating scan this morning, and my heart is racing (and my intestines are dancing the conga ).
I'm already at the hospital (way too early), waiting for DH to get here - we had to come in different cars because we're off to work afterwards. Wishing the time away...

Good luck today bootles and cloud, absolutely everything crossed xxx

Sorry for my post last night, I know it's triggering for others and I was going to keep my head down but of course that felt rude when people were kindly asking after me. I having the Harmony test through the hospital privately, just the bloods but obviously I have to get there first.

I probably won't post much for a whole but I will keep am eye on the thread and I shall be cheerleading everyone on from my padded cell lol.

Absolute best of luck today cloud and bootles. Keeping everything crossed for you both xx

bootles, go for it in the job front! Sounds like a good plan and a change for a better work/life balance.

sebs, hope you're feeling ok today lovely. I second the suggestion that it might be worth seeking some support from your gp/counselling. I think it's easy to think that after mc is over we should be ok again, but it's effects really last much longer. Big hugs x

Sebs I know exactly how you feel xx

Touching base from Bruges to give a hand hold to Cloud and Bootles. Thinking of you both today and hoping for good news.

Sebs - big hugs. The others have put the advise and thoughts far more positively than I ever could but I wanted to add my support. Please only lay low if that helps you, not because you feel you should if that makes sense.

I was due to get a peak today but still on high yes I am using clearblue despite my pledge to avoid Did anyone else have longer cycles after scratch? Or after starting acupuncture?

Re-read msg to Sebs and realised 'positively' came out wrong. I mean they put it better. Xx

Scan was good! Beating heart, 2 arms, 2 legs etc
Nuchal measured 1.9mm, happy with that. Now just the matter of waiting for the blood results...

Whoop whoop!!????????????

Yay cloud - fab news. xxxx

Yay cloud!!! So so happy for you. You waited such a long time for this. Fingers crossed for good blood results

Great news on the scan Cloud I'm thrilled for you. Wishing you a very quiet and healthy pregnancy ahead.

Big hugs to you Sebs. Please don't say sorry for your post we are here to share with and support one another along this incredibly difficult journey. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this pregnancy progresses well, the liklihood is that it will.

XxX

cloud great news
sebs sending you virtual support for a tough time

cloud well done, great news!

cloud that is fantastic!!! Hope you don't have to wait too long for the bloods.

sebs, if it helps, please keep posting. I think we all trigger our own anxieties anyway, and we all want to help you through this. Of course if it helps to keep your head down we understand that too.

I'm a little all over the place as the scan went well! Measuring 9+6, right amount of growth, and wriggling away.

I have signed up to their research study (looking for markers from early pg for mc and pre-term labour etc) and they said I can basically come in for a reassurance scan anytime I need to. As part of the study I have to have another next week.